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I think over the years I have dated women from most races, my personal observation is that the only cultural divides that exist are the ones we allow to exist, if we step outside the confines of what others think, then we find we are all much the same, with the same aspirations and fears.
I didn't mean to imply that at all! My concern was with how open-minded non-black men would be. I grew up in a suburban mostly-white setting and I feel as though I have more in common with people from that kind of background.
Well, you don't think you'll find any Black men from a suburban-Black setting as equally appealing as white men? Are you interracial? I ask that because it sounds like you're looking for a specific type of man rather than a specific race of man.
I still don't get the big deal about race and it's ism. I mean, we have no control of what race, place, class or gender we are thrust upon in life. So why be proud of something you did not do. Oh, I see, because it is easy!!!!!... People make me sick with their half ass games. Life is too short to waste it on this kind of crap. I am of mixed races and have had relations with just about any other race out there. It is all good. Trust me it's all good. The only differences I have notice is in believes and behaviors. Then again, that is up to the individual. I just don't get it... I just don't. People face it. We all are born, we eat, **** and sleep and then we all die. Nothing in between makes much sense or purpose. And that my friends is life.. So either love it or leave it. I promise you this; you will not get a second chance ever... No matter what you believe.
I am a 28 year old professional black woman who is thinking about a move to Atlanta for a job opportunity. For various reasons, I have decided that it would be best for me to date interracially. I would like to hear comments from any minority women who date interracially about their experiences. Although I am quite conservative, I wonder how minority women fare in the interracial dating arena and how open-minded people are.
I apologize if this has been posted before, but I didn't see my exact issue when doing a search!
If you want to meet and date outside of your race, you must live outside of a black community. Have your black social clubs or outings to visit, still attend your church or whatever, but you have to live somewhere else. If you do this, and remain friendly and approachable, they'll come to you. You see, white men are afraid you'll shoot them down with a quick "no". I think your smart. It only makes sense to date non black men. If you don't you'll be waiting for your "black prince" forever. There are simply not enough of them to go around. Why not date white men. I refer only to white men because since they are the majority in this country, there are plenty of them to choose from. Besides, they are more interesting. Because you are black and grew up in the culture, a black man (even a strong one) will have a hard time surprising you. You sort of know what to expect culturally. But, when you date a white guy, it's interesting, exciting and even surprising. I started in college dating white men. Yes, you have the stares and looks. Then the other black girls were dying to know what it was like. They were all too afraid of what other black people would say. But you're a grown woman. This is your life. If you don't do it, you'll spend your years wondering "what if.."
I would like to see this too; most black women I know that are alone choose to be...it's not because they can't, I guess, find a man. Some just have other priorities in their lives.
As far as if a man of another race down here would ask you out, that is hard to say on this forum; I guess they would have to be attracted to you mentally and physically...we can't say whether or not that would happen; you have to get out there and see for yourself.
Didn't Bill Cosby just write a book saying that 75% of black children born now are born to single mothers? Black men it seems have some major commitment issues then. Why is marriage not as important to us as a people? To me it seems (and I may be wrong) that white people, in general, get married more often. Since there are more white men in the country it seems that they'd be easier to find or more of them would be available. Sisters wanting to date black men literally have to fight over the brother.
Great idea! Resurrect a thread to throw out inane comments about dating outside your race. FWIW, I know quite a few white (and black)women married to black men, so I guess they do commit.
Didn't Bill Cosby just write a book saying that 75% of black children born now are born to single mothers? Black men it seems have some major commitment issues then. Why is marriage not as important to us as a people? To me it seems (and I may be wrong) that white people, in general, get married more often. Since there are more white men in the country it seems that they'd be easier to find or more of them would be available. Sisters wanting to date black men literally have to fight over the brother.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm a black man currently dating a white woman, not because she's white and it's "exciting", but moreso for the simple fact that the woman I fell in love with happened to have white skin. It has nothing to do on how I feel about black women. I've dated plenty of black women, as well as Latinas and Asians. Women all have their quirks no matter the ethnicity.
Don't disparage the men of an entire ethnic group by making blanket statements. Just because a person is black like you doesn't mean that you can easily read them. Also, not all of us have commitment issues, although I agree with the Cosby in needing to address issues regarding marriage in the black community.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't date someone of another ethnicity because your'e tired of the opposite sex of your own ethnicity. Choose the person based on compatability no matter the color.
I think the initial question was if non-Black men in Atlanta are open to dating Black women. I don't know the answer to that (in fact, I don't even live in Atlanta, sorry)...but I think the question seems to be a bit "clinical"; almost like something a sociologist would ask....rather than a single woman looking to date (sorry...please don't take that statement personally).
In this day and age, someones race is not enough to gauge what type of person they are; what their interests are, what their upbringing was like, what their talents are....any of that. While environments can breed a certain "caliber" of people and what they will tolerate; it can't always be a tell-all. Especially in metro areas where there is a lot of cultural influx.
I am a Black woman and I've had quite a few boyfriends; none of whom were Black. I don't have anything at all against Black men. But my overall profile; the fact that I'm Jewish, that I like hardcore rock, punk and classic reggae, and I have a bit of an aviation fetish. It's hard to find Black men with similar interests; and I'm not going to feel comfortable with someone I don't have things in common with. And skin color is just one thing.
Also, backgrounds and norms can be overcome. My first serious boyfriend was from a rural area of South Carolina. He never had any close friends that were Black and was even kicked out of a club where he and his friends got into it with some other Black guys. We were both in aviation school together...and really had a great time. We were also both into the import racing/tuning thing. So the notion of "I'm Black and you're White" sort of was a non-issue after about the first week or so. Ironically, looking back, I do not think he had a real "preference" for Black women; just happens to be we just clicked. He had no real working knowledge of Black culture (which would bother many Black people, I know); but he saw more than just skin color in the end.
A more important question to ask is why you feel that you want to date interracially and what feelings kept you from doing so before? My mother is 100% African-American and my father is 1/2 Black Jamaican and 1/2 East Indian. I do see that in many African-American families, there is a pressure to stay strong culturally. African-Americans have had such a terrible history with institutionalized racism and superiority/inferiority issues; you can't deny the pain that many African-Americans see when one of their own goes to the "other side". I've seen this first-hand...although it doesn't affect me too much directly (my Father has always attracted and dated women from all backgrounds...probably because of his "confusing" ethnic looks). If you also have this notion of trying to "fit in" your White significant other into your sphere as a Black American (does that make any sense?), you may be in for a disappointment.
Let's say when you meet a non-Black significant other...you have straight hair (in all honesty, I know very, VERY few White people who understand the relationship most Black women have with their hair). Then you want to start going natural...rather it be an Afro or dreadlocks or something. Anyway, your appearance is probably going to change quite a bit. If the non-Black man comments that he liked your straight-hair better....well, that could be taken as, "oh, he doesn't appreciate natural African beauty" and you can end up getting offended. Meanwhile, if a Black man said this, it may be seen more so as just a preference one way or the other. Regardless of what the true intentions were....the "kicker" is in how you feel in the end.
So basically if you really feel that you can bond with someone; that they can be your best friend....you should date them and give it a go. Something as trivial as race should not stop you. However, if it's just like, "Oh I want to see what type X men are like to date" (and I'm not saying the original poster is like that...), then it kind of cheapens the whole experience. One the biggest turn offs to me is when a non-Black man comes with that, "Oh, I was always curious as to what it would be like to "be" (whatever THAT means) with a Black woman." People who say that don't see me as a person; they just see an appearance. And we all much, much more than that!
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I still don't get it.
FWIW, I know quite a few white (and black)women married to black men, so I guess they do commit.
