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People today confuse manners and courtesy with respect. You should treat everyone with dignity, kindness, manners and compassion or at the very least with common courtesy. Should you respect everyone? Respect is giving someone earned regard and admiration for having done something worthy of being respected. You should respect everyones rights but who says you should respect everyone? If its an older person you have to assume they've probably done something worthy of respect. They've lived a long time, raised children, held jobs experienced hardships, possibly fought in wars, helped others. They've experienced life and have something to pass on, knowledge.
A young person may have done something and probably will do something worthy of being respected. But they mostly aren't there yet. So, an older person is generally more worthy of respect than a young person. They've contributed more to society so they should get more consideration.
I know this isn't what you are driving at in this post, but it reminds me of the old shallow phrase, "You have to earn my respect." It's one of those phrases people say without thinking because it sounds cool, but really it betrays a pretty unsavory attitude towards others.
Why? Because when someone says, "You have to earn my respect," what that person is really saying is, "I will only respect you when you do something for me." In other words, its speaker is adopting a transactional approach to his relationships with others. This isn't a good kind of person to be.
I mean, how does one really know squat about the other person to start building respect in the first place? Does one start from a position of polite disrespect? As in humoring someone?
Case in point. There's an old man I know at church. Nice guy, retired attorney in his late 80s. Joe always makes a point of talking to me. We've chitchatted for years.
I suppose I could have treated him like some doddering old man. But I chose not to, for he was a man who has lived life and seen things that I have not. As it turns out, he was highly placed in the Eisenhower administration and played a pivotal role in some of the groundbreaking Civil Rights Era actions in the 1950s. I only learned about this man's accomplishments by reading Taylor Branch's amazing book, "Eyes On The Prize." All these years, I had been chitchatting with a bona fide hero from the early civil rights movement, and I never knew it.
Another man in my neighborhood a few doors down liked to come down the street while I was working in the yard and pass the time of day with some conversation. Mr. Cooper knew my name, my wife's name, and my children's names. He was retired and I had no idea what he did for a living or any other details about his past life. As it turns out, I learned at his funeral that he was a distinguished armored officer under Patton in World War II, had been wounded twice, and went on to write a seminal history of the Sherman tank and its inadequacies. Go into history forums today and you'll see his name bandied about a good deal.
I guess in the "You have to earn my respect" world, one would have waited for these guys to produce some old press clippings before one decided whether or not to respect the guy. And that makes me sad. For the people who have gone before us generally have so much wisdom to impart.
People today confuse manners and courtesy with respect. You should treat everyone with dignity, kindness, manners and compassion or at the very least with common courtesy. Should you respect everyone? Respect is giving someone earned regard and admiration for having done something worthy of being respected. You should respect everyones rights but who says you should respect everyone? If its an older person you have to assume they've probably done something worthy of respect. They've lived a long time, raised children, held jobs experienced hardships, possibly fought in wars, helped others. They've experienced life and have something to pass on, knowledge.
A young person may have done something and probably will do something worthy of being respected. But they mostly aren't there yet. So, an older person is generally more worthy of respect than a young person. They've contributed more to society so they should get more consideration.
I understand manners, politeness, and courtesy, but the lack of respect is something I witness everyday, especially to elders. I respect old and young, but I show more respect to elders. Culturally, I was raised to respect elders and it is something I will teach my kids. IMO, I think this kind of mindset is more common in Americans. I could be wrong, but I live in America and I see this all the time. Respect, to me, is also about position as well.
05-02-2012, 11:45 AM
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Young people vs. Old people and the ages for that could have been more specific because someone being young or old can sometimes be relative depending on the situation.
For this topic and situation, I would say older than 45 years is old, and below 28 years being young, with the other ages in between being middle aged. There seems to be 5 different types of young: Type 1: Age 18 to 28. Type 2: age 14 to 17. Type 3: age 10 to age 13 Type 4: 5 to 9 Type 5: 0 to 4. There is probably 3 different types of old: Type 1: Age 45 to 59 Type 2: 60 to 70. Type 3: 70+.
Respect should be based more on someone’s actions, how they live their lives, and their views and outlook for certain topics and aspects of life.
For the most part, it should not discriminate and be prejudice based on exact age, but there is still a double standard with different expectations for someone based on their exact age, what they are capable of, and how they should be treated with some things.
An older person is more likely to be wise, and more likely worthy of some more respect, but that is still no guarantee since an older person could still be less wise and less smart than a younger person, even if it is less likely.
I'm in the "old" category now! I'm 63...I've learned quite a few lessons in life the "hard way." Yet I don't believe that I "know everything" there is to "know" even though I'm older today...I enjoy spending time with kids because they haven't been totally "socialized" yet. They have "freer minds."..I feel that I have things to learn from people of every age. (Young and old and "in-between!") And I think that we all deserve to be respected and "valued" at every point in our lives...Older people don't want to be viewed as "old gray mares" who should be put out to "pasture."...And kids and younger people don't want to be regarded as "stupid nothings" or "green behind the ears" etc..Why do we always end-up in so many "battles?" There's the "battle of the sexes." And "battles" between the so-called "haves" and "have-nots." ("Class warfare!").. Political parties definitely love to "do battle!" And so do some churches! And of course we have the "battle" between the generations too...What would happen if we decided to stop all of the "battles?" And work on learning how to "get along!" Competition has a place in our society but it can be used in silly and "destructive ways" too!
