Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
But that's the thing. It wasn't a friend, it was an acquaintance. There wasn't anything to work out. He uses his page to express himself and his thoughts. I respect that but I don't want to read it.
I'm sorry but for you to be in college you sound like you're in middle school "I almost sat with him but I'm glad i didn't because I found out later he deleted me from his facebook page" are you kidding me?
I deleted one of my coworkers because all of her status posts were lyrics from various rap songs, which she updated about every two seconds and she never responded to anything, all of her pictures were of little sayings she copied off the internet...but we still talk to each other at work...we occasionally even go to lunch together If I'd gone to work and she suddenly started ignoring me because I deleted her from my FB I would have laughed in her face. Of all the things to obsess over FB is not one of them.
I know he wasn't a friend. I was just using an example.
If someone's not even willing to be an e-friend (which takes no effort), I take that to mean they're definitely not interested in being a real friend. It's just the way I feel. I would feel awkward talking to someone in person if they deleted me on facebook.
maybe your FB friend was just going through her list of "friends" and started with the A's and you were in the beginning of the alphabet.
It was a him. Not that it matters anyway. The point is someone deleted me.
No matter where my name was in the alphabet, he doesn't have very many facebook friends so it wouldn't take long for him to go through his entire friends.
I know he wasn't a friend. I was just using an example.
If someone's not even willing to be an e-friend (which takes no effort), I take that to mean they're definitely not interested in being a real friend. It's just the way I feel. I would feel awkward talking to someone in person if they deleted me on facebook.
And that's where your insecurity is showing. So if someone deleted you from Facebook but then invited you to go to the movies, you wouldn't go because you felt they weren't interested in being a real friend?
I try to keep my facebook friend list under 60; 50 if possible. The whole point of me having one is so I can talk to people I don't see that or get to talk to that often. I've found that if I have too many friend's I can't manage it. I had a girlfriend who posted some pics of her new baby that I didn't see for weeks because they were bogged down by:
"It's hot. I need to wash my car."
"Standing the line at Publix...why is only one register open"
"2 hours till Bad Girls Club Miami!" (and then subsequent countdown posts)
"24 weeks 6 days pregnant i feel so fat"
"It's too hot to wash my car"
Deleting a person from my facebook doesn't mean I completely erase them from my life.
But I guess you place a little more value on your virtual world then I do.
And that's where your insecurity is showing. So if someone deleted you from Facebook but then invited you to go to the movies, you wouldn't go because you felt they weren't interested in being a real friend?
I try to keep my facebook friend list under 60; 50 if possible. The whole point of me having one is so I can talk to people I don't see that or get to talk to that often. I've found that if I have too many friend's I can't manage it. I had a girlfriend who posted some pics of her new baby that I didn't see for weeks because they were bogged down by:
"It's hot. I need to wash my car."
"Standing the line at Publix...why is only one register open"
"2 hours till Bad Girls Club Miami!" (and then subsequent countdown posts)
"24 weeks 6 days pregnant i feel so fat"
"It's too hot to wash my car"
Deleting a person from my facebook doesn't mean I completely erase them from my life.
But I guess you place a little more value on your virtual world then I do.
You must be older than me, so that might be why you use facebook for a different purpose than I do. I am 19 and I know very few 19 year olds that try to keep their friend list under 60. When you're my age, a facebook deletion basically equals getting erased from someone's life. If someone my age deletes a facebook friend, it means they don't want them in their life.
I doubt someone that deleted me from facebook would invite me to the movies. If they did, I would be shocked and I might ask them why they deleted me on facebook. I wouldn't say "why did you delete me?" but I might say "I'd like to go but apparently you don't like me. That's right, I noticed you deleted me on facebook." If they gave me a reason for deleting me and they were willing to become facebook friends again, I might go to the movies with them. If they weren't willing to become facebook friends again but their reason for deleting me was good enough, I might think of accepting their invite to the movies. But like I said, this scenario is unlikely to happen.
