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Again, I'm not talking about respect for my academic achievement, I'm talking about respect for me as a consumer of their product.
Everything at my university is on their schedule for their convenience and very little thought is given to what I want or what my schedule is. I'm told how I can pay for my tuition (no credit cards), when/where I have to be to register for classes, what times I have to meet outside of class for group work, what classes I can and can't take (have to take some BS elective instead of an elective that will actually do me some good), a change in class start times for the benefit of the Professors and no students wanted it, etc.
I always feel like I'm bothering someone when I need to use the advising office, registrars office, admin services, etc.
You must have been at a very small college with limited resources and class offerings and / or attended a long time ago...
You must have been at a very small college with limited resources and class offerings and / or attended a long time ago...
It was fairly recent, a small graduate program in a very large university. I will admit I'm almost 50 years old so I may have less tolerance for the nonsense that a 20 something might think nothing of.
It was fairly recent, a small graduate program in a very large university. I will admit I'm almost 50 years old so I may have less tolerance for the nonsense that a 20 something might think nothing of.
Heh. Graduate programs treat the students like lowly peons, especially at the doctorate level. The students are being hazed for membership in a very exclusive club. Thems the rules LOL.
And if you were in a masters program with little prestige in a small department, you are really going to be ignored since you very well may be part of what is considered a profit center built around students the faculty consider just there to be "credentialed" and not real "scholars" who care about learning. It is pretty sucky.
I don't like my first name so I don't use it, I use my nickname exclusively even at work - it's on my badge issued by my employer. I ask my instructors to please address me by my nickname and have yet to have anyone object - some forget and I gently remind them.
I work in a psych hospital and frequently patients decide they don't like their name during their stay, which is typically only a few days, and staff does their best to remember that Joe wants to be called Bob today. Seems to me if you ask your instructors to address you as Mr. Smith most probably they will.
Which means that it's probably not about how people address you that's the real issue. I'm wondering what is really happening and if you're connected with the VA? Even those here who don't have a background in psych can see that this is an iceberg and as a vet I can tell you that there ARE people who are willing to hear you and offer support. You can begin online if you're more comfortable in this environment, you can try veteranscrisisline.net or call them at 1-800-SUICIDE and hit 1 for the vet line, or call 1-855-838-8255 to talk to a vet for other referrals.
I am not the typical student: I am veteran, former contractor who lost his hand serving his country, and in my early 30s.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Datafeed
not the point, imagine if you were a black person whose ancestors had been called boy and by their first name until the late 1960s. if your grandpa who was lynched and called boy (and worse) told you never to be called by your first name by anyone other than your brothers, sisters, and parents, and perhaps closet friends what would you do.
what you want to be called and what i want to be called are not the same. is that a bad thing?
I assume if I told a professor this he would comply rather quickly..espcailly if one was polite and addressed him formally.
Frankly my first thoughts reading this thread were what is this guys problem. I would hope that if you were to ask to speak to the professor and quietly conveyed your posted message they would have no problem addressing you as Mr._____.
Best
of luck to you.
Interesting -- a purely mercantile approach to higher education. I suppose that a religious person with the same general approach to life would have similar demands on the clergy. "See here, I am paying your salary Rev. Bunkey Boy, so you had better come to terms with just who you are dealing with . . . "
Last edited by Hamish Forbes; 11-06-2013 at 04:26 AM..
Academia is a business. Healthcare is a business. So is your local church a business. Some of the worker bees inside of the organization may disagree. But the folks running the show always understand that deep down, it is a business. Part of the shtick or "sell" is to pretend it isn't a business.
I'm glad the professor humored you, but you really do need to realize that not everyone you meet in life is a bellhop or a desk clerk that wants to pacify you so they'll get a good tip.
I am, however, fascinated by your impression than you spending a lot of money means that people will address you formally. I get called Mrs. Meh_whatever at the Four Seasons AND at Holiday Inn Express.
That's what you get from the service industry.
What's your point? What are you fascinated about?
Vegas is not the Holiday Inn Express...the underlying issue here is the familiarity among some circles which I eschew.
Since he is the Professor (not Prof) and you are the student it is perfectly acceptable for the Professor to address you by your first name.
He is there to teach you not to refer to you differently than any other student no matter what your age.
If you don't like it, go to a different University.
No,I like COlumbia. I sent emails to all my Profs and all but one responded in the affirmative. The other one has not gotten back to me yet but I don't think she is opposed to the idea.
It ain't that serious because most of the profs don't even address me.
you are taking this way too seriously. people are normally addressed how they choose to be.
the doorman in vegas used to call me by my first name. I politely corrected him and he calls me Mr. I call him Mr. too...
i think you think I am trying to assert dominance. I am not...I just am formal.
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Frankly my first thoughts reading this thread were what is this guys problem. I would hope that if you were to ask to speak to the professor and quietly conveyed your posted message they would have no problem addressing you as Mr._____.
Part of the shtick or "sell" is to pretend it isn't a business.
