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Because this seems to be coming up a lot lately, I thought I'd post the facts in a new thread.
For starters, I fully realize that the majority of people who will read this probably didn't wait until marriage to have sex. It's only natural to be offended or respond negatively to anyone telling you that choices that you already made (and cannot unmake) were bad for you. This is not about telling people who did not wait for marriage that they are bad people. Because I believe in Christ and in everyone's God-given free will, I believe that everyone makes their own path through their life choices. All bad outcomes that scientific studies found for those engaging in premarital sex can be overcome via grit and determination. Add God to the equation, and you can do absolutely anything.
Having said that, here's the facts and links. I will do my best to disregard sources with clear bias:
People who cohabitated with with somebody other than their eventual marriage partner previously. So taking that into consideration, "test driving" makes absolutely no sense. You gain nothing and only stand to lose.
If you had a child with somebody else prior to marriage, the average quality of your marriage drops by almost 1/2 if you're a woman and drops by 1/4 if your a man. Avoiding premarital sex helps you there as well.
Couples who had sex before they were married are 8% less likely to have a high quality marriage.
Those that lived together prior to marriage saw an 11% drop in their chances at a high quality marriage.
Having a child together before marriage caused a 41% drop in chances for a high quality marriage, but only for those with a college degree.
Well all your so- called scientific facts are rubbish as far as I am concerned.
I began courting my missus when she was 14 and I was 16, we were married when I was 22 and have now been happily married for 56 years, and still enjoy a wonderful sex life. which may not be as good as it once was, but it's still as good once as ever it was.
I wonder if there is a difference between a couple who never slept with anyone else but just with each other in marriage versus a couple that slept around with many people before marriage. Seems like there would be.
I wonder if there is a difference between a couple who never slept with anyone else but just with each other in marriage versus a couple that slept around with many people before marriage. Seems like there would be.
Unless you've tried it, you will never know for sure.
I wonder how they found people who were virgins when they got married. That would be hard to find. You could find it if you specifically searched for couples from selected religious communities, but that might affect the results. Plus with these studies as with all studies, people lie, even to themselves.
I wonder how they found people who were virgins when they got married. That would be hard to find. You could find it if you specifically searched for couples from selected religious communities, but that might affect the results. Plus with these studies as with all studies, people lie, even to themselves.
Easy enough to find them. There are a lot of people who are solidly committed to not having sex before marriage. Within that group:
Me.
My wife.
My four sisters.
A sizable list of people that I know very well.
A whole lot of Orthodox Jews, Quakers and Mormons -- groups that are certainly not perfect but tend to commit much more strongly to abstaining from premarital sex.
A very significant subset of devout Muslims, Catholics, Baptists, Methodists, Presbyterians, Pentecostals, and the rest. All of them are foundationally taught that God wants them to only have sex within the bounds of marriage and many many millions of them restrain their biological urges to live accordingly.
One of those fun little facts of human nature: When we make X, Y and Z life choices, we tend to assume that everyone else made the same choices, especially when those choices might have been foolish at the time. "Because I looked at a lot of porn as a teenager, every teenager looks at a lot of porn." "Because I lost my virginity at age 17, that's probably a pretty good average." "Absolutely nobody actually waits till marriage to have sex, because I most certainly didn't." The reality is, your choices in life do not change reality and they do not erase the choices of others.
You're going to run into the same flaw as anonymous survey I expect. Will somebody, with full assurance of anonymity, lie and say they were a virgin when they were married? Possibly. Will a survey asking for self-described Democrats end up with quite a few Republicans lying just for laughs and vice-versa? Sure. But people who do these studies do their level best to eliminate those outliers to the point that most respondents are legitimate.
I said it in my original post -- way back in 2015. There is no rule that says sex before marriage will automatically result in you being a hopeless failure at the whole marriage game. It's more like smoking cigarettes and lung cancer. The one behavior does not guarantee the other. Millions of life-long smokers have lived to a good old age and died of natural causes not related to smoking. The absence of smoking does not mean you'll never get lung cancer. But smoking certainly greatly increases the chances of getting lung cancer, heart disease and a whole lot of other undesirable maladies. If a person makes the conscious decision to smoke, everyone pretty much knows all this, but we societally shame them for their self-destructive behavior. Premarital sex does not have a similar taboo, but it's detrimental effect on everyone in your life is at least as bad and in many ways far worse. Step one = Acknowledging that there is a problem.
Studies show contrary. Married Christians tend to have more and better sex.
I have been with many married xian women, and as sexually deprived they were with their husbands, I can say they did have a lot more and crazy better sex.
Atheist do it like no one is watching.
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I seriously doubt that.
