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If breast feeding is somehow supposed to create this unique bond.... How do you explain the closeness of a father to his children? My dad was my best friend. We were too peas in a pod and he sure as heck didn't nurse me. He also wasn't very "huggy". Oh, and we never discussed my periods. (Sorry. Couldn't resist.)
I am not saying that breastfeeding is the only way of bonding.
I think that you are right that a lot of people look down on EPing. At least EPing by choice. Most people I have known who have gone the EP route have not done it by choice, but because their baby couldn't latch, and they really wished that they could breastfeed directly and really hated EPing. But I think that a lot of breastfeeding activists see them as rock stars because EPing is really hard. What is harder to understand is EPing by choice, because EPing is so hard and it seems like the hardest of both worlds. It's all the hardest parts of breastfeeding without some of the nicest advantages. I think that people react to EPing by choice (or breastfeeding just for food), because they feel that it perpetuates another misconception - that breastfeeding "should" be just about the milk - which can have a lot of negative effects on breastfeeding in general.
Yes, it IS hard. I dealt with the worst points of breastfeeding and bottle-feeding. LOL As I said, I went the EP route by choice because my son didn't latch very well. And frankly, no matter WHAT people would have ever said, I would have never felt comfortable nursing in public. Never. So I doubt I would have gone anywhere. That was a self-esteem issue for me.
I will say it was depressing to find out the pumping wasn't good enough for some people. I can buy the arguments the say breastmilk is best or whatever. But I don't think anyone, including lactation experts, need to be concerned about my lifestyle. Honestly, the nerve.
And I'm not directing that toward you because I don't think you are that way. But really - I don't get people who want to be overly involved with folks they hardly know.
For feeding one's children - providing nutrients, not necessarily for bonding. That is a pretty recent philosophy. There are many many ways to bond with one's child.
For all the single dads out there who are indeed raising babies off of formula, I bet they have tremendous ways to bond.
I know my sons & dh have a very special bond. I can't even explain it.
Well...I always have to share my daughter's story on these threads. We adopted her at 10mths old from a poor orphanage in Central Asia. My daughter had been taken off formula at 4mths old, there just wasn't enough to go around so they gave it to the newborns only. At 4mths they started her on pureed watery beef stew in a bottle and watered down tea oh and fruit juices (!).
At 6.5 she's in the 98% for height, she's a straight A student working at least a year above grade level, she's never had a cavity (even with all that juice!) and the pediatrician sees her once a year for her well-check. I think she had a cold at some point a year or so ago but otherwise she's as healthy as they come.
I was breast fed until I was 2 and have permanent hearing loss from all the childhood ear infections I had, have terrible allergies (including food allergies), and struggled with recurring pneumonia and asthma as a child.
Now I don't post this to sing the praises of beef stew for babies or to denigrate people who breast feed, my genes are probably just worse than my daughters, but my children have taught me that kids are super tough and perhaps the tiny difference in health benefits just doesn't matter all that much in the grand scheme of life.
Well...I always have to share my daughter's story on these threads. We adopted her at 10mths old from a poor orphanage in Central Asia. My daughter had been taken off formula at 4mths old, there just wasn't enough to go around so they gave it to the newborns only. At 4mths they started her on pureed watery beef stew in a bottle and watered down tea oh and fruit juices (!).
At 6.5 she's in the 98% for height, she's a straight A student working at least a year above grade level, she's never had a cavity (even with all that juice!) and the pediatrician sees her once a year for her well-check. I think she had a cold at some point a year or so ago but otherwise she's as healthy as they come.
I was breast fed until I was 2 and have permanent hearing loss from all the childhood ear infections I had, have terrible allergies (including food allergies), and struggled with recurring pneumonia and asthma as a child.
Now I don't post this to sing the praises of beef stew for babies or to denigrate people who breast feed, my genes are probably just worse than my daughters, but my children have taught me that kids are super tough and perhaps the tiny difference in health benefits just doesn't matter all that much in the grand scheme of life.
How interesting that story is. I have a friend who was adopted from a Columbian orphanage and she told me she had chicken soup in her bottle. The theory was it made the babies chubbier.
Of course men are obsessed with breasts.
The #1 reason to encourage the wife to breast feed is
so you don't have to get up in the middle of the night to feed the kid.
Her breasts. Her responsibility.
Boys, you get the breasts back when the kid reaches 1 or 2 or perhaps 7 or 12 if you believe the other thread on this.
I don't expect you to understand being that you haven't had the same experience with it as I have. I realize that you and others may think it is silly or pathetic or whatever that I have attached such meaning to it. But I was asked why I am passionate about the topic, and I am trying to explain what it has meant in my life and with my children. Of course there are worse things that could happen to me than to not be able to breastfeed a future child. There are always worse things that could happen it seems. Being on the edge of the "special needs" parenting community for the past few months has certainly shown me that it can always be harder than what I'm going through. But I can tell you, whether you think it's silly or stupid or pathetic or what, that it really would be devastating to me. Just as it was to the mothers who I mentioned before (the one who had to be treated for cancer and the one whose baby was born with a cleft palate) - when they lost their breastfeeding relationship with their children, it was another heavy blow, in addition to the already difficult medical situations they were in. This is not something that I expect for anyone to understand who hasn't nursed a child, or who hasn't nursed for more than just the food.
So because of your own insecurities in your parenting you think your way is the correct way? It truly does sadden me that you think the true bond between a parent and child is through breastfeeding. Please don't look down on the rest of the world just because you can't parent any other way than some completely regimented and pre-planned lifestyle brought upon by irrational fear.
When I had my first child almost 16 years ago I was all set to BF, and tried and tried and tried. I could not get him to latch. He cried and screamed most of the time. I called LL and asked for help--they said whatever you do, keep trying every hour and do not expose him to any other nipple (pacifier, bottle). I visited a consultant at the dr's office who said I was doing everything right, he just didn't seem interested in latching, but to keep at it.
By the time I took him to his 2 week checkup the dr was ready to admit him to the hospital for IV nutrition unless he gained in the next two days. I got a pump and started using that and feeding him from a bottle as well as still offering the breast, but once he got that bottle it was all over. He started gaining weight and I kept pumping, but after another 3 weeks I got a nasty case of mastitis and eventually I ran out of pumped supply for him one night and cracked open the formula. He thrived.
With sons 2 and 3 I nursed a day or two, but again, neither they (nor I) were very interested, and they were both formula fed. It did not stop me from holding them ALL the time, and I also have to add that my husband really enjoyed being able to cuddle the babies while feeding them, and I do think it contributed to THEIR bonding experience.
I know the benefits of breastmilk--however, I also know those first 5-6 weeks with son 1 were filled with (needless) anxiety and pain on both our parts. He would not have been so miserable those first few weeks if I had just started with a bottle. I would not have felt so anxious and guilty and horrible if just one "expert" in those first days had said "It's okay to use the bottle, and even formula, because you and your baby need to be healthy, satiated, and calm now." I should have followed my gut, which was to feed him (motor oil or beef soup if need be) and not be so concerned where it was coming from.
As an aside, son 1, the only one to have had any quantifiable amount of breastmilk, is also the only child to wear glasses, have ear tubes and have his tonsils and adenoids out. Is this the fault of my breastmilk, and my other kids' better health due to the formula? I don't think so. Or if it is, I guess it's good I didn't BF them as well so as to spare them these troubles! ;-)
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or to denigrate people who breast feed, my genes are probably just worse than my daughters, but my children have taught me that kids are super tough and perhaps the tiny difference in health benefits just doesn't matter all that much in the grand scheme of life. 
