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Man or woman...if you're interested in someone let them know - pursue them. If you keep hemming & hawwing, you just may miss the opportunity and you'll wonder the rest of your life...
"What if I would have....."
Do you really want to take the chance that you blew a great opportunity with a great man or woman? What if they would have been everything that you've been searching for in a person? What if you missed out on some mind blowing sex?...LOL (Ok. I just couldn't resist that one)
Relationship rules can be stupid sometimes...throw your rulebook out the window and take a chance.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HansProof
All I know is I go after what I want. I make life happen. I learned a long time ago if I wait for life to happen around me...it kinda never does
That goes for both men and women. If you see someone you fancy, go get to know them for god's sake! All these stupid rules are just that...
Go on any dating site and look at how many women make lists of what they want.
"Must be at least 6ft, of non-Angle Celtic decent and have between 46 and 52 freckles"
By the time they're done, the only man that meets the criteria is the one in their head
That's why I don't answer "what do you find appealing in a woman" threads. I don't care for short women but hey, anything is possible. Probably end up marrying one. Sure hate to miss the best woman in the world only because she was 5'2.
Man or woman...if you're interested in someone let them know - pursue them. If you keep hemming & hawwing, you just may miss the opportunity and you'll wonder the rest of your life...
I agree. People act like that person they're looking for will just magically bump into them and then start pursuing them. Get real. That may happen in the movies, but most things in real life require effort. Just look at the way you find a job. Do you wait for recruiters to call you or do you go out and actually look for a job?
This thread has really left me confused on what anyone wants. Sheesh.
JSizzle.....I posted the original question.....and to relieve you of confusion, my question simply was..... Why don't men pursure women anymore?
This question was geared to people over 40, only because I seriously wanted to hear from the over 40 crowd about why this is so. I'm glad that the younger folk answering this thread, which has been helpful as well.
What I'm understanding (and I'm only on page 14 so far) is that it doesn't matter WHAT age they are. It is very easy to see that the men responding boldly are responding that way due to something that has happened to them personally....i.e. been rejected, a woman played games with them, been hurt and don't trust...etc.
Everyone is entitiled to their own opinion and I've actually learned a lot. Thank you!
I agree. People act like that person they're looking for will just magically bump into them and then start pursuing them. Get real. That may happen in the movies, but most things in real life require effort. Just look at the way you find a job. Do you wait for recruiters to call you or do you go out and actually look for a job?
I can tell that you don't have a problem. I'm speaking "men" in general, on this forum. Before I met my husband (although I was pretty young), I have done some pursuing as well because I was reckless and fearless. I didn't fear rejection. Although the pursuit didn't go any further then just asking for a number, I wouldn't be the one to ask a man out. Overall though, men who really wanted me were the ones to pursue. I wasn't giving them a cold shoulder, but I let them take charge. To me, it was about them being aggressive, taking matters into their hands and not taking "no" for an answer. I loved that, that was one of the things that attracted me to my husband in the first place.
I feel like a lot of women (not all, but most) think this way:
If a man is confident enough to hand me his number, why isn't he confident enough to ask for mine? Why is he sending out vibes that it's not that important for him whether or not he will get in touch with me?
And again, it's not about asking for number, it's about not being asked for one.
Great answer! and Bravo! Geeze if you were closer us ladies could do lunch! Hey Mango Tango, we need to go out and get a burger LOL
I don't see anything in your posts about what men want. You seem to think it's all about what the women want.
Well, what I want does not match what you expect me to do. So I do what I want. You seem to think there is no way it will work for me, but guess what, it has worked pretty well for me.
The post was sent by a woman, with a question that has certainly gained a lot of interest. If you want to know what men want...start a thread
You are 45. I am 25. There are two decades that separates us. Obviously things have changed. Did you expect things to still be as they were in the 1970's?
And no you are not old fashioned. You are only "old fashioned" when it suits you. That is the crux of the matter. I personally have no problems approaching women and doing the work, but I will also sit back and relax and let the woman do the work sometimes. I done that before. It works for me. It works for that woman. End of.
There are plenty of men out there who are willing to chase you and everything that you want. I hope you find one. Good luck.
Dorans....I did not realize you were only 25. My question is why 40+ year old men don't pursue. Although I've learned a lot through your posts.
I don't care to waste time pursuing any woman. Either you want to be with me or you don't...and I'm not talking about sex. When a woman wants me she'll let me know or I don't give a crap. How about them apples.
This thread has morphed into some ugly beast from the seventh circle of h e l l.
What is so horrible about a guy asking a girl out? Please!!! I implore all you men to explain why you are SO AGAINST it.
I never ONCE said that I like to sit back and let the man tirelessly chase me. I do put forth an effort and I do make it clear that I am interested, but I let the guy be the one to make the initial move. This is personally what I am COMFORTABLE with. It is not about fear of rejection or me wanting to string the guy along. It is because I LIKE the guy to have the more traditional masculine role. So shoot me!!!! If a guy cannot have the balls to ask me out to grab ONE CUP OF COFFEE, then I'd hate to see him faced with bigger risks.
And yes, boys - this IS about confidence. Men who are confident in themselves aren't terrified about asking a girl out on a date. So what if she says no? Big deal. That doesn't say anything about who the guy is as a person. It just means that she doesn't want to go out with him. It happens!! Get over it! I've liked guys that haven't liked me back before. Oh well, I moved on. That's life.
I suppose now the argument will spring up about how women should be confident enough to ask men out and etc. Yes, if some women enjoy doing that, then go for it! To each, her own. It is just not my cup of tea. I don't like having the more "masculine" role. I think it is unbearably sexy when a guy takes control.
And I do make an effort, even if I'm not the one doing the asking. I don't expect guys to ask me out as I cooly sit there and make small talk. I actively show interest. So far, it's worked great for me. Hey, I like guys who are on the direct and aggressive side. Sue me.
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That's right...grab the Bull by the Horns!!!
(Ok. I just couldn't resist that one)
) is that it doesn't matter WHAT age they are. It is very easy to see that the men responding boldly are responding that way due to something that has happened to them personally....i.e. been rejected, a woman played games with them, been hurt and don't trust...etc.
