Why do we hate gifted students but love gifted athletes? (boarding school, earnings)
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I don't know about colleges, other than the service academies, specifically looking for leadership, leastwise none that my kids applied to. Some of the private colleges did want to see activities, but not a whole page of them. They always said it was better to do a few things and do them well, than to do everything and not really do anything. Public colleges don't seem to care; they look at grades and test scores.
Maybe "leadership" was the colleges' euphemism for "popularity" when I was applying to college, but wasn't in your day, and maybe not even now.
I was referring to my kids, who I believe are about your age, maybe a little younger.
For some reason, I thought that your daughters were much older than me. Maybe I am wrong. In any case, maybe the use of the term "leadership" was a regional thing, or perhaps unique to the colleges that I applied to. Or maybe it was just bad advice given by my guidance counselor.
For some reason, I thought that your daughters were much older than me. Maybe I am wrong. In any case, maybe the use of the term "leadership" was a regional thing, or perhaps unique to the colleges that I applied to. Or maybe it was just bad advice given by my guidance counselor.
If you graduated from college in 2001, you are five years older than my oldest (assuming you graduated in 4 years), 8 years older than the younger one.
If you graduated from college in 2001, you are five years older than my oldest (assuming you graduated in 4 years), 8 years older than the younger one.
Ok, then I guess I am older than your daughters. So maybe colleges are no longer using "leadership" as a euphemism for "popularity", or maybe it's more common in the northeast, or maybe it was unique to the colleges that I applied to.
who mentioned anything about being persecuted besides you?
And my point was that if people think it's appropriate to talk about accomplishments of their own kid in athletics or the arts, I don't tell them not to do so because my kid happens to not have accomplishments in those areas. Why should academic accomplishments be singled out as being inappropriate to talk about when other areas of achievement are not?
I'm not talking about going on and on in a way that is annoying regardless of the subject, just that the people who post on facebook about their kid's dance competition and soccer games should not also be posting comments that say it makes them so sad when people post about their own kid's grades. Which is a real life situation I've been faced with.
I don't deal with this among my family and friends, but acquaintances, and in various online spaces, yes, I get this collective eye-roll feeling any time gifted or bright students comes up. Usually in the "everyone thinks or wants their kid(s) to be advanced or gifted." Just a general sense of people being annoyed by the topic. Back when I only had my first, sure, I understood that a lot of parents want to think their child is advanced or whatever. When it's your first, everything they do is fascinating and interesting and you want to believe they are right on track or ahead. You lack a frame of reference due to lack of experience and limited sample size that demonstrates variety, nuance and variation. I've been part of dozens of online communities for parents and the attitude toward this topic is generally the same. Even in the "What are your kids doing? What are you proud of?" topics.
As someone else stated, I tend to feel like my sharing my older kids' artistic accomplishments is not as eye-roll-inducing as, say, their academic accomplishments. Both cases showcase an accomplishment or talent, but artistic talent seems to draw less criticism and annoyance. I see this a lot among parents of younger kids. It's cool to me when others celebrate their kids accomplishments, whatever those are. My kids aren't into sports. Older kids sometimes train in BJJ (and second daughter wants to take up fencing) and my second daughter's PE teacher said she has a natural gift and skill for running -- the fastest runner in her school these last two years. They are mostly into the arts. Both are gifted writers and artists. And they also excel academically. But I do find that in situations where advanced development or academics is brought up, the responses tend to shift.
My 3 year old is artistically gifted. She started drawing representationally at 2. I have found that when I discuss her interests or "skills," at this age, it is a very similar to the sighs and eye rolls when topic of academic giftedness comes up. And she's gifted in that area as well. Just like her older sisters, though it manifests in its own unique way. But to share those developments tends to make people uncomfortable or just plain annoyed.
Oddly enough, my second daughter is just all-around talented. Artistically, academically and has amazing athletic ability. She has savant splinter skills. She's also on the spectrum and has SPD.
