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If anyone doesn't "fit in" in Charlotte because we are too upper-crust or whatever, I suggest heading out to Gastonia.
But in general do I feel like I don't fit in in Charlotte? No. I fit in perfectly and I wouldn't choose anywhere else to be. I get homesick when I leave the Queen City.
I moved here because my husband moved here for a job. Im originally from Dallas, TX, and never had a problem with finding friends or building a network/fulfulling relationships with other people UNTIL i moved to charlotte. I have lived here 5 yrs and I still dont have any friends. For the longest time i thought it was me. Before I moved here I was very confident in myself, bright young college graduate with a degree and a job. I feel like a minority because Im a female, not white, and didnt go to a ivy league school. My neighbor is a white female has never said Hi to me. I meet people through my husband's work yet they say hi hello, but pretend to not know me later. I even got a job in the banking industry, have girls my age at my workplace, they have never asked to go lunch with me, yet I have asked them numerous times, they say they are busy yet they go as a big group, incredibly click-ish. Its not like im an ugly betty or anything, I try my best to look good and very friendly with others. Im also pakistani/indian descent. That could be my problem. There are 10+ indian families in my apartment complex, never once any of those family members have said Hi to me or even acknowledge me. I have reverse discrimination from my own race. I can never win. I went home to Dallas for Memorial weekend this year. I went to a BBQ party (people my own age late twenties), people in dallas were incredibly friendly, actually acklowleged me as a human being. When I came back to Charlotte, I broke down and cried!!!!! Honestly I just dont fit in Charlotte. I seriously have no friends. In the past I have joined the Y, Sierra Club, meet up groups, workout classes, cocktail hours, dance classes, college classes, university groups, volunteering at botanical garden and local CMS schools. I have met people, but none of them wanted to anything to do with me other than saying hi hello and going about their day. I just dont fit in for a reason. I would love to move back to dallas. No longer have to deal with podunk town mentality again. I feel incredibly empty to know that I have no friends, despite doing my best to reach out for network and relationships with other charlloteans.
When I came back to Charlotte, I broke down and cried!!!!!
I would love to move back to dallas. No longer have to deal with podunk town mentality again. I feel incredibly empty to know that I have no friends, despite doing my best to reach out for network and relationships with other charlloteans.
Let me get this straight..
- We're too uptight Ivy League educated bankers ~ but we have podunk town mentality
- white people here are discriminative to you ~ So is your own race
It sounds to me like you are homesick.
I actually take offense to what you said - personally - and it sounds like you just miss Big D. You're homesick.
Aside from kids, I also have to mind myself in regards to my husband's job. The job that feeds us.
Hooligan, no, I don't want them exposed to intolerance, but I'd also like to think that maybe my kids could help break down some intolerance just by being raised the way they are. Call me a freak
If more of the general population was like you guys, who seem to be live and let live, then I wouldn't be posting here at all. And, wouldn't that be nice...saving us all some carpal tunnel side effects lol.
However, enough about me, can we get back to this?
"I'm looking specifically for other people who feel like freaks - for whatever reason."
You guys don't feel like freaks, but that doesn't mean OTHER people don't.
But I think while it may be happening to you there (and we are on our way) it has been happening to me for f.o.r.e.v.e.r where I am now.
And yes, I learned that there are just some issues I don't discuss, however at home we talk about things all the time, the kids know that certain topics, not everyone agrees on and keeping peace is okay sometimes. AT the same time we (as a family) are a don't hold back say what you feel kind of group.
So it is possible to teach "social graces" in certain areas of discussion even though you have real opinions on the matter.
This doesn't mean I always bite my tongue or don't say what I believe, I do more than I even probably should but even if just for a second you get the other person to see things a little less defined, and maybe bring in a "fuzzy" area of realization that to me is okay too.
It is a very fine balance. Depending on the group I am in, I seem to share or not share accordingly. And teaching your children to read others and know how to respond without lying really isn't a bad thing.
Kind of the if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all. Its not that what you are about to say isn't nice, it just may be read as "not nice" by the person receiving the message.
- We're too uptight Ivy League educated bankers ~ but we have podunk town mentality
- white people here are discriminative to you ~ So is your own race
It sounds to me like you are homesick.
I actually take offense to what you said - personally - and it sounds like you just miss Big D. You're homesick.
I mean no offense, it is what I have observed in 5 years: Highly educated people but narrow minds. Im not homesick, Im just not welcome here. Especially I receive condescending hosility like yours on a daily basis.
