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Remember though, back in the day, not too long ago it was common-law that a man could not be charged with raping his wife.
Think about that for a moment, and consider its implications on the institution of marriage and its place in society, as this was the case for several hundred years, only recent being changed with the advent of feminism.
I posted this in another thread, but it could apply here as well.
Some women have this attitude of "I don't NEED a man." For those with that attitude, why should they wonder why they don't have one? Why would a man go somewhere he's not wanted/needed? I would take that attitude at face value--and say, if you don't NEED me, then I'll go find someone who DOES.
This is from that thread, TKramer - part of my response (from Bridges of Mad. Cty).
Btw, what do I "need" in a man? I can tell you - love, respect, a partner to enjoy life with, to have children with, to be a good role model for them, and yes, to financially provide for us and them too. Altho I could outearn my dh, we have opted to have me stay home with the kids while they are small, and that works for us.
But I don't "need" him just for his pocketbook. Why do you think that a man's only contribution is what he can financially provide his family? There is sooooooo much more that my dh gives to us, that I value more, than his paycheck.
So yes, I "need" a man in my life, for support, love, companionship - those things that make us "equal partners" in the relationship. But I don't "need" him financially, which gives me more leverage/strength in our relationship. For ex., what if he started cheating on me? What if he started abusing the kids? And I couldn't leave b/c I had no where to go, no family, no $, I'd be scared stiff b/c he had all the control.....that still happens to a lot of women. Sure you can say, "Well, you could go to a shelter." You wanna live in a shelter with little kids? For how long?
At least I can say that if anything ever goes bad in my marriage, I can get up and walk out the door, knowing that I can provide for myself and my kids. And he knows that too. So in that sense, I think men are less likely to behave badly, if they know that there will be consequences, and that they can't get away with it, just b/c they have all the financial control in the family.
What happened to family? Oh, right, those don't exist anymore.
I'm not sure what you mean by that. If you read my post, you can see that I am in a nuclear family. If you mean extended family - personally, right now, I'm overseas, so we have NO family here.
Every case is different, but just b/c you get married, doesn't "secure" you a good family life. Yes, that is the ideal, and that is what we all hope for, but it doesn't always happen that way. I think marriages did hold together longer in the past, b/c there weren't options for women, and that is sad. Meaning that a woman HAD to stay married, even if her husband was a philandering ogre, b/c she had no other options.
Btw, what should all the women do that don't get married?
Perhaps, also, there were no easy outs, through divorce, and the fact that she could earn her own money--and didn't have to stay if she merely changed her mind.
I'm talking about the woman's family--brothers, father, uncles, etc.
I can't say I buy into the "Daddy's Little Princess" theory - at least not for my generation. I think the sense of entitlement (and you men have it too, but I suspect the source is different) comes from somewhere else.
I wasn't clear. I used the term "daddy's little princess" as a euphemism. I don't think dads' treatment of their daughters has much to do with this at all, and I didn't realize that phrase would be taken that way.
I meant that men reward certain female behaviors that should not be rewarded, and vice versa.
Instead of complaining about the opposite sex, people need to recognize that the sexual preferences of their own sex created many of these sociopathic disorders that you find out there in the world.
I would say Early Feminism no, from the Suffragettes to the 60's, changesin women's conditions were overdue, I can't imagine what the 20th Century would have been if the Victorian values of the 19th Century had survived, however since about 15 years and the rise of neo-feminism following the development of gender studies in the academic field, there seems to be a backlash of puritan values inside the feminist movement which effectively putsa huge stress on intergender relationships (when the executive has to keep his door open so as not risking being accused of manhandling by his secretary eg)....
Btw, what should all the women do that don't get married?
I think we're supposed to quit our jobs, sell our homes and cars, move back in with our parents, so we can work on our needlepoint and harpsichord skills until we get an offer of marriage from a wealthy landowner from the next county.
This thread is depressing and further evidence that our world is doomed.
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