Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: The place where the road & the sky collide
23,814 posts, read 34,670,113 times
Reputation: 10256
Advertisements
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whatsthenews
That's interesting.
Since moving here we have found that people are often too keen to spot forth aboout their political and religious beliefs. We believe that they're not topics that you generally discuss with people you are meeting for the first time, however it's quite hard not to enter into a dicussion when someone is clearly assuming that you have the same views.
Additionally, we've found that they are most shocked when they realise that actually you don't agree with their views and may also find them offensive.Those people often seem very set in their ways and not open to listening to alternative ways of thinking.
I was also brought up to not discuss politics or religion. I find that, overwhelmingly, both topics are avoided in Kings Mountain, with one exception. I hear, over & over, how much these people can not stand McHenry. I continually hear them say that they don't know how he keeps getting re-elected, since they don't know anyone who votes for him. I found this interesting & sort of wondered, until I saw a small article in the local weekly. The newspaper published the numerical breakdown of voter registration of Democrats, Republicans, & unaffiliated voters in Kings Mountain & Grover. The numbers are overwhelmingly Democratic. The paper went on to publish the numbers for the rest of the county without breaking down by municipality. The rest of the county has a significantly higher percentage of Republicans.
This might help to explain the reaction that you get when the people find out that you have different views.
That's interesting.
Since moving here we have found that people are often too keen to spot forth aboout their political and religious beliefs. We believe that they're not topics that you generally discuss with people you are meeting for the first time, however it's quite hard not to enter into a dicussion when someone is clearly assuming that you have the same views.
Additionally, we've found that they are most shocked when they realise that actually you don't agree with their views and may also find them offensive.Those people often seem very set in their ways and not open to listening to alternative ways of thinking.
I've noticed the same. I realize that it's probably more pronounced in my case since I'm visibly disabled, and have the combination of what many people rank as the "worst" disabilities in their mind, but even other people I know run into a lot of people who are very quick to assert their Christian faith and will outright ask you if you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Whether you do or don't isn't the point, but the fact that people come right up to you and ask you without a second thought. That shocked me, coming from the North, where people would at least get to know you first before delving into religion.
Like Whatsthenews said, most people just assume you share the same beliefs. They will pray in Jesus' name or invite you to their church without even asking if you're Christian first, let alone of the same sect. Again, whether you are or not isn't the point, but the fact people don't even bother to ask first took me by surprise when I moved here.
I've noticed the same. I realize that it's probably more pronounced in my case since I'm visibly disabled, and have the combination of what many people rank as the "worst" disabilities in their mind, but even other people I know run into a lot of people who are very quick to assert their Christian faith and will outright ask you if you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Whether you do or don't isn't the point, but the fact that people come right up to you and ask you without a second thought. That shocked me, coming from the North, where people would at least get to know you first before delving into religion.
Like Whatsthenews said, most people just assume you share the same beliefs. They will pray in Jesus' name or invite you to their church without even asking if you're Christian first, let alone of the same sect. Again, whether you are or not isn't the point, but the fact people don't even bother to ask first took me by surprise when I moved here.
Take it as a compliment and respectfully pardon yourself and state your belief . I would be very happy if someone was as kind enough to invite me to something they hold dear to their heart. Don't be shocked, be flattered, ha ha.
I can't recall Christianity being mentioned too often when first meeting a person. Nobody has ever asked me if I accepted Jesus Christ into my life besides Church officials in church or church recruiters which I don't mind. They have good intentions.
Different perspectives. Interesting. Most people I am around do not discuss religion. Especially upon the first time meeting someone. I spend most of my time in uptown, Southpark, Southend, and Gastonia. Maybe my location has something to do with it?
I'm still interested in and would appreciate hearing from people who feel like they don't fit in here, for whatever reason. People's experiences are personal. You may love it here and get annoyed that others don't, but, to be blunt, I'm not asking for your opinion.
To sum it up, it's because I'm gay, atheist, liberal, a pedestrian (downtown Charlotte is great for pedestrians but once you go outside it's all cars) in an area that is 99% Christian, homophobic, and car-driving. Being deafblind makes me stand out anywhere but when I stand out for that reason already and if people talk to me and find out that I'm also gay and atheist then it's too much and they almost always end up making some connection between needing to find Jesus to have my sight/hearing restored. So now I just play the conformity card and let people think I'm Christian and single because I'm tired of having people insinuate that my deafblindness is my own fault. I have my own beliefs but I don't go around telling people how they should believe, and by exposing myself I guess I set myself up for that situation, so I just decide to blend in.
That said, there are a few people I've gotten to know that I connect with as my real self, but all of them but one are transplants, and they're all gay or bi too, lol. They are hard to find, though, and I had to take a risk exposing myself in order to find them. We have a tacit agreement not to "out" each other to other people too.
Take it as a compliment and respectfully pardon yourself and state your belief . I would be very happy if someone was as kind enough to invite me to something they hold dear to their heart. Don't be shocked, be flattered, ha ha.