There was a time when I had to talk to someone that deleted me because my friend was talking to him. I felt awkward because I was thinking "he clearly doesn't like me for some reason, but I don't know why." The awkwardness is caused by the fact that they don't like me and I don't know why yet I'm being forced to talk to them. My friend introduced me to the person that deleted me then we said we've already met. I was thinking of saying "apparently he doesn't like me" but instead I just tried to leave that conversation as soon as I could and luckily the conversation didn't last long. This person is another example of someone that deleted me then ended up having (another) class with me. We had a class during the first semester, he deleted me over Christmas break probably thinking we would never have another class, then we ended up in a class together during the Spring. Unfortunately, quite a few of my friends met him during the Spring. That hasn't caused any problems yet, but why did they have to befriend him of all people at a college this size? One time I had to sit at the same table as him in the dining hall because that's where my friends were sitting. I didn't speak to him at all and I felt very uncomfortable.
It seems like the people that delete me end up having classes with me and the people that keep me as a facebook friend don't. Funny how that works.
Facebook is full of those statuses you don't like. If it bothers you so much, you shouldn't use facebook. Besides, you must have known your friend was having a baby. You could have gone to her profile to see the pictures sooner. Not everyone posts stuff for you and only you. I don't get why you're so upset that people post statuses that weren't specifically meant for you. If they wanted to post something for you and only you, that's what your wall is for.
Last edited by city_data91; 08-08-2010 at 04:14 PM..
You must be older than me, so that might be why you use facebook for a different purpose than I do. I am 19 and I know very few 19 year olds that try to keep their friend list under 60. When you're my age, a facebook deletion basically equals getting erased from someone's life. If someone my age deletes a facebook friend, it means they don't want them in their life.
I'm not that much older than you and when I was 19 Myspace was the big thing but even then we didn't carry on like this. By the time facebook came along we'd been through being friends on just about every social networking website there was and found that it very rarely had any effect on our "real" relationships. When I was in college the "extra friends" were just so we could keep up with what was going on. For example, I was Facebook friends with a Kappa just so I would know when the Kappa parties were. Somewhere along the line, he deleted me. I didn't even know until someone asked me if I was going. I didn't jump online to confirm he deleted me, nor did I spend months, days, minutes, hours or seconds agonizing over why he deleted me. I just started planning what I was going to wear to the party. I saw him at the party and he was friendly, I had no reason to snub him because he erased me from his facebook.
However, if everything you've said is representative of 19-year-old then I guess I'll have to say teenagers are a lot stupider now then we were at that age. Not to mention insecure and socially retarded.
Quote:
Originally Posted by city_data91
Facebook is full of those statuses you don't like. If it bothers you so much, you shouldn't use facebook. Besides, you must have known your friend was having a baby. You could have gone to her profile to see the pictures sooner.
I do like facebook but when I don't like certain statuses (keep in mind that doesn't mean I don't like the person) I delete them so i can still enjoy the website without the constant aggravation. And my friend had her baby early. I checked her profile around her due date to see if she'd updated her wall lately and that's when I saw the pictures.
Quote:
Originally Posted by city_data91
Not everyone posts stuff for you and only you. I don't get why you're so upset that people post statuses that weren't specifically meant for you. If they wanted to post something for you and only you, that's what your wall is for.
There's a difference between upset and annoyed; as a college student it might behoove you to learn the difference.
And when I log in my news feed shows everyone on my friend's list who has updated their account regardless if the comment was meant for me or not.
But like I said, we will never see eye to eye on this because you take your virtual life very seriously. Good luck with that.
Location: Los Angeles>Little Rock>Houston>Little Rock
6,489 posts, read 8,814,543 times
Reputation: 17514
Quote:
Originally Posted by city_data91
I view facebook as an online extension of the real world. If someone's not even willing to do something so easy as being my friend on facebook, it's clear that they don't like me. If we can't even be friends on facebook, you obviously don't want to be friends in real life.
I don't see it that way nor does anyone else I know. I "unfriended" my niece because she often used bad language in her updates. It didn't bother me much, but there were other more mature friends of mine that would be put off seeing those updates. I told her mother (my sister) that I did that and she laughed and said she wished she could unfriend her own daughter. I still love my niece, but don't need to be involved in the minutiae of her day-to-day life.
I seem to recall you having issues with people using the "ignore user" feature on this website. It is not quite the same, but similar. It is not always a personal affront to ignore or unfriend someone.
