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I would not regret nor would I be leaving anything undone. I would also be leaving my son in a good financial position. At 81, I have lived a good, enjoyable, and fun life.
Received a Rep for.Post 95, comment made, what was I talkng about. Referred to Post 26, if dying taking a few despicable people with them. For me, each of us has good not so good parts, sometimes, when hurting inside, one lashes out.
Fiction I'm reading, 46 year old woman, suffering with a few months to live living in a rural town. Her bucket list ? She's made a list of 7 people she feels she needs to say "I'm sorry."
The young man who helped her in days, took to heart how she lived those last days. Later, he remembered to seize the opportunity when it came And what important to him.
Maybe this is a lighthearted Thread. Maybe you have all the lessons you need. For me, as I get closer to midnight, soon to be late 70's, trying ?.to get things accomplished.
I made a file the other day with every important piece of information that my loved ones would need, should this happen. It's got all the important things that I deal with routinely, but my wife and kids do not, and so they'd have trouble with it. Banking info, brokerage accounts, combo to the big 'ol gun safe in the garage, and all kinds of information that should help them navigate my demise without added stress and anxiety.
I'd been meaning to create that document for a long time. Finally doing it brings a certain peace of regret avoided.
However, putting that aside, my one and only "can't die before x' goal is that I can't die before my kids no longer need me around. I don't mean when they are sick of me and ready for me to die...hopefully that day never comes. I mean, sadness aside, my death won't cause their lives to spiral. For example: I love my mother very much. I'd be very sad upon her death, but my life was pretty locked down by the time I was 31, with a career and starting a family. Had she died any time from that age, I would have been very sad but my life would not have been uprooted. My kids are not at that age, and so me passing before then would be a huge regret.
I made a file the other day with every important piece of information that my loved ones would need, should this happen. It's got all the important things that I deal with routinely, but my wife and kids do not, and so they'd have trouble with it. Banking info, brokerage accounts, combo to the big 'ol gun safe in the garage, and all kinds of information that should help them navigate my demise without added stress and anxiety.
I'd been meaning to create that document for a long time. Finally doing it brings a certain peace of regret avoided.
However, putting that aside, my one and only "can't die before x' goal is that I can't die before my kids no longer need me around. I don't mean when they are sick of me and ready for me to die...hopefully that day never comes. I mean, sadness aside, my death won't cause their lives to spiral. For example: I love my mother very much. I'd be very sad upon her death, but my life was pretty locked down by the time I was 31, with a career and starting a family. Had she died any time from that age, I would have been very sad but my life would not have been uprooted. My kids are not at that age, and so me passing before then would be a huge regret.
I bought a book/folder type of organizer a few years ago titled "We're Dead, Now What?" I thought the title was too funny to pass up It's turned out to be a very helpful way of keeping info organized that will be needed when we're dead. It covers everything from obituaries (yes or no?), life insurance policies, important friends to call and a whole range of other items that I hadn't even thought of.
The only things I would, not quite regret, that's too strong, but I think merely "what if" about...
I had always wanted to live abroad, probably starting from my teenaged years. I have all my extended family in Europe & had visited twice even before starting high school so it wasn't entirely a fantasy to me but a realizable option. I can't express just how strong this notion was for me throughout my adult life while I was gaining career skills, etc.
But by the time I could make it a reality, financially it would have to be for retirement. But my mother lived on well into her 90s and then came Covid. So by the time I was able to make a months-long revisit (exactly 2 years ago this month) to pick the exact landing spot in the country I had decided on by visiting several times previously, I was already past 70yo.
3 months on my own, up & down steep, hilly & slippery cobblestone streets, many simply blocks-long stairs up instead of just sidewalks, exhausted me physically & mentally. Starting all over again (I had done that repeatedly here in the States for work) on my own & on a new continent didn't seem like such a great notion now. It took me another 6 months to sadly admit that to myself.
But it isn't a regret so much as a missed opportunity, same as not focusing & becoming a proficient piano player or not studying really hard at university but enjoying my freedom & social life perhaps a bit too much. Que sera, je ne regrette rien.
I always make a distinction between regrets (knowing the right thing to do, and failing to do it out of some combination of cowardice or sloth) and disappointments (things I didn't have the knowledge / understanding to do at the opportune time, or never had the resources/time or luck required).
I have zero regrets, more than a few (ultimately minor) disappointments but I can truly say that if I dropped dead in the middle of typing this sentence, and had a fleeting realization of what was happening, my only regret would not be completing the sentence.
"Whatever happens, I regret nothing". I like that!
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It's turned out to be a very helpful way of keeping info organized that will be needed when we're dead. It covers everything from obituaries (yes or no?), life insurance policies, important friends to call and a whole range of other items that I hadn't even thought of.