I can't recall Christianity being mentioned too often when first meeting a person. Nobody has ever asked me if I accepted Jesus Christ into my life besides Church officials in church or church recruiters which I don't mind. They have good intentions.
Different perspectives. Interesting. Most people I am around do not discuss religion. Especially upon the first time meeting someone. I spend most of my time in uptown, Southpark, Southend, and Gastonia. Maybe my location has something to do with it?
I'm Agnostic, for what it's worth.
I live in one of the four areas you listed.
Like I said, it probably happens more to me because I'm deaf and blind. I'm agnostic/atheist too, but for me it's not really about what I believe. My grandmother is Christian and she gets shocked how often people just assume she's Christian without even asking. (Even though they're right in her case, they're still making that assumption.)
I do appreciate their kindness and understand that they're well-intentioned. It just always surprises me how much people here don't even consider that someone might be of a different religion or belief. I don't get mad or offended or react in any sort of rude way. To be honest I usually find my way out by mentioning I would need a tactile interpreter or someone to type the whole sermon to me, which almost always sounds too complicated for them and they let it go. In the few cases they really tried, they got tired of it after a few weeks.
I am taking this opportunity to learn more about the Bible though. I think it's interesting because of its influence on our culture. So even though I don't believe in it, I'm studying it with Christians so I can understand more what it's about. I think in a lot of ways it has a lot of really important themes to consider in life, even if not from a religious perspective.
To sum it up, it's because I'm gay, atheist, liberal, a pedestrian (downtown Charlotte is great for pedestrians but once you go outside it's all cars) in an area that is 99% Christian, homophobic, and car-driving. Being deafblind makes me stand out anywhere but when I stand out for that reason already and if people talk to me and find out that I'm also gay and atheist then it's too much and they almost always end up making some connection between needing to find Jesus to have my sight/hearing restored. So now I just play the conformity card and let people think I'm Christian and single because I'm tired of having people insinuate that my deafblindness is my own fault. I have my own beliefs but I don't go around telling people how they should believe, and by exposing myself I guess I set myself up for that situation, so I just decide to blend in.
That said, there are a few people I've gotten to know that I connect with as my real self, but all of them but one are transplants, and they're all gay or bi too, lol. They are hard to find, though, and I had to take a risk exposing myself in order to find them. We have a tacit agreement not to "out" each other to other people too.
You may have met 1 or 2 people who you judeged as homophobic, but to declare the whole city that way is just ridiculous and far from the truth.
In addition, at most only about 85% of the population ever described themselves as "Christian" and that was a few decades ago .
With the influx of so many newcomers from other parts of the country and the world in the interveneing years the estimate is that at best 50% of the population is Christian any more.
I am sorry you have personally had bad experiences here that have made your life more difficult. I hope as time goes by you'll feel more at home.
As a gay hispanic transplant man....this is my answer......No, I do NOT feel like I don't belong in Charlotte. I chose to move here, I love Charlotte and being part of its NEW SOUTH identity. I believe if you think that you don't belong here, it is you the one with the problem, not Charlotte. Like I said, I can't be more different from the "Charlotte norm", and in my three years in the city, I have never felt discriminated against or looked at the wrong way. Embrace Charlotte and all that it has to offer, sure it is different from OH, CA, NJ, NY or FL......but isn't that the reason why you move here?
You may have met 1 or 2 people who you judeged as homophobic, but to declare the whole city that way is just ridiculous and far from the truth.
In addition, at most only about 85% of the population ever described themselves as "Christian" and that was a few decades ago .
With the influx of so many newcomers from other parts of the country and the world in the interveneing years the estimate is that at best 50% of the population is Christian any more.
I am sorry you have personally had bad experiences here that have made your life more difficult. I hope as time goes by you'll feel more at home.
I know it's not everyone but it's enough people to make me feel uncomfortable. It was definitely more than two people. I get people coming up to me praying as often as several times a day. Sometimes I can go about two days without anyone coming up to me. But it happens to me all the time. That's the only reason I feel comfortable enough to make the generalization. For example just yesterday I was with my other deafblind friend and his wife and people came up to us. He gets it a lot too, so I know it's not just me. He's religious himself and believes his hearing and sight will return one day, so I don't imagine that he finds it to be absurd the way I do.
I've also been part of numerous conversations (too many to count) that involved many homophobic comments and sat in a room where someone was going on about how homosexuality is wrong more than twice. I don't tell people I'm gay anymore but I do find myself getting caught in conversations where others assume I agree with them that homosexuality is wrong.
I think it's fair to say that while they my experiences don't reflect everyone in the Charlotte area, my viewpoint is well-founded.
Last edited by nimchimpsky; 11-15-2010 at 03:54 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. I would be very happy if someone was as kind enough to invite me to something they hold dear to their heart. Don't be shocked, be flattered, ha ha.
. 