Also notable is the lack of "Everyone thinks their child has artistic and athletic ability. It's mostly wishful thinking. Most kids are mediocre." I mean, the majority of my mom friends put their kids in sports or dance or gymnastics. No one is ever accused of being a braggart because Junior has mad skills on the field or that Sophia was moved up to pointe (ballet) class at 9-10. We all know that not all kids are athletically talented. My eldest daughter isn't the slightest bit athletic. She's tried swing dance and did really well, but most athletic stuff isn't her thing. And likewise for my second son. He's super clumsy and lacks coordination. No big deal. But I've never been in a discussion on giftedness or academic achievements that didn't have loads of responses in that vein.
Last edited by Metaphysique; 07-22-2018 at 12:02 AM..
I don't deal with this among my family and friends, but acquaintances, and in various online spaces, yes, I get this collective eye-roll feeling any time gifted or bright students comes up. Usually in the "everyone thinks or wants their kid(s) to be advanced or gifted." Just a general sense of people being annoyed by the topic. Back when I only had my first, sure, I understood that a lot of parents want to think their child is advanced or whatever. When it's your first, everything they do is fascinating and interesting and you want to believe they are right on track or ahead. You lack a frame of reference due to lack of experience and limited sample size that demonstrates variety, nuance and variation. I've been part of dozens of online communities for parents and the attitude toward this topic is generally the same. Even in the "What are your kids doing? What are you proud of?" topics.
As someone else stated, I tend to feel like my sharing my older kids' artistic accomplishments is not as eye-roll-inducing as, say, their academic accomplishments. Both cases showcase an accomplishment or talent, but artistic talent seems to draw less criticism and annoyance. I see this a lot among parents of younger kids. It's cool to me when others celebrate their kids accomplishments, whatever those are. My kids aren't into sports. Older kids sometimes train in BJJ (and second daughter wants to take up fencing) and my second daughter's PE teacher said she has a natural gift and skill for running -- the fastest runner in her school these last two years. They are mostly into the arts. Both are gifted writers and artists. And they also excel academically. But I do find that in situations where advanced development or academics is brought up, the responses tend to shift.
My 3 year old is artistically gifted. She started drawing representationally at 2. I have found that when I discuss her interests or "skills," at this age, it is a very similar to the sighs and eye rolls when topic of academic giftedness comes up. And she's gifted in that area as well. Just like her older sisters, though it manifests in its own unique way. But to share those developments tends to make people uncomfortable or just plain annoyed.
Oddly enough, my second daughter is just all-around talented. Artistically, academically and has amazing athletic ability. She has savant splinter skills. She's also on the spectrum and has SPD.
Also notable is the lack of "Everyone thinks their child has artistic and athletic ability. It's mostly wishful thinking. Most kids are mediocre." I mean, the majority of my mom friends put their kids in sports or dance or gymnastics. No one is ever accused of being a braggart because Junior has mad skills on the field or that Sophia was moved up to pointe (ballet) class at 9-10. We all know that not all kids are athletically talented. My eldest daughter isn't the slightest bit athletic. She's tried swing dance and did really well, but most athletic stuff isn't her thing. And likewise for my second son. He's super clumsy and lacks coordination. No big deal. But I've never been in a discussion on giftedness or academic achievements that didn't have loads of responses in that vein.
Thank you. This is point on to the discussion. Kind of the reason I brought this whole thing up is to understand why academic giftedness generates the "eye rolls" but athletic and as you say artistic does not.
I don't deal with this among my family and friends, but acquaintances, and in various online spaces, yes, I get this collective eye-roll feeling any time gifted or bright students comes up. Usually in the "everyone thinks or wants their kid(s) to be advanced or gifted." Just a general sense of people being annoyed by the topic. Back when I only had my first, sure, I understood that a lot of parents want to think their child is advanced or whatever. When it's your first, everything they do is fascinating and interesting and you want to believe they are right on track or ahead. You lack a frame of reference due to lack of experience and limited sample size that demonstrates variety, nuance and variation. I've been part of dozens of online communities for parents and the attitude toward this topic is generally the same. Even in the "What are your kids doing? What are you proud of?" topics.
As someone else stated, I tend to feel like my sharing my older kids' artistic accomplishments is not as eye-roll-inducing as, say, their academic accomplishments. Both cases showcase an accomplishment or talent, but artistic talent seems to draw less criticism and annoyance. I see this a lot among parents of younger kids. It's cool to me when others celebrate their kids accomplishments, whatever those are. My kids aren't into sports. Older kids sometimes train in BJJ (and second daughter wants to take up fencing) and my second daughter's PE teacher said she has a natural gift and skill for running -- the fastest runner in her school these last two years. They are mostly into the arts. Both are gifted writers and artists. And they also excel academically. But I do find that in situations where advanced development or academics is brought up, the responses tend to shift.