I'm in the "old" category now! I'm 63...I've learned quite a few lessons in life the "hard way." Yet I don't believe that I "know everything" there is to "know" even though I'm older today...I enjoy spending time with kids because they haven't been totally "socialized" yet. They have "freer minds."..I feel that I have things to learn from people of every age. (Young and old and "in-between!") And I think that we all deserve to be respected and "valued" at every point in our lives...Older people don't want to be viewed as "old gray mares" who should be put out to "pasture."...And kids and younger people don't want to be regarded as "stupid nothings" or "green behind the ears" etc..Why do we always end-up in so many "battles?" There's the "battle of the sexes." And "battles" between the so-called "haves" and "have-nots." ("Class warfare!").. Political parties definitely love to "do battle!" And so do some churches! And of course we have the "battle" between the generations too...What would happen if we decided to stop all of the "battles?" And work on learning how to "get along!" Competition has a place in our society but it can be used in silly and "destructive ways" too!
You have a point. Some people go through their entire lives judging others, seeing how they size up next to someone, seeing what use another person can be to them. We sometimes have this innate sense of competition for everything. I guess the grading system in school starts us out in this mindset and certainly corporate life encourages it.
When I was younger, I was extremely rude to my grandparents - meaning I would throw tantrums and scream at them, just because I was a brat and wanted everything my way. That's because they were more disciplined and wanted to discipline me.
I try to show the same respect to everyone but the respect will go away when they're hostile against me. I'm a very simple person. But for elders, they're an exception. I think what most elders go through, in terms of physicality and health, they are not stronger than most of us, and that's what prompts all the frustration and the crankiness. Most older people may be wiser because it is factual that they have experienced more things in life than we have so far and they can differentiate right and wrong, for the most part.
I was on a bus today almost passenger was an elder, yet most of the younger people didn't go out of their ways to give up their seats, especially those in good physical health. It really saddens me how people are go egotistic about their own good, they have no regard for others. If they themselves had a medical problem, I wouldn't blame them but it shows you how much respect society lacks today. People only think of themselves at all times.
There's an old story about a teacher with over 25 year's experience ... who lost a job promotion to a young teacher with only 2-year's experience. The reasoning was: 'The younger teacher had two year's experience ... while the older teacher simply kept doing the same thing over and over and thus, had the same 1-year experience ... 25 times!
On the other hand, everyone has opinions and unless one lives in a cave, they will learn something and know more about life ... through life experiences that a young person does not yet have. Far too often, the young confuse opinions with knowledge or wisdom (and generally spend the interim years between youth and old age .... learning what they didn't know and how much they have yet to learn.
An older person's 'wisdom' may not be effectively communicated, but, a wise young person will 'listen' and learn from the substance ... and not let delivery style prevent them from learning.
There are old people who wallow in days gone by, thinking that they were always better than today. There are old people who refuse to adjust to changing times, who formed an opinion years back and refuse to change that no matter how the world has proven otherwise, no matter what logic they are exposed to. These people tend to believe that they are always right. They become bitter when others don't agree with them.
Looking at the old people of today (I'm one of them being born in 1931).
We grew up during the hard times and may have experienced things that many from the Post WW11 era have never been thru hard times considering the post war baby boom etc.
Give us a break....your time will come eventually.
As a baby senior citizen (I'm 62...waaalll 63 in a few days), I believe that all people deserve respect just because they are people. I strongly believe that young people need respect because there are just too many who refuse to give it to them, and how they blossom when they get it! For me to claim I deserve more respect than a five-year-old is awfully silly.
However, is it respect we are discussing or simple descent treatment of one human being to another? Isn't common courtesy what we are looking for? Or do you intend reverence or special esteem?
If I came upon one who served in WWII, on the allies' side, I would give them special esteem.
When I see a small child, I am likely to drop to my knees and give them special treatment with laughter.
When I see teens, I love a friendly, respectful chat with them.
When I see one I assume is somehow a needy one in some way, they need attention and deferential treatment -- perhaps, more than anyone else. Why not give it? How much time or face will be lost if I give it?
What I dislike strongly, however, is when people demand respect. In my opinion, those who demand it are the least deserving.
My mother demanded respect, but she had no idea how it give it freely. One day, I had enough when, on the day of my husband's (my daughter's father) funeral, Mother tried to out-talk my my daughter who was asking important questions of me in oour bedroom, as we prepared for that funeral. Mother just talked louder and louder until I called to her to stop because our daughter was speaking.
Mother shouted, "Harumph! Well! I thought adults were more important than children." I probably turned every shade of purple, just knowing my daughter heard her say that.
I informed Mother, through gritted teeth, "Not in my house, they are not!"
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