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I'm not good with "vibes", to be honest. I've had people say, "We were wondering when you two were going to get together--it was SO obvious to the rest of us."
I don't disagree with any of that. All I'm saying is if she finds a man attractive and is interested in him, then why not go for it? Just because a man is interested in here, does not mean he will always go and ask for her number. I've been there before. I've been too shy, not confident enough etc. to ask a woman out that I was interested in. I think many women are not taking into that consideration, that although socially unacceptable, some men don't have the best of social skills and at times can be too shy. It would be nice if women sometimes did the asking, you know.
The notion that if a man does not ask a woman out means he is not interested is just totally false and incorrect.
Well, perhaps it's not all black and white and there are shades of gray, just like you said, it's possible that a guy is just shy or missed an opportunity, not confident enough.
I do think though that by the time you are in your 40s, just like the OP, and not in your 20s (as I believe you are), men learn those social skills and learn that majority of women actually like to be pursued. Maybe men ALSO need to read what women are saying here, i/off trying to prove us wrong and actually see what women prefer. It goes both ways.
I wasn't waiting for anything. She liked me. She found me attractive. She didn't want to miss the opportunity by sitting on her arse and waiting around, so she did the asking. What's so wrong about that? Many women have done that to me. Some succeeded, others not.
Exactly.
So do you always do the asking when you AREN'T in the company of such a woman??
I can respect that, but what if this guy doesn't have a clue that you are 'eagerly waiting' for a date. If he doesn't ask you, would you ask him out tomorrow?
You know, he might not be that inclined to read body language or try to make guesses at what the girl is thinking....
Honestly, if a guy is clueless to the fact that I am into him, then Houston we have a problem. While I don't carry a sign that reads "Ask me out!", I make it clear when I am interested.
I don't disagree with any of that. All I'm saying is if she finds a man attractive and is interested in him, then why not go for it? Just because a man is interested in here, does not mean he will always go and ask for her number. I've been there before. I've been too shy, not confident enough etc. to ask a woman out that I was interested in. I think many women are not taking into that consideration, that although socially unacceptable, some men don't have the best of social skills and at times can be too shy. It would be nice if women sometimes did the asking, you know.
The notion that if a man does not ask a woman out means he is not interested is just totally false and incorrect.
I think when man or woman has to chase...it seems rather pathetic. I prefer "the dance" method of both parties involved in enjoying each other.
D- you know a lot of guys I hit on said stuff like that later one down the line. I even had a few say they were "afraid" of me because they thought I would shoot them down B-style.
You can pretty much tell if a guy is interested in you when you walk up to them. I don't think guys are quite as perceptive and I also think the female face can be harder to sort out signals than a guys face. Especially if they go crazy with the make-up.
My rule of thumb was if you can make his cheeks pink with a smile and "hello" GAME IS ON! LOL
Girls do that if they like the guy or not. Tittering about "oh he thinks I am pretty hee he he heelalalal" Puke.
Well, perhaps it's not all black and white and there are shades of gray, just like you said, it's possible that a guy is just shy or missed an opportunity, not confident enough.
I do think though that by the time you are in your 40s, just like the OP, and not in your 20s (as I believe you are), men learn those social skills and learn that majority of women actually like to be pursued. Maybe men ALSO need to read what women are saying here, i/off trying to prove us wrong and actually see what women prefer. It goes both ways.
Aye. I don't actually a problem with this. I've approached women - and women have approached me. I've been on both sides of the coin. I have no problems with social interactions.
Half the problem is that many women [not you] come across with their princess complex who wants to sit on their pedestal and let the man jump through hoops for her. And men resent that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by seeniorita
So do you always do the asking when you AREN'T in the company of such a woman??
I do the asking when I feel it's appropriate. I have no problems with that.
Honestly, if a guy is clueless to the fact that I am into him, then Houston we have a problem. While I don't carry a sign that reads "Ask me out!", I make it clear when I am interested.
I don't know. I miss some pretty obvious signs myself sometimes. I bet I'm not in the super minority here.
I think when man or woman has to chase...it seems rather pathetic. I prefer "the dance" method of both parties involved in enjoying each other.
D- you know a lot of guys I hit on said stuff like that later one down the line. I even had a few say they were "afraid" of me because they thought I would shoot them down B-style.
You can pretty much tell if a guy is interested in you when you walk up to them. I don't think guys are quite as perceptive and I also think the female face can be harder to sort out signals than a guys face. Especially if they go crazy with the make-up.
My rule of thumb was if you can make his cheeks pink with a smile and "hello" GAME IS ON! LOL
Girls do that if they like the guy or not. Tittering about "oh he thinks I am pretty hee he he heelalalal" Puke.
The first bold; absolutely spot on. That's what men in here are advocating. Both parties should be involved.
Second bold; I have been there myself. Many men have as well. I don't think women are aware of that.
Yeh, but not every woman believes that. I've had many women approach me and ask me for my number. I found that very attractive. I fail to see how people see as a turn-off [women in this thread has said that]. How can they tell men what men find a turn-off?
A person should do what they feel is right. Women keep saying they hate gender roles, yet they want these type of gender roles to exist cos it suits them. It doesn't make sense..
I was speaking as to what I personally like and I know I'm not alone. However, of course there are other women who prefer different approaches and etc. I know some girls that LIKE being the one in charge and steering the car. To each his/her own.
And I think partially one of the reasons you find it attractive is because it's flattering. It also does take some of the pressure off you. I mean, what do you have to lose? Absolutely nothing. The prime rib is walking up to you and asking if you'd like a bite. What's not to like? Furthermore, It's been scientifically proven that we like people who like us (unless they're creepy and stalkers). Of course, we all know about scientifically proven facts lol. Who knows if they are really true or not.
I don't have a problem with gender roles. I just don't like it when men use it to patronize women, or vice versa. The best example I can give is I like it when a man knows I can reach that jar of XYZ on the top shelf, but he wants to get it for me. I don't mean that in a self-entitled way either. Basically, a guy knows I can take care of myself, but he wants to take care of me. I hope that makes sense. I'm not trying to pull the "I'm a princess!!!" routine.
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