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And if you can't respect your parents' rules, then it's probably time to stop sponging off of them. People who act like grownups get grownup privileges. Scumming off your family for room and board as an adult is NOT acting like a grownup.
If you want to be an autonomous adult, pay your own way like an autonomous adult.
I agree he can have all the rules he wants and if his children live with them they need to abide by them. The point i was making there was i think there is more to this tale then what the OP is telling us.
I agree he can have all the rules he wants and if his children live with them they need to abide by them. The point i was making there was i think there is more to this tale then what the OP is telling us.
You're probably right about that. These situations are never as simple as they seem.
You're probably right about that. These situations are never as simple as they seem.
Of course, and in this case it is obvious since the first post the only issue was the child was sleeping at his gf's house, but after a few people challenged him on this notion then it altered to the child being very disrespectful and him tightening the noose is only because of that.
My responses in this thread were directed towards the members who were telling the OP to kick the son out to live with girlfriend's parents. Some people actually fall for extreme advice given in the parenting forum. I felt someone needed to provide a voice of reason by saying DON'T LISTEN TO THAT ADVICE, don't expect the girlfriend's parents to take care of your son. I've seen way too many people do that IRL with their sons and daughters.
My post was not directed particularly at you. It just seemed that the thread had veered off in that direction, with people claiming the parents were "Kicking the kid out" on the street, and others disagreeing with that approach.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ohiogirl22
The majority are yes but at my school the majority where single sex. Co-ed where by floor and after 2am you where not allowed to have opposite sex visitors in your room. After 11pm you had to escort opposite sex visitors throughout the building.
My kids' schools had co-ed floors, and visitors were allowed during certain hours. Of course, none of these type of rules are totally enforceable without a gestapo-like atmosphere; most operate on the honor system.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes
Once we were adults, my sisters and I had lots of boyfriends sleep over. It was more for logistical reasons: They were college boyfriends who were visiting from out of town. But they were not permitted to sleep in our bedrooms. We didn't even ask. Goodness! We KNEW we weren't allowed to sleep with our boyfriends. We weren't allowed to have boyfriends even upstairs when we were growing up! But our parents were realistic when we were much older adults and recognized non-married relationships. If we lived with a partner, they certainly didn't make us sleep in separate rooms as when we were visiting.
That is the approach I have had with my daughters as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by detshen
It's not just about him sleeping at someone else's house, the poster has stated it's a respect issue, he seems to be disrespectful in may ways. I don't think his parents care if he sleeps at a friends house, but if he's going around talking about how he is sleeping at his girlfriends in the same bed that is disrespectful to his parents who have different values. It sounds like he treats his parents poorly, that's very immature, and he needs to leave so he can properly grow up. Maybe you will understand when your kids are older that you must treat them according to how mature they act, not just their age. From what I have read this is about an 18yr old who needs to learn adult respect, it's not about sex or control.
I didn't have any rules after I turned 18, but I didn't need any, I understood basic human respect for other people. I respected my parents, probably because they demanded it my entire life, they never spoiled me. If I was going to be out very late or all night I would call so they didn't worry (they never had to ask me to do that), I never flaunted sex because I knew that would upset them. I bought all my own clothes, personal items and a lot of food. I also worked and went to school. I acted like an adult, not a rebellious teenager so I deserved to be treated like an adult, if I had acted disrespectful to my parents they would have rightly asked me to improve my behavior or leave.
I would also say the girl's parents are naive if they think there is no sex going on. Maybe not intercourse, though that's hard to believe. When I was helping my daughter pack up her apartment one time, I found a T-shirt of her boyfriend's in the bedroom. She said they just shared a bed. A few months later, I found an empty Nuva-ring package under her bed. Hmm!
Good grief. I was not allowed to sleep with my BF who I was living with at age 35 at my parents house, we had separate rooms...that was what worked for them. I respected their rules, even at age 35. So, if this does not work for you, then tell your son he needs to make other arrangements.
Good grief. I was not allowed to sleep with my BF who I was living with at age 35 at my parents house, we had separate rooms...that was what worked for them. I respected their rules, even at age 35. So, if this does not work for you, then tell your son he needs to make other arrangements.
And if you can't respect your parents' rules, then it's probably time to stop sponging off of them. People who act like grownups get grownup privileges. Scumming off your family for room and board as an adult is NOT acting like a grownup.
If you want to be an autonomous adult, pay your own way like an autonomous adult.
Yes - that's the right definition of "autonomous adult", just having sex in your parent's house doesn't make one an autonomous adult. Living on your own, paying your own bills does. Mooching off the parents like an 8 year old, letting them pay your housing costs is just living like an 8 year old.
Good grief. I was not allowed to sleep with my BF who I was living with at age 35 at my parents house, we had separate rooms...that was what worked for them. I respected their rules, even at age 35. So, if this does not work for you, then tell your son he needs to make other arrangements.
Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80
That's freaking ridiculous lol.
Or my parents who were infuriated to learn I was sleeping over at my GF's when I was 27 (not married yet)!!!! And I was living on my own, own job, renting own apartment, etc.
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