Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I lurked here for along time before I decided to post. Probably because of all the negativity. But I see a lot of young parents posting here who I figure are just plain tired. It doesn't take too much reading between the lines to figure out who is a single parent or who gets no help from their spouse. There is a lot of venting and there are a lot of parents who are at their wits end because they don't know how to cope with a problem or a child causing a problem.
There are some wonderful people here. Some who are miles away from my philosophy of raising children but who make me laugh. There are a few people I am very glad I don't live next door to.
Maybe we SHOULD have more positive threads. I'll start:
My sons are all wickedly smart, better looking than George Clooney, changed their own diapers, and never gave me a moment's worry. Do you buy that? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
the point is mostly to ask for support or answers to questions/problems you are having. On the rare occasion that someone starts a thread just to say something positive, there just isn't much to say about it.
When people do post anything positive about their kids we wind up being accused of bragging. So I stopped posting about how great my kids are because other people really don't want to hear about it. They would rather hear about the brats.
I lurked here for along time before I decided to post. Probably because of all the negativity. But I see a lot of young parents posting here who I figure are just plain tired. It doesn't take too much reading between the lines to figure out who is a single parent or who gets no help from their spouse. There is a lot of venting and there are a lot of parents who are at their wits end because they don't know how to cope with a problem or a child causing a problem.
There are some wonderful people here. Some who are miles away from my philosophy of raising children but who make me laugh. There are a few people I am very glad I don't live next door to.
Maybe we SHOULD have more positive threads. I'll start:
My sons are all wickedly smart, better looking than George Clooney, changed their own diapers, and never gave me a moment's worry. Do you buy that? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
Ya' know, I did the same thing when I became a member of CD...the Relationship forum wax's and wane's with negative threads so I started the "What did you do that made you happy" thread...the first one was closed because it exceeded the post limitations and another one has been started...people like to have something to celebrate in life...
Ya' know, I did the same thing when I became a member of CD...the Relationship forum wax's and wane's with negative threads so I started the "What did you do that made you happy" thread...the first one was closed because it exceeded the post limitations and another one has been started...people like to have something to celebrate in life...
I started a thread about Loving Sisters not too long ago and got lots of nice comments. So I know posters like happy stories too.
I think most posters feel they need to not sugarcoat the problems they are having with their kids and this come over as quite negative. But when somebody else starts to say someting unpleasant or derogatory about the kid then the parent gets aLL defensive. That is when the fists fly and undercuts can get nasty. But we all know some posters who seem to delight in stirring up the waters with the most mean and outrageous comments. They hide behind their screens to really hurt others and can be quite cruel.
When people do post anything positive about their kids we wind up being accused of bragging. So I stopped posting about how great my kids are because other people really don't want to hear about it. They would rather hear about the brats.
You are so right. I can't even say my child is advanced for her age verbally If you complain about your kids people respond with "Oh she never says aything nice about her kids." You talk about what they are doing well and you get "Oh you think your child is advanced but she's really not." You can't win.
When people do post anything positive about their kids we wind up being accused of bragging. So I stopped posting about how great my kids are because other people really don't want to hear about it. They would rather hear about the brats.
Yes because they can sit behind their computers and make fun of the parent and pat themselves on the back.
I think there are posters who are overly sensitive, they ask for advice but then don't want to hear it if it is even remotely negative. Then all the pointing fingers, you're a poopy head stuff starts.
No parent is perfect, we all make mistakes. No child is perfect (yes, that includes your little angel but some parents don't want to accept that.
I think someone mentioned earlier that it is easy on an internet forum to vent to strangers than in real life. I know, for me, I have been nastier than usual because I can spot the Moms that drove me up a wall for 20 years from a mile away. Because I couldn't tell them exactly what I thought of them then, I do it now. Mature and correct? No.
I also think there are a lot of us old time Moms can take a step back and see how different kids are being raised now and genuinely feel bad for some of the kids we read about here. I know I do, at least.
I think there are posters who are overly sensitive, they ask for advice but then don't want to hear it if it is even remotely negative. Then all the pointing fingers, you're a poopy head stuff starts.
No parent is perfect, we all make mistakes. No child is perfect (yes, that includes your little angel but some parents don't want to accept that.
I think someone mentioned earlier that it is easy on an internet forum to vent to strangers than in real life. I know, for me, I have been nastier than usual because I can spot the Moms that drove me up a wall for 20 years from a mile away. Because I couldn't tell them exactly what I thought of them then, I do it now. Mature and correct? No.
I also think there are a lot of us old time Moms can take a step back and see how different kids are being raised now and genuinely feel bad for some of the kids we read about here. I know I do, at least.
You know, that's a good topic -- how children are being raised differently. What are the reasons? Changes in society, in the children, parents? Or did parenting really change a generation ago, and we are now reaping what we sow? Is different synonymous with bad? But I think that would turn negative also.
Some people may be oversensitive depending on their situation. For instance, a single parent who gets little or no support, or all criticism and no support, may be sensitive to more criticism. Even on an internet forum. Or the parent who thinks he or she is doing it right and doesn't want to hear any differing opinions.
I don't do everything right; no parent does. But I strive to do my best and to improve.
I will say this: some "golden" rules are not absolute. A child raised well, lovingly and with boundaries can still turn out to be a criminal or a difficult adult. A child raised badly can turn out to be a good, productive member of society. It's more than just parenting, IMO. Parenting is a strong foundation, but personality, existence disabilities, environment outside the home all play a role in how a child will end up as an adult. A child can end up being who he or she is not only because of your efforts but also despite your efforts.
When people don't realize that there is more than one way to accomplish a goal, then walls are put up, beliefs are clutched tightly and the conflict begins. Of course, some things are clearly wrong, but I'm talking about the gray areas.
Long answer to a short question.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If you complain about your kids people respond with "Oh she never says aything nice about her kids." You talk about what they are doing well and you get "Oh you think your child is advanced but she's really not." You can't win.
