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I would NOT recommend dating a recently divorced person. When MY ex husband left me, all I was looking for was validation and someone to "want" me, plus a "psychologist" to vent to. Definitely didn't take the first 2 guys I dated after the divorce seriously.
I would NOT recommend dating a recently divorced person. When MY ex husband left me, all I was looking for was validation and someone to "want" me, plus a "psychologist" to vent to. Definitely didn't take the first 2 guys I dated after the divorce seriously.
It's been my experience, both as one who's been there and as an observer, that usually the first person dated is exactly what Sweetheart described above which is why I label that person a 'transitional other' a way to get from the marriage to the next phase in his/her life without having to go it alone. You will be served a helping of leftovers and unappreciated for it every step of the way. Then he/she will move on because there's so much baggage relative to his marriage between the two of you. I wouldn't date anyone divorced until after a year of their divorce. If you must proceed, do so with caution.
I've research this a bit on the 'net...well put. I don't want to be the transitional person & I'm not going to say call me in a year because I don't think anything's written in stone. This was his second divorce, I should add so I"m not sure if his xwife was the transition from the first divorce.
I"m sure I really don't know what really happened for the xwife to ask for a divorce. I don't really know how much of it is my place to ask other than what he told me was the reason...I'm not even sure why he got divorced to x#1.
I've research this a bit on the 'net...well put. I don't want to be the transitional person & I'm not going to say call me in a year because I don't think anything's written in stone. This was his second divorce, I should add so I"m not sure if his xwife was the transition from the first divorce.
I"m sure I really don't know what really happened for the xwife to ask for a divorce. I don't really know how much of it is my place to ask other than what he told me was the reason...I'm not even sure why he got divorced to x#1.
Ugh...
Been there done that and the same applies doubly. And he used me to keep his ego intact basically and feel wanted and when he moved back closer to here and we were actually dating - he was a complete ass. I even talked with one of his x-wives once. There's a reason he's been divorced twice - and it ain't all her. I can tell you straight up even my own father has done it three times and he was the fault of them - it was blatantly obvious to us in the family, but his 'women' didn't really know the deal or in one case, turned a blind eye to it to see what she wanted to see... now she's married to him and found out it's not such a pretty picture.
It's been my experience, both as one who's been there and as an observer, that usually the first person dated is exactly what Sweetheart described above which is why I label that person a 'transitional other' a way to get from the marriage to the next phase in his/her life without having to go it alone. You will be served a helping of leftovers and unappreciated for it every step of the way. Then he/she will move on because there's so much baggage relative to his marriage between the two of you. I wouldn't date anyone divorced until after a year of their divorce. If you must proceed, do so with caution.
Exactly. I'm grateful i came to my senses quickly (two months, long distance), and I could still be dating the guy if I wanted to set my own needs aside. I figured it was the only decision I could make.
I'm gonna start dating the same day my divorce is finalized.
That's the spirit!
I don't agree with any pre-determined time lines on dating someone after they've divorced. To assume that someone else isn't ready yet is presumptuous and self defeating, unless they've demonstrated that they clearly aren't ready, why kill it before it has a chance to get off the ground? A lot of couples who divorced were ready for it long before the papers were signed and are ready to start dating before the ink dries. The actual divorce was just a formality.
Been there done that and the same applies doubly. And he used me to keep his ego intact basically and feel wanted and when he moved back closer to here and we were actually dating - he was a complete ass. I even talked with one of his x-wives once. There's a reason he's been divorced twice - and it ain't all her. I can tell you straight up even my own father has done it three times and he was the fault of them - it was blatantly obvious to us in the family, but his 'women' didn't really know the deal or in one case, turned a blind eye to it to see what she wanted to see... now she's married to him and found out it's not such a pretty picture.
Well, here's the other thing, she wants to talk to me. He told me she wants to warn me about him. As far as I'm concerned he's been honest with me about the whole situation of everything "said." I'm not sure what's "not been said". Apparently, she couldn't have children & felt he should have children...he was fine not having children from what he's said to me. But I find it a bit strange as there's always adoption. My sons are 12 & 13.5 and I'm 48 so I'm not planning on creating any more children myself. I just can't imagine divorcing someone you love due to this childless issue....
I don't agree with any pre-determined time lines on dating someone after they've divorced. To assume that someone else isn't ready yet is presumptuous and self defeating, unless they've demonstrated that they clearly aren't ready, why kill it before it has a chance to get off the ground? A lot of couples who divorced were ready for it long before the papers were signed and are ready to start dating before the ink dries. The actual divorce was just a formality.
Exactly. My wife said as much just two days ago. As far as I am concerned, I became single in my mind right then and there. I feel bad for our kids, but as for me, I can't wait to get rid of her.
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