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I was born and raised in Queens, NY where the "f-bomb" is part of the everyday language. I think when the doctor slapped me in the delivery room I told him to f*** off. Would I ever use this language at a work party? Not in a million years. This has nothing to do with being a freak, it has everything to do with common sense and manners.
+1 - could not have been said better. I was raised outside Philly, and manners have nothing at all to do with location. There's a time and a place for everything. One would expect to hear (and take part in) swearing at an Eagles game - been there, done that! But at a work party, dinner party, etc I would think it's a personal choice to act a little more mature than one would at an Eagles game.
The choice of when and where swearing is appropriate has nothing to do with "being yourself", and nothing to do with Charlotte or any location. Just a hunch, but my guess is that the other "freaky" behavior referred to also has nothing to do with "being yourself". Realize there are times to let the freak flag fly, and times to act like a grown-up.
I am a total freak. However, I drive the minivan and "look" like I belong, but I absolutely do not. As far as I'm concerned I am on mars. Unfortunately, I cannot move. My husband has a job here and is kind of stuck at the moment. I'd love to find a place that is a little more empathetic to others and a lot less conservative.
Everyone has their right to their opinion, but I find I have to keep my mouth shut about things in general, too. I normally never bring up politics, religion, or other hot button issues, but find others do without regard. I'm always in the minority. This even happens at work events I usually just say nothing, but the assumption is there that I am the conservative, god fearing species commonly found here. There are some parts of town that are a little more liberal, open and free. Perhaps you can move? I used to live in the Commonwealth/Plaza-Midwood area. I loved it. You'd fit right in there.
I do feel that in NC and not just Charlotte, if your views are anything but conservative, then you are considered "bad" or "evil!" Afterall, conservatives or Republicans are considered good, while liberals are considered "socialists" or "un-American" around these here parts! It is ironic that this is a Democratically controlled state but there isn't anything liberal about NC at all! So in that regard, since my views are left-leaning, I guess I'm a freak as well! While most people around here probably watch Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity, I watch The Ed Show, Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow, I'm just letting the freak out of me now! I do feel that Charlotte is getting better but it isn't quite there yet! Compared to about 80% of the state, it is a lot better in terms that there is a little more of a balance of conservative and liberal. I'm glad that it isn't over-the-top right-wing like there is in other parts of the state!
Last edited by prwfromnc; 09-03-2010 at 12:36 PM..
Pink Caddy, I love your suggestions, but here's the problem. It isn't that we "freaks" don't want to do things like paint the minivan with flames and unicorns, its that we have to think about how our actions could effect our loved ones. So, I want to streak through uptown on a Wednesday afternoon with purple striped tassels affixed to my elbows, but if I did that my husband and kids would have to deal with the fall out.
What Megan and I, and those in the same boat as us, "suffer" from ('suffer' is way too strong of a term) is wanting to be who we are, but not wanting to be selfish about it. It's a tug of war. My spouse knows who I am and, shockingly, loves me anyway, but he also wants me to keep it in check. I don't begrudge him that, not in the least! If situations were reversed and he was the "freak" and I the bread winner I'd expect the same.
What happens is that we grapple with supporting our family's needs vs our own. Family wins, hands down every time, but that doesn't mean we still don't long to break out the tassels.
ps. I don't own tassels. Well, at least not purple striped ones.
Let me know when you're planning to run thru Uptown naked and I'm there! This would definately make my trip to Charlotte well worth it!
Location: The place where the road & the sky collide
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyonthelake
That's fair. If we were in Philly then maybe I'd have started a similar thread. But, we're not in Philly, we're in Clt. And, that was just one example.
You missed the whole point. I picked Philadelphia because people think that it's very liberal. You can substitute any city or town in the US. Dropping the F-bomb in that type of a social occasion is inappropriate. There is a time & a place for everything.
I used to work as a broadcast tech & when things go wrong, everyone starts running around & cussing like longshoremen. Everyone in the station had strict instructions that if they happened to be conducting a tour & it appeared that there was a problem starting, they were to remove the guests, say that there was a problem, & take them to a window in the hall where the guest could see but not hear what was going on. That said, there was not a single person who worked as a tech there who would have considered dropping the f-bomb at a company event & there were 2 guys who were pretty rough around the edges.
