Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
But once you've been caught, there's no need for pursuit. By either party.
WRONG!!! Even after your married you can't just sit back like a bump on a log.....BOTH need to pursue at that point to KEEP the relationship going......otherwise the one being ignored may start to wander (unfortunately)
Wow, this is turning into a battle of the sexes. Sigh.
I understand that men don't like having to do all the "work," but if a guy really likes a girl, then is it all still labeled as "work?"
I like to be pursued by guys. For me, it separates the guys who really want to get to know me from the guys who just want to get to know my naked body. If a guy only wants to hook up, he's not going to invest a lot of time. There's always another pretty girl more willing right around the corner.
The guy being the pursuer IS the traditional role. I'm not saying that I want the guy to continually chase me while I put on a cold glare and bark at him. I'm warm and receptive to him, but I refuse to throw myself at him. A guy should be perceptive enough to realize whether or not a girl will say yes or no to a date (although this depends on the girl as well; some girls like to play games and shame on them).
That said, I have learned from personal experience that it is always better to let the guy make the first move (ie: ask out on a date). I will smile, flirt, talk, and joke until the cows come home, but I am not going to ask the guy if he wants to have dinner with me tomorrow night. If a guy can't get up the nerve to ask out a girl who is eagerly waiting to be asked out, then he's not the guy for me. I like guys who are on the aggressive and direct side. They tend to go better with me. I'm far from passive and find myself easily frustrated with passive guys because I am the one having to make all the decisions. I wish some guys would realize that girls like it when they take control.
Ditto.
I just got on CD for the first time today and found this thread at already 178 posts Wow!
A previous boyfriend of mine seemed to hate it when I asked him out, he said he felt "pursued". So fine, I quit pursuing. We broke up. A little over a week ago, we went to a sporting event together (we're still friends) and he asked me where I wanted to sit. At the time the crowd was all standing for some ceremony so I couldn't see where the empty seats were. I was trying to look for decent empty seats when he gave me a look of frustration before heading off to the nosebleed seats - I followed. On one hand he appears to want to be the one in charge, and not be pursued, but then gets frustrated when I let him take the lead.
we know that. but i don't wanna do all the work and woo her and impress her etc whilst she does absolutely nothing [b] if shes doing absolutely nothing, STOP pursuing. If you are wooing her and she is interested.....you WILL know it!
, bar show interest. Anyone can show interest. Its about acting upon that interest. Either way, i fail to see why it is a turn-off for a woman to do the initiating. Many women have done that to me, some very attractive, others not so much. But i still had huge respect for them cos they showed determination, character and went against the social grain of "im gonna sit on my pedestal were not sitting on a pedistal...were old fashioned, and we're ladies, not women acting like horn dogs until a man approaches me, cos i want to be courted and do zero work and im too good to pursue the man i am interested in" mentality. Those kinda women don't get another look from me.
I could do all that your hubby did, and yet the girl could turn around say and no. Complete and utter waste of time and effort.
A woman who goes and gets what she wants is 10000x more attractive and sexy than a woman who sits backs with her princess complex [not directed at you btw.]
men have really changed over the years. See my other comments please. This is not about a princess complex....this is about trying to understand how much you guys have changed over the years.
WRONG!!! Even after your married you can't just sit back like a bump on a log.....BOTH need to pursue at that point to KEEP the relationship going......otherwise the one being ignored may start to wander (unfortunately)
That would be the fault of the unfaithful one.
There is nothing that would make me cheat on someone I was in a relationship with. Even if we stopped having sex altogether.
Wow, this is turning into a battle of the sexes. Sigh.
I understand that men don't like having to do all the "work," but if a guy really likes a girl, then is it all still labeled as "work?"
I like to be pursued by guys. For me, it separates the guys who really want to get to know me from the guys who just want to get to know my naked body. If a guy only wants to hook up, he's not going to invest a lot of time. There's always another pretty girl more willing right around the corner.
The guy being the pursuer IS the traditional role. I'm not saying that I want the guy to continually chase me while I put on a cold glare and bark at him. I'm warm and receptive to him, but I refuse to throw myself at him. A guy should be perceptive enough to realize whether or not a girl will say yes or no to a date (although this depends on the girl as well; some girls like to play games and shame on them).
That said, I have learned from personal experience that it is always better to let the guy make the first move (ie: ask out on a date). I will smile, flirt, talk, and joke until the cows come home, but I am not going to ask the guy if he wants to have dinner with me tomorrow night. If a guy can't get up the nerve to ask out a girl who is eagerly waiting to be asked out, then he's not the guy for me. I like guys who are on the aggressive and direct side. They tend to go better with me. I'm far from passive and find myself easily frustrated with passive guys because I am the one having to make all the decisions. I wish some guys would realize that girls like it when they take control.
Mango Tango.....I couldn't have said it better myself.
men have really changed over the years. See my other comments please. This is not about a princess complex....this is about trying to understand how much you guys have changed over the years.
You are 45. I am 25. There are two decades that separates us. Obviously things have changed. Did you expect things to still be as they were in the 1970's?
And no you are not old fashioned. You are only "old fashioned" when it suits you. That is the crux of the matter. I personally have no problems approaching women and doing the work, but I will also sit back and relax and let the woman do the work sometimes. I done that before. It works for me. It works for that woman. End of.
There are plenty of men out there who are willing to chase you and everything that you want. I hope you find one. Good luck.
I cannot possibly be the only one here who's noticing that:
A. The participating women in the thread are telling us how we're misinterpreting their actions while filling us in on what they REALLY mean by their actions.
B. These same participating women are telling the participating men what we ACTUALLY mean by our own actions.
No, really -- I'm not making this up. Read back through this thread.
Ding Ding WWCD! Too much dating advice taken from Cosmo and the other self help books.
You can certainly see the generational gap from these posts!
Personally I like the idea that the interested party give someone their number instead of the old fashioned approaching of asking for a number. Hasn't any women ever felt uncomfortable by some guys that will demand a number and you are scared to give it to them because you don't want a stalker or someone tracing your home phone number to your address and showing up at your door? I've been stalked several times and have had female friends who also have so I think its really a nice gesture if the guy offers his number.
It's also easier for everyone that you give your number out if you are interested and if they call or text back you know they are interested. By not asking for someone's number it saves face where someone who is not interested in dating, or is in a relationship, just started seeing someone else or is gay/lesbian does not feel like a cornered animal by having someone demand their number. Give the guy a break. I think the man's approach shows he is classy and sophisticated, but that's just my two cents.
PS: It may also be that he is shy. One really shy older man left his email address on my dryer at the laundrymat. That was totally okay with me but the creepy part is he set up a yahoo email address with my name in it because he had eavesdropped on me having a conversation with my neighbor in the laundryroom a few weeks before and learned my name.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Wow!
