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Several of the worst bullies from my HS days are dead now. They died young either thru accident or illness. do I feel good about it? No of course not. But I also don't feel the least bit bad either. They got what they deserved. Gotta love karma!!
One became a nice cop. The rest I avoid. They've not apologizing to you, they'rethey're doing it to get past guilt. For these people, high school was fun. For their victims, it was a reason to consider suicide.
In my early grade school years I was overweight and thus a target. By junior high I was big, but no longer fat. I discovered there wasn't a kid in my class that I couldn't whip and thus the bullying stopped. I was lucky that I could stop the bullying by my physical abilities alone.
I will never forget it though. I found myself standing up for friends in high school who still were targets. This was easy to do against guys that were bullies, but impossible to do when dealing with the mean girls when they're pack mentality takes over. I could stand up for myself by verbally turning it back on the b*t*h*s, but it got old and they never changed all through school. Fortunately they were small in numbers and most of the worst were in the class ahead of me.
The ones that got picked on the worst were a couple girls. In grade school I even said nasty things a few times to them just to fit in with the ringleaders that I regretted later. I make a special effort to be nice to these two when I do see them just because of my guilt, even though I didn't do it very many times. I know one of them has forgotten that I may ever have been a part of it and we're good friends. The other gal was so scarred by the school years that she's defensive with everyone to this day.
There are still some girls in my class who like to somewhat try to keep the "pecking orders" in place even after 40 years. It's pretty subtle now, but I did notice this shadow at our class reunion last year.
I know one group of school bullies who never apologize, school teachers. Some of them enjoy being the bully they were when they were students. It wasn't just the gym teachers. A good example is from Pink Floyd's The Wall. The teacher going out of his way to insult and belittle students in class. Because my parents raised me well, I didn't jump up and start beating up the teacher, but I did fantasize about doing it.
The best revenge you can ever get on a school bully is success.
Yes, although it's true some people seem to never change from high school, even decades later, it's much more often the case that the people who were nobodies in high school go on to be pretty successful and/or wealthy and/or famous in adult life, while the people who were big shots in high school go on to work as cashiers at Wal-Mart like that one person mentioned earlier in the thread.
That's just the nature of life and the universe. Would you rather have a wonderful childhood/adolescence and burn out early, spending 40 or 50 years working at Wal-Mart or changing oil or whatever, or would you rather suffer during grade school and high school, leave your ****ty hometown, and become wildly successful maybe 10 or 15 years after high school somewhere else?
I found it rather nauseating to read a such drivel as "The entire football team attneded wearing their red jerseys."
I am the parent of a bullied child. I think his parents are more gracious than I, I'd have buried my child with only his family at his gravside. Nice touch with sending his remains back to Poland.
I had something different happen to me in school. Kid was not a bully but when my dad was in the hospital when I was in 9th grade he said he hoped he died. This was 27 years ago. I never forgave him. He recently tried to friend me on Facebook. I rejecred it. That is something as a 14 year-old that can scar someone for a long time
Hmmmm, the one's I've bumped into have acted like we were best friends in the brief moments we were passing by on the street or in the store. Always a very unsettled feeling has come over me in these instances.
One negative experience was running into a former bully, she was my cashier at a discount store, she started the conversation off with "Hey, I remember you, you're the girl we used to punch! You look different now". Again, didn't really enjoy that convo, and didn't get an apology either, she just kept reminicing over how awesome it was to beat me as she bagged my items. Off course I stood their nodding along saying "Yeah...." because I instantly reverted back to silent victim mode. Man if I could only see her again I'd handle that conversation much better!
I was picked on a bit in school. In lower school and middle school mostly because I was the oldest, but I was not into the same things the rest of them were. It was an all girl Catholic school and there was much competition among the girls. I was interested in animals and cool photography. Not as much interested in boys' rear ends. I wasn't sure why the rest of the girls cared. I mean, who was I going to attract? I wasn't interested in dating one of them?! My parents were not fashion designers and models like 1/4 of the class were, but again, why should that matter? I suppose that's a stupid question. I can't get my hands on the new cool fads. Still, I just was the awkward girl that just was into her own thing. I was bullied in middle school and lost most of my friends. I didn't fight for them and maybe that was my fault, but they chose to tease me along with my bully so I just walked away. No interest in involving myself with people who thought it was OK to make their friends feel bad. The teachers would stick up for me, but eventually they got tired of it and stopped helping me. They didn't do much to stop the bullying other than offer me support when my bully tried to get me in to trouble. I was NEVER a trouble-maker in school. She didn't know that when she first arrived. Then I left the school. I was then bullied by my 10th grade class along with my English teacher. Lucky me, she became my college guidance counselor later on in 12th grade. She thought I was stupid so she only advised the non-competitive colleges. I applied for all highly competitive colleges I was interested in despite her concerns and got in to all of them but one because I didn't live in that state. I enjoyed rubbing that in her face.
I never heard from any of the girls I had trouble with from grade school. Thankfully, I recently bumped in to another girl from my class during some of the harder times who was nice. I knew her, but just didn't really hang out. I just felt too isolated to try to get along with the nicer crowd. It would have been nice to have them as friends at the time. I made it through, though. My life is pretty good now and I no longer have a fear of other women/girls. Groups of girls I get anxious around, but I'm no longer afraid of meeting individual or small groups of women who are open to talking to anyone.
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