If not being able to drop the f-bomb at business events in Charlotte makes you feel deprived, I'm afraid that you will feel deprived wherever you go. However, as I said before, Charlotte is not the problem.
Sorry, gonna have to roll my eyes a minute. That was just an example - I've been to many similar events where that was not a big deal. Just my experience, though. There are a couple overly literal people on here.
Just wondering why it seems so important for some of you to have the "freak" defined? Is it so you can judge whether you agree? Is it offensive to you that some people just don't love this place as much as you? Otherwise, I just don't understand why some of you are even posting. What is your objective? To squash the opinions of anyone who doesn't feel the same as you? To make yourself feel better that you fit in but others don't and therefore you get to feel superior? I don't understand, please inform me. My intent is to hear from a distinct group of people, what's yours?
I didn't ask in my OP what made people think they were freaks, just IF they felt like freaks, if it bothered them or made them proud and if they ever wanted an opportunity to break out and fly their "flag". Simple as that. I didn't ask for anything else.
Excuse me a bit, I gotta make a visit to the ER - I think I may have ruptured something banging my head against this wall so much. (that, for all you math people, was an exasperation induced joke)
MichiganRN, that's awful about the public safety officer! They are supposed to protect everyone and not have bias.....guess not in his case. Ugh.
The not going to church thing is very touchy here. I've been in situations where people just assume I go to church and I find that so presumptuous. One conversation I had was with a man who said, "When you get to church on Sunday, make sure you thank the Lord for your kids." It wasn't "IF you got to church..." Not used to that and I definitely bit my tongue. I've also had situations where I've been sitting quietly in places and over heard derogatory comments made about "Yankees". That's always fun Add these things up and you realize that you probably don't belong.
Finding like people is hard. What do you do? Walk up to someone and say, "Hi, I'm from Michigan, don't go to church, am liberal and am married to a Jew....want to be friends?"
A Jewish friend of mine sent his college aged son up here for an internship and asked if I would take him out to make sure he was doing ok. Um, wow. The stories he had about dating here were shocking.
It's a tug of war. My spouse knows who I am and, shockingly, loves me anyway, but he also wants me
This brings to the table "unconditional love". Is this the right forum for this discussion? I don't know, but if it is, I would be glad to contribute my thoughts on the subject.
First off, I'm in the same boat as the poster and I keep my mouth shut most of the time too. What's in it for me is that I get to keep my friends, my husband doesn't get embarrassed, and I keep my sanity by not having to explain my views to simple minded people who only see things their way.
It's absolutely MADDENING to know that you live in a place where if you admit who you are or what you believe that you will be judged, talked about, scorned, and ignored. Don't come at me with the self-esteem BS and that people shouldn't care what others think...that's complete crap. Everyone cares what other people think. That's why we dress a certain way, say certain things (like ma'am, for crying out loud), etc.
Inviting 100 people to a barbeque at your neighbor's house is just plain rude and stupid. That's not being "freaky". Having different views than most of the people in your community doesn't mean you are an impolite moron who wants to disrespect people and spraypaint the lawn.
Argh!
CG--Para #1--Are your friends the same ppl. that you describe as "simple minded people who only see things their way"?
Para#2--have no intention of coming at you with "self-esteem BS". Not my problem. Your problem as to how you feel about YOUR self-esteem.
Para#3--You are 105% correct about my silly suggestion. Went over the top and I offer my apologies.
My question is why do you consider yourself a freak? Second because you may not fit in somewhere for whatever reason does not constitute that you are one, maybe everyone else is and it so happens that you are in an area where you might be the minority and thus "stick out" so you start to think that you are the weird one. Am I making any sense???? It is like the saying "is everyone else around me crazy or is it me?"
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I usually just say nothing, but the assumption is there that I am the conservative, god fearing species commonly found here. There are some parts of town that are a little more liberal, open and free. Perhaps you can move? I used to live in the Commonwealth/Plaza-Midwood area. I loved it. You'd fit right in there.
Add these things up and you realize that you probably don't belong. 
