Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Haggardyourself: I can't say I'm a fan of Gloria Steinem, although she's done good things. You know, society is formed with people like you and me: unique individuals. I've never felt my mom was in any way inferior because she was a SAHM with her college education. My dad set the standard high for me to find a good family man to marry as they both are very kind and would do anything for their families!
I don't get why I have any obligation to do paid work: I am married, we are debt free and don't collect from the government! My personal life is personal and is not, and should not be a threat to working women in any shape or form.
I don't get why I have any obligation to do paid work: I am married, we are debt free and don't collect from the government! My personal life is personal and is not, and should not be a threat to working women in any shape or form.
I don't think anyone said you have an obligation to do paid work.
It was bandied about by some that contributing to society, which can be done in many ways without having a job, is desirable (which I agree with and if I read your volunteer stuff right, you do too).
I also don't know that anyone said anything to indicate that they felt threatened by your choices. As for your personal life being personal, you did put this issue out on a forum and complained you weren't being praised or appreciated for your choices. You could say you were flying us all to Tahiti in a chocolate airplane and someone on the forum would find something to disagree with - it's the nature of the beast. If you don't want opinions from both sides, then don't post it is my rule of thumb.
Haggardyourself: I can't say I'm a fan of Gloria Steinem, although she's done good things. You know, society is formed with people like you and me: unique individuals. I've never felt my mom was in any way inferior because she was a SAHM with her college education. My dad set the standard high for me to find a good family man to marry as they both are very kind and would do anything for their families!
I don't get why I have any obligation to do paid work: I am married, we are debt free and don't collect from the government! My personal life is personal and is not, and should not be a threat to working women in any shape or form.
OK, are you now implying that those who work are not individuals?
Eastwest: No, but when I keep reading comments on here that read "women fought for our rights, why are you a housewife?", it feels like they feel I am letting down feminists or something! Just to clarify. Again, I never said I personally needed praise, but I clearly am being disrespected by some people. I was talking about the study of how SAHMs are depressed nowadays. Actually I watched Dr Drew talk about this and how he feels society should praise at home moms and even make statutes in their honor! I agree they should be praised at least by their husbands and respected by others. Being a mom is the most important job in the world. And I care because I have empathy for others. You wouldn't believe the comments I hear where I live about other moms choosing to stay home when they have a baby. Their husbands also tend to put them down for not having a paid job, ugh!!
Rkb: No, you're twisting my words again. I said society are made up of individuals.
Eastwest: No, but when I keep reading comments on here that read "women fought for our rights, why are you a housewife?", it feels like they feel I am letting down feminists or something! Just to clarify. Again, I never said I personally needed praise, but I clearly am being disrespected by some people. I was talking about the study of how SAHMs are depressed nowadays. Actually I watched Dr Drew talk about this and how he feels society should praise at home moms and even make statutes in their honor! I agree they should be praised at least by their husbands and respected by others. Being a mom is the most important job in the world. And I care because I have empathy for others. You wouldn't believe the comments I hear where I live about other moms choosing to stay home when they have a baby. Their husbands also tend to put them down for not having a paid job, ugh!!
Rkb: No, you're twisting my words again. I said society are made up of individuals.
I don't know - I do have children and I am a SAHM, not a housewife, and I have never received comments like the ones you are talking about. I'm not sure who these SAHMs are who need defending from feminists. Most of the SAHMs I know ARE feminists.
As for comments about being a housewife, I haven't read anything on this thread about that being a feminism issue - the posters who seem to take issue with it seem to be saying it's a contributing to society issue, which is something different. I don't particularly care what anyone does with their life just as long as they own it and it doesn't hurt others.
As an aside, I would take anything Dr. Drew says with a big grain of salt - it's like listening to Dr. Phil or any of the other pseudo-professionals who choose to make a living in the media eye rather than helping patients or advancing the field through research and teaching. But that's just my opinion as a mental health professional, so take that with a grain of salt, too.
ETA: Do you have the link to the article on depressed SAHMs? I would be interested to read it.
Last edited by eastwesteastagain; 09-16-2011 at 09:40 PM..
Eastwest: No, but when I keep reading comments on here that read "women fought for our rights, why are you a housewife?", it feels like they feel I am letting down feminists or something! Just to clarify. Again, I never said I personally needed praise, but I clearly am being disrespected by some people. I was talking about the study of how SAHMs are depressed nowadays. Actually I watched Dr Drew talk about this and how he feels society should praise at home moms and even make statutes in their honor! I agree they should be praised at least by their husbands and respected by others. Being a mom is the most important job in the world. And I care because I have empathy for others. You wouldn't believe the comments I hear where I live about other moms choosing to stay home when they have a baby. Their husbands also tend to put them down for not having a paid job, ugh!!
Rkb: No, you're twisting my words again. I said society are made up of individuals.
no, you said "like you and me" referring to yourself and another housewife (SAHM). Whatever... I find it interesting that all of a sudden I'm hearing that SAHM's are made to feel like they aren't important, when I've heard so many times that working moms are the "bad" ones who don't care enough about their kids. If anything, working moms are the ones who are looked down upon.
And... you aren't a mom, so the argument doesn't apply to you.
I don't know - I do have children and I am a SAHM, not a housewife,
I think that's interesting! Are you married?
I think of myself as a SAHM and a housewife. Because I am married and not working outside the home which qualifies me as a housewife, and because I am a mother and I do not work outside the home which means I'm a sahm. I also often refer to myself as a homemaker. On forms and things you often see homemaker, or that is the option, so it has kind of stuck. I'm a lot of other things, too, that aren't related to mothering or being a wife or running a household... but for the purpose of this thread I'll at least attempt to stay on topic (what is the topic again? )
Anyway - it's interesting that you say you're a sahm but not a housewife if you are also married. Would you mind explaining that a little more?
... all of a sudden I'm hearing that SAHM's are made to feel like they aren't important, when I've heard so many times that working moms are the "bad" ones who don't care enough about their kids. If anything, working moms are the ones who are looked down upon.
Both camps - WM's and SAHM's and even WAHM's - have a really bad history and tendency to bad-mouth whatever camp they don't belong to. I have to admit that even though I try very hard not to talk crap about people I don't know personally... and I try to respect people and not pass judgment... I have at times done exactly that - passed judgment on working moms when I saw something slip through the cracks that shouldn't have because she or dad were too busy working and not paying attention. Especially when volunteering as much as I have done at the schools... it's easy to spot the kids whose parents work a lot and aren't giving their kids their full attention. I try to be understanding and not pass judgement but sometimes I do slip up.
I know that's wrong of me, but I'll own up to the fact that I do catch myself doing that from time to time. And pretty soon (hopefully - fingers crossed) I'll be a working mom and I'm sure things will slip through the cracks once in awhile because I'll be too distracted or preoccupied with work, and some sahm who is more focused on her children will call me out on it, or at least notice it and pass judgment on me. It's just how things are.
As for comments about being a housewife, I haven't read anything on this thread about that being a feminism issue - the posters who seem to take issue with it seem to be saying it's a contributing to society issue, which is something different. I don't particularly care what anyone does with their life just as long as they own it and it doesn't hurt others.
Ding ding ding!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
) 
