Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think you're jumping to conclusions again. What does renting have to do with anything? Plenty of highly educated, wealthy people find that it makes more sense -- including financially -- to rent, not own. And being a good parent does not require home ownership. Sorry, bit of a tangent, but that really irked me. (that's coming from someone who rents, has a graduate degree, is well-traveled, and has no plans on buying anytime soon. I enjoy the freedom it offers, among other benefits.)
Of course it's okay for someone in their 20s not to have immediate plans to have kids. It's also fine if you NEVER want to have kids, or if you choose to have them next year. Whatever works for YOU. And I think the average age of first-time mothers is hovering somewhere around 26 (or maybe 25?) these days, so you're VERY normal.
I still don't understand why their comments are bothering you so much. Why does it matter what they think? You're not going to change their minds, so why not just concentrate on not letting it bug you? Where are you meeting all these people, anyway? Supplement with some new friends and you should start to feel normal in no time.
Ok, without these two parts your post would have gotten across just fine, but now I can't help but to notice that everyone getting snippy just so happens to have "MOM" or "MOMMY" in their username lol.
If anything, I do understand that some people don't wish to go to college or have a career. They are ok with renting an apartment for the rest of their lives and living paycheck to paycheck,etc. They may not ever want to travel (like I do) and they may not have interest in a home. I think it's great that they are so laid back about life and would almost like to wish that I was THAT relaxed. I just could never do that, but I realize we all have different personalities. For the last time, it's about people not understanding that it's ok for a 25 year old woman to have no immediate plans to get married or reproduce.
I'm not the one asking them "So why did you get married so young, start having babies, never finish college or have a career?" Why? I'm not really concerned. I just felt like, it is what it is, although I do think, for the most part, it sucks because most of my peers really aren't financially stable or progressive in their careers, but again--it does not hurt me.
The questions here are "So, why aren't you married and why don't you have babies yet?" Uhm, who's worried about whose life again? lol
Just sayin'.
Well, that's like the pot calling the kettle black!
Your first post sounded pretty snippy AND pretentious;and all subsequent posts sounded pretty much the same ~ if the poster didn't happen to agree with your opinion.
Please. It's not like you are the only woman in the world who waited to have babies; the others just don't spend time making fun of those who choose to have them earlier.
"Just want to pop out babies and stay at home" is not normally laudatory phrasing. "Just" connotes a lesser choice-- a lack of ambition, if you will-- and "pop out babies" and "a fad" is not only casually dismissive but carries more than a simple note of disdain.
Were I a Dr Phil junkie I would suggest that your extreme antipathy might be masking envy. But (leaving aside for the moment whether or not even a stopped clock is right twice a day) I think Dr. Phil's an idiot.
I have spoken like this before because I think some people DO have kids for the very wrong reasons and without getting in to a long discussion about it, because I'm truly not that interested, I will assure you, I am absolutely not envious. I have zero desire to have kids, have never had the desire to have kids and when I spend time around friends that have kids, when I go home, I'm so thankful I do not have kids.
And, typically, whenever I say or write something like that, most people assume I hate kids. No, I do not. I actually get along very well with kids, I just do not want to have any and I have no envy whatsoever.
Bing Cherry: GatorMama is not because I'm a mama. It's because of where I used to work. I used to take care of the alligators, cleaning their pens and pools. When we got some new baby alligators for the small pen, they got to know me well and since I also fed them, when I did walk in to their pen, they used to follow me all around. People started calling me GatorMama, hence the name. I've moved from FL now though so I should probably come up with another name...if I can figure out how on earth one changes their user name on CD.
Anyway, any "mommy" feelings I may have ever had, (which I never did), was taken care of by taking care of animals. Whether it be gators, dogs, cats, rats, birds, guinea pigs or fish, that was all I needed. It's just never been something I've wanted to do.
My background: My biological mother had 5 kids by the time she was 21. Her first child was at 14. I was by 17. It didn't work out well. At. All. The bio father was military but that was not enough to support that many kids, especially that young. Neither of them had a good education. NOW that everyone is grown, the bio mom is a surgical nurse and seems to be doing well but she went through hell in her early years because of her poor choices. (And yes, kid by 14 and 5 by 21 is indicative of poor choices.)