I'm not that much older than you and when I was 19 Myspace was the big thing but even then we didn't carry on like this. By the time facebook came along we'd been through being friends on just about every social networking website there was and found that it very rarely had any effect on our "real" relationships. When I was in college the "extra friends" were just so we could keep up with what was going on. For example, I was Facebook friends with a Kappa just so I would know when the Kappa parties were. Somewhere along the line, he deleted me. I didn't even know until someone asked me if I was going. I didn't jump online to confirm he deleted me, nor did I spend months, days, minutes, hours or seconds agonizing over why he deleted me. I just started planning what I was going to wear to the party. I saw him at the party and he was friendly, I had no reason to snub him because he erased me from his facebook.
However, if everything you've said is representative of 19-year-old then I guess I'll have to say teenagers are a lot stupider now then we were at that age. Not to mention insecure and socially retarded.
I do like facebook but when I don't like certain statuses (keep in mind that doesn't mean I don't like the person) I delete them so i can still enjoy the website without the constant aggravation. And my friend had her baby early. I checked her profile around her due date to see if she'd updated her wall lately and that's when I saw the pictures.
You might have a different perspective since you've been on so many social networking sites. I've just been on facebook and formerly myspace (city data is not exactly a social networking site, so I don't count city data). Plus facebook is the big thing so being facebook friends means more than being friends on friendster.
What it all comes down to is I would rather never be friends with someone at all than become their friend and get deleted. It's not always better to have loved and lost. Sometimes it's better to have never loved at all. I know love is not relevant in this case, but I thought that saying was fitting.
I'm guessing you're about 24. Myspace was invented in 2003 but it didn't become popular until 2005.
You might have a different perspective since you've been on so many social networking sites. I've just been on facebook and formerly myspace (city data is not exactly a social networking site, so I don't count city data). Plus facebook is the big thing so being facebook friends means more than being friends on friendster.
What it all comes down to is I would rather never be friends with someone at all than become their friend and get deleted. It's not always better to have loved and lost. Sometimes it's better to have never loved at all. I know love is not relevant in this case, but I thought that saying was fitting.
I'm guessing you're about 24. Myspace was invented in 2003 but it didn't become popular until 2005.
Well I hope as you get older your perspective changes. Sometimes people do things that have nothing to do with you at all...imagine that!
Quote:
Originally Posted by maggie2101
I don't see it that way nor does anyone else I know. I "unfriended" my niece because she often used bad language in her updates. It didn't bother me much, but there were other more mature friends of mine that would be put off seeing those updates. I told her mother (my sister) that I did that and she laughed and said she wished she could unfriend her own daughter. I still love my niece, but don't need to be involved in the minutiae of her day-to-day life.
I seem to recall you having issues with people using the "ignore user" feature on this website. It is not quite the same, but similar. It is not always a personal affront to ignore or unfriend someone.
same here. I have a younger cousin and he might say something funny and I'll comment on it but then his friends would come along with a bunch of cussing and hieroglyphics and I'd get the updates (yes I know that you can request not to get the updates but in some cases I like them especially in a post between mutual friends) so I deleted him. Not because he'd done anything wrong or because I no longer wanted him to be my cousin but because it was something I didn't want to deal with. I doubt he sat in his room crying because I deleted him.
I don't see it that way nor does anyone else I know. I "unfriended" my niece because she often used bad language in her updates. It didn't bother me much, but there were other more mature friends of mine that would be put off seeing those updates. I told her mother (my sister) that I did that and she laughed and said she wished she could unfriend her own daughter. I still love my niece, but don't need to be involved in the minutiae of her day-to-day life.
I seem to recall you having issues with people using the "ignore user" feature on this website. It is not quite the same, but similar. It is not always a personal affront to ignore or unfriend someone.
I don't understand what you're trying to say. How would your friends see those updates? They only show up on your news feed.
Yes, I had an issue with the ignore feature. I think it's rude to ignore, just like it's rude to unfriend.
There's a difference between upset and annoyed; as a college student it might behoove you to learn the difference.
And when I log in my news feed shows everyone on my friend's list who has updated their account regardless if the comment was meant for me or not.
But like I said, we will never see eye to eye on this because you take your virtual life very seriously. Good luck with that.
I know it shows everything even if it wasn't meant for you. What I was trying to say is not everything is meant for you and it will show up on your news feed regardless. You shouldn't complain about that stuff showing up on your news feed because that's just how facebook works.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If I'd gone to work and she suddenly started ignoring me because I deleted her from my FB I would have laughed in her face. Of all the things to obsess over FB is not one of them.