I moved here because my husband moved here for a job. Im originally from Dallas, TX, and never had a problem with finding friends or building a network/fulfulling relationships with other people UNTIL i moved to charlotte. I have lived here 5 yrs and I still dont have any friends. For the longest time i thought it was me. Before I moved here I was very confident in myself, bright young college graduate with a degree and a job. I feel like a minority because Im a female, not white, and didnt go to a ivy league school. My neighbor is a white female has never said Hi to me. I meet people through my husband's work yet they say hi hello, but pretend to not know me later. I even got a job in the banking industry, have girls my age at my workplace, they have never asked to go lunch with me, yet I have asked them numerous times, they say they are busy yet they go as a big group, incredibly click-ish. Its not like im an ugly betty or anything, I try my best to look good and very friendly with others. Im also pakistani/indian descent. That could be my problem. There are 10+ indian families in my apartment complex, never once any of those family members have said Hi to me or even acknowledge me. I have reverse discrimination from my own race. I can never win. I went home to Dallas for Memorial weekend this year. I went to a BBQ party (people my own age late twenties), people in dallas were incredibly friendly, actually acklowleged me as a human being. When I came back to Charlotte, I broke down and cried!!!!! Honestly I just dont fit in Charlotte. I seriously have no friends. In the past I have joined the Y, Sierra Club, meet up groups, workout classes, cocktail hours, dance classes, college classes, university groups, volunteering at botanical garden and local CMS schools. I have met people, but none of them wanted to anything to do with me other than saying hi hello and going about their day. I just dont fit in for a reason. I would love to move back to dallas. No longer have to deal with podunk town mentality again. I feel incredibly empty to know that I have no friends, despite doing my best to reach out for network and relationships with other charlloteans.
This sounds very similar to several other posts that were on here, but those people took down the posts and no longer has a profile.
I mean no offense, it is what I have observed in 5 years: Highly educated people but narrow minds. Im not homesick, Im just not welcome here. Especially I receive condescending hosility like yours on a daily basis.
Pardon me if I sounded as if I was being condescending or showing hostility. It's hard to show emotion through words. I meant to say "it's offensive - not that I mind really - I just think you're homesick "
People who live in the Charlotte metro are not narrow minded and the metro is very diverse (Gastonia, Uptown, Southpark, etc.) For the record. I'm a Gay guy with a boyfriend. I think I can get the vibe on how accepting people are in Charlotte. My complete honest opinion on how people as a whole from Charlotte are; They will do their best to never be disrespectful of someone because of their religion, race or sexuality.
So other people also felt this way about charlotte?!
That person was just trying to stir up trouble. Similar story, similar heritage, this was their first or second post, didn't get a lot of support and POOF! They were gone. It has happened at least twice.
I moved here because my husband moved here for a job. Im originally from Dallas, TX, and never had a problem with finding friends or building a network/fulfulling relationships with other people UNTIL i moved to charlotte. I have lived here 5 yrs and I still dont have any friends. For the longest time i thought it was me. Before I moved here I was very confident in myself, bright young college graduate with a degree and a job. I feel like a minority because Im a female, not white, and didnt go to a ivy league school. My neighbor is a white female has never said Hi to me. I meet people through my husband's work yet they say hi hello, but pretend to not know me later. I even got a job in the banking industry, have girls my age at my workplace, they have never asked to go lunch with me, yet I have asked them numerous times, they say they are busy yet they go as a big group, incredibly click-ish. Its not like im an ugly betty or anything, I try my best to look good and very friendly with others. Im also pakistani/indian descent. That could be my problem. There are 10+ indian families in my apartment complex, never once any of those family members have said Hi to me or even acknowledge me. I have reverse discrimination from my own race. I can never win. I went home to Dallas for Memorial weekend this year. I went to a BBQ party (people my own age late twenties), people in dallas were incredibly friendly, actually acklowleged me as a human being. When I came back to Charlotte, I broke down and cried!!!!! Honestly I just dont fit in Charlotte. I seriously have no friends. In the past I have joined the Y, Sierra Club, meet up groups, workout classes, cocktail hours, dance classes, college classes, university groups, volunteering at botanical garden and local CMS schools. I have met people, but none of them wanted to anything to do with me other than saying hi hello and going about their day. I just dont fit in for a reason. I would love to move back to dallas. No longer have to deal with podunk town mentality again. I feel incredibly empty to know that I have no friends, despite doing my best to reach out for network and relationships with other charlloteans.
Rstar, I feel similarly out of place and I am a single white woman in her mid 50's. I understand.
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I dont fit in either
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