My 3 year old is artistically gifted. She started drawing representationally at 2. I have found that when I discuss her interests or "skills," at this age, it is a very similar to the sighs and eye rolls when topic of academic giftedness comes up. And she's gifted in that area as well. Just like her older sisters, though it manifests in its own unique way. But to share those developments tends to make people uncomfortable or just plain annoyed.
Oddly enough, my second daughter is just all-around talented. Artistically, academically and has amazing athletic ability. She has savant splinter skills. She's also on the spectrum and has SPD.
Also notable is the lack of "Everyone thinks their child has artistic and athletic ability. It's mostly wishful thinking. Most kids are mediocre." I mean, the majority of my mom friends put their kids in sports or dance or gymnastics. No one is ever accused of being a braggart because Junior has mad skills on the field or that Sophia was moved up to pointe (ballet) class at 9-10. We all know that not all kids are athletically talented. My eldest daughter isn't the slightest bit athletic. She's tried swing dance and did really well, but most athletic stuff isn't her thing. And likewise for my second son. He's super clumsy and lacks coordination. No big deal. But I've never been in a discussion on giftedness or academic achievements that didn't have loads of responses in that vein.
What a bunch of confirmation bias!
I'm trying to think of a way to respond to the blue that won't get blocked by the filters. To put it mildly, that is untrue. No one? Surely you jest. My kids are grown now, but I knew several families when mine were growing up who were extremely "sports-minded", to the point in a couple of cases where the kids did get college sports scholarships. Other people actually did roll their eyes at these families.
And here, in the middle of the hottest weather of the summer, is an article "above the fold" on the front page of the "local" section of my local Sunday paper titled "Students dive into subjects at Boulder Prep". Lest the name confuse you, Boulder Prep, a public charter (remember the discussion about those?) is a school for at-risk kids according to its website. https://www.bvsd.org/high/boulderPre...ulderprep.aspx
But you said the right words. The OP will use this as confirmation that he's right and those of us who disagree with him are dead wrong.
I'm trying to think of a way to respond to the blue that won't get blocked by the filters. To put it mildly, that is untrue. No one? Surely you jest. My kids are grown now, but I knew several families when mine were growing up who were extremely "sports-minded", to the point in a couple of cases where the kids did get college sports scholarships. Other people actually did roll their eyes at these families.
And here, in the middle of the hottest weather of the summer, is an article "above the fold" on the front page of the "local" section of my local Sunday paper titled "Students dive into subjects at Boulder Prep". Lest the name confuse you, Boulder Prep, a public charter (remember the discussion about those?) is a school for at-risk kids according to its website. https://www.bvsd.org/high/boulderPre...ulderprep.aspx
But you said the right words. The OP will use this as confirmation that he's right and those of us who disagree with him are dead wrong.
I'm referring to the spaces I travel in, not everybody the world over. Since my kids aren't into sports, I've not experienced parents in these very specific spaces, I'm talking general conversations, often centered on young kids, in discussions about development, learning, academics, updates on what kids are doing/what they're into, what parents are proud of.
I'll qualify my statement, I have not seen anyone in these discussions, in specific spaces I travel in, get extra perturbed when athletic or artistic talent comes up, in the way that advanced development or academic prowess does. I wouldn't doubt that extra parents, whether sports, dance/stage, academic, are downright annoying. Those exist in all forms.
The schools my eldest daughter is zoned for prizes sports over academics. There are several like this in my area. Her school is not one of them. It's known for its academics. Both IB schools. It's actually one of the reasons both the middle and high school receive some poor reviews. "They don't have good sports programs. Nerds and geeks rule these schools. It sucks." and "There's no social life." From parents and students.
I've gone to a couple open houses and overheard those super active IB booster parents talking about getting their kid Ivy and top tier ready. This is probably the norm in these circles, and I'm sure I'd think they are annoying at times, if I spent any time with them, but these attitudes are pretty specific to these types of schools. Other schools in the same district lean heavily on the sports side.
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