So, I was adopted. Middle class family all about the education.
I've seen what works and what doesn't work. IF I had ever decided to have kids, I would have waited because I would never want to worry about finances or not have an education to fall back on should something happen in the relationship with the father. If that didn't work out and I was on my own with kids, I would hope that I have an education so that I can earn some good money to raise those kids right. It's not disdain, it's thinking that some people really are not planning ahead for possibilities.
Nonetheless, if they are TRULY happy, then bravo. Unfortunately, I know too many who are not and wished they would have waited.
OH, and I wanted to add: speaking of people getting offended...I actually used to find it very offensive when people kept asking me when I was going to get married and have kids as if that was all I was put on this earth to do. I still get asked this and I think it's a little personal to be asking for one and two, there is more to me than the possibility of producing kids. And I'm really tired of people acting like there's something wrong with me because I don't want them..."Oh, you hate kids?" And I have indeed been asked, "What's wrong with you?"
If anything, I wonder if people are actually jealous of me because they push the whole baby and marriage thing so much and look at me funny when I say "No, I want to complete my education and at least have a down payment for a house..etc." I practically feel like they are pressuring me to be a f*** up like they were.
Let the riot continue lol.
You don't know anything about any of us. Two people you put down for using the term "mom" have turned out to be moms to animals. Now it's true that most, but not all, people who post on this forum have kids. I have two. I had them at ages 34 and 38, not young. I had a degree and 13 years of a career, and a house before I had my kids. So no, not all of us are jealous of you.
Regarding you being a f***up like us, you really need an attitude adjustment.
You don't know anything about any of us. Two people you put down for using the term "mom" have turned out to be moms to animals. Now it's true that most, but not all, people who post on this forum have kids. I have two. I had them at ages 34 and 38, not young. I had a degree and 13 years of a career, and a house before I had my kids. So no, not all of us are jealous of you.
Regarding you being a f***up like us, you really need an attitude adjustment.
Oh jeez I honestly think you're searching for a reason to be offended. Wouldya calm down, breathe and READ CAREFULLY please?
Last edited by luckynumber4; 07-05-2011 at 06:04 AM..
Reason: Hangovers are the worst
I don't think that a degree is the only way to go. I do know people without one that went way further in life than most everyone I know, but they are not as common. I guess I was just wondering how these people could be working at 7-11 and Pizza Hut and purposely trying to get pregnant or having kids, then consistently turning around to ask me why I'm not married or why I don't have kids.
::snipped for brevity::
If anything, I wonder if people are actually jealous of me because they push the whole baby and marriage thing so much and look at me funny when I say "No, I want to complete my education and at least have a down payment for a house..etc." I practically feel like they are pressuring me to be a f*** up like they were.
Let the riot continue lol.
See, you had me pretty much agreeing with you on the first paragraph (though you've expanded the parameters significantly since the OP). It's the self-congratulatory "I wonder if people are jealous of me" bit that gives problems. It's okay to be pleased with oneself for making what seems to be a wiser decision. It's not okay to expect applause every time you appear to choose wisely-- and the spirit of a previous post, this is something I see more often with "kids these days".
Originally Posted by LeavingMassachusetts
She said she has a license, not a degree.
Yes. I walked in off the street and just bought my nursing license. No degree needed. Forgot that's how it works.
Yes. I walked in off the street and just bought my nursing license. No degree needed. Forgot that's how it works.
Maybe some of you DO need to go back to college. Wow. I'm not one to tell people they MUST go to college, but I don't think it would hurt a few of you. Scary.
I expect LM is drawing the distinction between an AA/As, which is referred to in many schools as a "certificate" or a "vocational program" (and which many nurses carry), and a BA or BSN. In that sense, and acknowledging the nurses who still carry certificates from three year schools (which, while not degree programs IME turned out far better nurses, but I digress), no degree is needed.
Just wanted to say good morning to my fellow f*** ups!
Morning! I am off to do my daily rummage of the trash cans and get some breakfast!!!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I honestly think you're searching for a reason to be offended. Wouldya calm down, breathe and READ CAREFULLY please?
No degree needed.
Forgot that's how it works.
