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Of course you should educate your kids and of course just because one discourages teens having sex under your roof will not keep them from having sex elsewhere...BUT....I can certainly set the standards for what is appropriate in my home. The OPs question was relative to teens having sex in the parent's home...(while they were there!) not that they thought the daughter was having sex (IIRC they already suspected/knew that was going on).
Absolutely and I agree with you. I was sort of responding to other posters as well as the OP. I don't personally parents should condone or provide a love nest for their teenagers under their roof. I'm cool with knowing what may be going on, but I don't want it thrown in my face.
hehe, that's just about what I was about to say. You think daughter's room is bad wait till its your bed, your couch, the kitchen table, on the pool table, in the pool, in the yard, etc. teenagers will do it anywhere.
Public amusement parks, movie theaters, stairways, bathrooms, I work in the school system-I know!
hehe, that's just about what I was about to say. You think daughter's room is bad wait till its your bed, your couch, the kitchen table, on the pool table, in the pool, in the yard, etc. teenagers will do it anywhere.
Public amusement parks, movie theaters, stairways, bathrooms, I work in the school system-I know!
I remember being 17 and doing it on the kitchen table and silently giggling the next night when people were eating dinner .
LOL i love parents who think they are soooo close to their kids that they would know everything they did. "I would know if they had sex....belive me"
Hmmm...well some of us actually may have. Both of my kids approached me for help obtaining birth control when they became sexually active. Then again, I had already imparted the crucial knowledge to them before it came to that point, and they knew I was there to guide and help them, not try to be some sort of raging controlling parent. They may have already had sex before coming to me, but from what they tell me now (they're both grown) they say they always felt comfortable coming to me for help.
but at the moment of truth tells you to pull it out when you're close.
Isn't it ironic
I find it quite frightening and utterly stupid that you are using "pull it out" as a contraceptive method. Not only that, but that you aren't protecting yourself from STDs. Idiocy.
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80
Say opps and walk out the door *shrugs*. All the co worker is going to do is ensure she will continue to do it anyway with that attitude.
I disagree. While it doesn't make sense to attempt to enforce rules where you have no control, you can't be an enabler who creates chaos (which is exactly what parents who allow precocious drinking, precocious sex and other experiments with adulthood are doing) and you do have control in your house. The boy leaves immediately. "No, you may not have a minute to put your clothes on. Get out now and be very careful if you ever come back." After he's gone, take a minute to get back to rational and have a discussion about birth control while removing your daughters door from the hinges.
Kids are going to buck the rules and you have to pick your fights, but after they are out from your immediate supervision the rules that you have imposed are still there whether they are honored or not. When the kids are into their twenties and working on a career, the parents' discipline "comes home to roost". If there was never any discipline from the parents then the children will have to learn personal discipline the hard way and many never do. To me, the important thing is not that the kids are constantly under parental control, but that they understand that there are boundaries, there are consequences and that those boundaries should be respected even if they are not strictly adhered to. In other words, you need to teach your kids to at least know when they are f---ing up.
You're not doing that if precocious sex in your house is just fine. Of course, you're not providing a stable parental authority if you fly off the handle and have an emotional fight saying hurtful things either.
I disagree. While it doesn't make sense to attempt to enforce rules where you have no control, you can't be an enabler who creates chaos (which is exactly what parents who allow precocious drinking, precocious sex and other experiments with adulthood are doing) and you do have control in your house. The boy leaves immediately. "No, you may not have a minute to put your clothes on. Get out now and be very careful if you ever come back." After he's gone, take a minute to get back to rational and have a discussion about birth control while removing your daughters door from the hinges.
Kids are going to buck the rules and you have to pick your fights, but after they are out from your immediate supervision the rules that you have imposed are still there whether they are honored or not. When the kids are into their twenties and working on a career, the parents' discipline "comes home to roost". If there was never any discipline from the parents then the children will have to learn personal discipline the hard way and many never do. To me, the important thing is not that the kids are constantly under parental control, but that they understand that there are boundaries, there are consequences and that those boundaries should be respected even if they are not strictly adhered to. In other words, you need to teach your kids to at least know when they are f---ing up.
You're not doing that if precocious sex in your house is just fine. Of course, you're not providing a stable parental authority if you fly off the handle and have an emotional fight saying hurtful things either.
Being a parent is about balance...if you calmly explain that while she might be having sex youd prefer that she didn't in the house due to whatever reason you can think then that is fine. If you humiliate your daughter and her bf and now make an issue about trust you will just ensure she does the opposite of what you want her to do. Now if you had done it already and she still did it then you are free to punish her. And enabling is different than understanding they are going to do it. Knowing your child might bring friends over and have a beer is different then buying him a key and playing beer pong with him.
I would not Punnish my Kid or Call the Police. If you do that then your Kid will hate you When it come to love let your Kid have the Freedom to fall in Love.
If i Caught my kid having Sex Then I will Talk to him and that other person about Sex on other things related to the Issue. I will just talk to my kid about it thats all I will do.
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