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Old 05-15-2010, 12:13 PM
 
1,838 posts, read 2,958,562 times
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I was talking to a couple girlfriends and they all pretty much agreed that as long as a man isn't married, they are fair game. They said being engaged is the start of a committed relationship so they wouldn't pursue a relationship with man who is engaged however if the man pursued them depending on the guy, they may be interested but they wouldn't start a physical relationship with him unless he ends the engagement with his fiancé. They all agreed that married men were off limits.

Their reasoning behind this is

#1 A girlfriend is the girl he likes most out of his friend girls but he's not serious enough about her yet to start a committed relationship which equals making her a fiancé. And until she becomes a fiancé, she's just the girl who's at the top of his list but he's still exploring his options and keeping himself available in case someone better comes along

#2 A fiancé is the start of a committed relationship and this is the time you decide whether or not this is a person you can be with until death do you part. But since an engagement doesn't guarantee marriage, the person can still have a change of heart but the odds of that happening are pretty slim. So getting involved with a man who is engaged will more than likely not work in your favor.

#3 Marriage is a legal union that officially makes you no longer single. Since there is no box for boyfriend/girlfriend or engaged/fiancé on the tax form, marriage is the only valid commitment and getting involved with a married person is breaking the law/adultery.

What are your thoughts?
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Old 05-15-2010, 12:15 PM
 
Location: Vancouver, B.C., Canada
11,154 posts, read 29,146,616 times
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no.... some people never get married look at gene simmons he has two kids but never married shanon tweed but they still have a great family and are great parents.
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Old 05-15-2010, 12:15 PM
Status: "Mistress of finance and foods." (set 14 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
49,975 posts, read 63,287,500 times
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Girlfriend, fiance, or wife....a man who will cheat with you will cheat on you.
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Old 05-15-2010, 12:26 PM
 
Location: Space Coast
1,988 posts, read 5,364,843 times
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I your friends' reasoning is very flawed because it assumed the only form of commitment is a legal marriage. Furthermore, their worldview seems very short-sighted, since it assumes that the entire planet uses the same check boxes as the U.S. federal tax form.
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Old 05-15-2010, 12:34 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,947,163 times
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I don't think you're locked into a relationship, as in fully committed, until you're married. Otherwise, why take the last step up to the alter?
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Old 05-15-2010, 12:44 PM
 
Location: Vancouver, B.C., Canada
11,154 posts, read 29,146,616 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd View Post
I don't think you're locked into a relationship, as in fully committed, until you're married. Otherwise, why take the last step up to the alter?
yeah but sometimes people are not fully committed even if they are married it's pretty subjective.
If someone is going to cheat it won't really matter to them if they are married or not.
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Old 05-15-2010, 12:47 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GTOlover View Post
yeah but sometimes people are not fully committed even if they are married it's pretty subjective.
If someone is going to cheat it won't really matter to them if they are married or not.
That's true but it still doesn't change when the commitment begins. If it began with the engagement, why do you not have to have it dissolved legally if you change your mind?
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Old 05-15-2010, 12:48 PM
 
1,838 posts, read 2,958,562 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd View Post
I don't think you're locked into a relationship, as in fully committed, until you're married. Otherwise, why take the last step up to the alter?
Yeah that's pretty much what they were saying. They were like it's a reason why a wife is a wife, fiance, and girlfriend and those titles are not meant to be viewed equally.
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Old 05-15-2010, 12:49 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,364 posts, read 14,629,211 times
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Any man who isn't wearing a wedding ring is fair game to hit on. It's up to him to let it be known he is in a committed relationship and is unavailable.
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Old 05-15-2010, 12:50 PM
 
1,838 posts, read 2,958,562 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GTOlover View Post
yeah but sometimes people are not fully committed even if they are married it's pretty subjective.
If someone is going to cheat it won't really matter to them if they are married or not.
True but this thread isn't meant to talk about the exceptions/possibilities but the general expectations of the roles.
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