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I've said this before and i'll say it again; I personally, don't think I can be married, but I adore anyone who does. It's in my personality to be ever-changing and I just don't think someone could change with me (if that makes sense). However long term relationships, co-habitation is ideally for me. No knock on marriages in general. With the assumption of divorce, a breakup just seems less complicated.
Another way of putting it might be,you is sooooo into you everybody else is irrelevant.
Protection against YOU getting (at least) emotionally harmed . Here is a treatise I did on the subject recently ; you may disagree and thats okay. But i think its worth serious 'objective' consideration before One blindly leaps into Cohabitating because it sounds like fun and its a convenient way to skirt around marriage which in itself has some distinct benefits :
1. In a Shackup situation, its the man who clearly has most of the
benefits. (sex anytime, cooked meals, home cleaned, clothes washed, ironing, et al)
2. If the man leaves, the woman has a harder time supporting herself on
her own due to nearly always making less of an income. Her life is
usually sent into upheavel. At least for a time. Its not the same for
the man.
3. If the man leaves, its almost always the woman who feels deserted,
betrayed, used for sex, etc...and due to her emotional makeup as a
woman, she is devastated for a long time to come. Sometimes irrepairably
so.
4. If there are children involved , the Man can easily abandon the
family usually without any legal ramifications whatsoever ; because
marriage never occured , he is not placed in the same class as if he
were married and abandoned his family. He gets off without having to pay
child support leaving the woman in a real financial/emotional bind. Many
times, the Grandparents are imposed upon for support of many types.
5. It whittles away at the sancitity of Marriage which is always best
for a civilized nation. God ordained marriage and is a sacred covenant
; shacking up is not. In a court of law, Shackin up isnt seen in the same light Marriage is (Watch Judge Judy on TV !)
6. It adds to societal degradation thru promoting the philosophy of
using others for selfish reasons .
7. It doesnt develop integrity on behalf of the participants because
usually when things get too difficult and repeated...instead of being
committed to working it out, the door being left ajar is a greater
enticement . Its far easier to do than in a marriage.
8. Fornication is a violation of an absolute moral law and with it comes
plenty of ramifications ; some of which i list herewith. Others which i
have not.
9. Often, a subconscious or overt disrespect toward the woman occurs
in the man because she is often seen as someone not having the required
respect for herself ,which the man appreciates.
10. The participants know, inherently, that its wrong to do but still
choose to suppress their moral consciences to accomodate the fun and
intrique that playing house affords . (at least it does initially).
11. In the event the two get married down the road, the statistics show a greater chance for divorce if they lived together beforehand. Do a google for this info.
12. It sometimes leads to physical abuse because ,inwardly, the man doesnt have the same level of respect as a lifelong marriage partner .
Oh, pulleeeeeezzzzeee! What a load of nonsense!
I'm a big girl, I dont need to propped up emotionally, and neither does any woman I know.
Its this kind of emotional pandering that leads to friction between the sexes.
Oh, pulleeeeeezzzzeee! What a load of nonsense!
I'm a big girl, I dont need to propped up emotionally, and neither does any woman I know.
Its this kind of emotional pandering that leads to friction between the sexes.
I just thought id offer you some objectivity on the Shackin Up game , so if you still decide to do it, at least you wont go into it blind. Ive been there and done that ; tough way to learn for alot of Folks. God has a better plan for your life , as I discovered . Take care.
I just thought id offer you some objectivity on the Shackin Up game , so if you still decide to do it, at least you wont go into it blind. Ive been there and done that ; tough way to learn for alot of Folks. God has a better plan for your life , as I discovered . Take care.
b4 i was a god driven omen guy, everything was a sign from god.everything.
it took an expensive divorce and a one more hard body slam of hot romance and near disaster engagement to tone down.
god does not want me to get run over by a truck.
god did not change marriage law we did that.
god does not want me to stand in front of a truck and hang my head.
for me god now looks like this.
I'm happy that all this crap-talk about marriage has absolutely no bearing whatever on those of us who are happily married.
for the man with the 6 figure job, the people on the street corner are pathetic losers not really people at all.
live forever fortunate friend, i used to be like you.forgive my casting a shadow on your marital affluence.
I'm happy that all this crap-talk about marriage has absolutely no bearing whatever on those of us who are happily married.
Yes, I agree.
However, I still found original post to be very interesting. Interesting point of view. It's very non-conventional and different and I'm not at all surprised that people seem slightly pissed off.
If we read the Bible, people were not getting married for love. Nobody got married for love, it was all arranged from the start. A lot of it for procreation, it was more political then anything else.
The idea of love and getting married for love is fairly new. As well as a monogamy by the way. King David, King Solomon had so many wives. So if we will start quoting the Bible and a Creator, we need to look at all of it, not just one part.
There is a reason why marriage is work. Even if it's not work in the beginning, eventually it will become work. That's why there are so many books written, so many couple therapists on "how to make marriage work".
for the man with the 6 figure job, the people on the street corner are pathetic losers not really people at all.
live forever fortunate friend, i used to be like you.forgive my casting a shadow on your marital affluence.
Ummm... Not really.
The fact is that people who have failed at marriage - for whatever reason - always seem to have a really pissy attitude toward those who haven't.
Anything can happen, but there are a LOT of things we can do to move toward success. Too many people either don't know how to, or aren't willing to do that with marriage.
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What a load of nonsense! 
