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What I'm seeing is people who say "no, no waxing an 11 yo" and the people who seem to think that means "let your daughter walk around with hair hanging out of her bathing suit."
I don't think anyone is saying the later. Maybe the OP should have been titled something else so the discussion that followed would have been about the business of selling adult salon services to children instead of about waxing!
I don't know...I think I would be a little skeeved by a parent that is frequently checking the shaved/not shaved state of their daughter's bikini area.
On an aside (not related to the above post), my reason for protesting the labeling of waxing or shaving as hygiene is that it makes it seem like something necessary. It really isn't. It's fashion, and that makes it a choice. Believe it or not, some women don't WANT to wax or shave...some of these posts are phrasing it as something you have done TO your daughter, not something she decides on for herself. And I find that, frankly, to be a little disturbing.
Yeah, exactly, its not something you check and enforce.
It's one thing to smell your childs breath to see if they have been smoking or drinking but its another to have your kid drop trou to inspect if they have shaved something you don't approve of.
Personally its one thing to tell your kids no to something like staying out late or watching movies they find inappropriate and its another to control what they can shave.
In a minors position, my mindset would be "who's vagina is it? who has to deal with it all day?". IME I was pretty upset at 11-13 when I had to bleed onto a pad all day and wasn't allowed to use tampons. I was pretty pissed my mom took it upon herself to make a decision like that for me when she didn't have to deal with what I was feeling.
I say this as an example of forcing someone to do something based on what you think they should do instead of what makes them comfortable.
I'm not making this about me when I say this but nothing freaked me out more than being completely helpless when it came to that stuff and I, as a future parent will never inflict that onto my future daughters.
That shouldn't be done to a person, if they are of the mental state to not like something about their body and want to change it they should be allowed to change it. Whether it be shaving, plucking, tampons, fixing a cosmetic defect(as long as the family can) and appearance.
You have to put yourself into that persons shoes and try to see how that makes them feel instead of inflicting your own selfish ideals upon them.
What I'm seeing is people who say "no, no waxing an 11 yo" and the people who seem to think that means "let your daughter walk around with hair hanging out of her bathing suit."
I don't think anyone is saying the later. Maybe the OP should have been titled something else so the discussion that followed would have been about the business of selling adult salon services to children instead of about waxing!
For starters, a man would never be placed in charge of a bikini wax for an 11 year old, it would be a woman who probably couldn't give a damn to oogle someones childs nether regions.
And second of all the same people who say no to that would probably be opposed to an 11 year old shaving that area too.
Honestly, no one wants to have it or see it poking out of a swim suit.
There was a girl who ran track and we all wore track shorts, THEY WERE EXTREMELY SHORT AND FORMFITTING. She had that **** growing down her thighs, its not like it was easy to miss because it stuck out of her track shorts it was the most disgusting thing anyone had ever seen.
For starters, a man would never be placed in charge of a bikini wax for an 11 year old, it would be a woman who probably couldn't give a damn to oogle someones childs nether regions.
And second of all the same people who say no to that would probably be opposed to an 11 year old shaving that area too.
Honestly, no one wants to have it or see it poking out of a swim suit.
There was a girl who ran track and we all wore track shorts, THEY WERE EXTREMELY SHORT AND FORMFITTING. She had that **** growing down her thighs, its not like it was easy to miss because it stuck out of her track shorts it was the most disgusting thing anyone had ever seen.
Did you even read what I wrote? At all?
You could not have misunderstood my point any more if you tried. You said exactly the opposite of the point I was making.
For starters, a man would never be placed in charge of a bikini wax for an 11 year old, it would be a woman who probably couldn't give a damn to oogle someones childs nether regions.
And second of all the same people who say no to that would probably be opposed to an 11 year old shaving that area too.
Honestly, no one wants to have it or see it poking out of a swim suit.
There was a girl who ran track and we all wore track shorts, THEY WERE EXTREMELY SHORT AND FORMFITTING. She had that **** growing down her thighs, its not like it was easy to miss because it stuck out of her track shorts it was the most disgusting thing anyone had ever seen.
It's hair. Much like the hair that grows on your head. I promise you that your eyes will not burst into flames should you catch sight of it.
Again, fashion standards are NOT universal. "No one wants to have it" is a false statement. Policing others bodies and trying to shame them into compliance with fashion standards is a rotten thing to do. I KNOW it happens- but that doesn't make it okay, and the message given to young girls shouldn't be 'pluck, shave, wax, and preen because your body is ugly and has to be fixed.' Especially not from their mothers.
At the vet hospital where I worked I saw trauma cases with broken bones and exposed organs. They were far more disgusting a sight than hair growing where hair naturally grows.
It's hair. Much like the hair that grows on your head. I promise you that your eyes will not burst into flames should you catch sight of it.
Again, fashion standards are NOT universal. "No one wants to have it" is a false statement. Policing others bodies and trying to shame them into compliance with fashion standards is a rotten thing to do. I KNOW it happens- but that doesn't make it okay, and the message given to young girls shouldn't be 'pluck, shave, wax, and preen because your body is ugly and has to be fixed.' Especially not from their mothers.
At the vet hospital where I worked I saw trauma cases with broken bones and exposed organs. They were far more disgusting a sight than hair growing where hair naturally grows.
It's hair. Much like the hair that grows on your head. I promise you that your eyes will not burst into flames should you catch sight of it.
Again, fashion standards are NOT universal. "No one wants to have it" is a false statement. Policing others bodies and trying to shame them into compliance with fashion standards is a rotten thing to do. I KNOW it happens- but that doesn't make it okay, and the message given to young girls shouldn't be 'pluck, shave, wax, and preen because your body is ugly and has to be fixed.' Especially not from their mothers.
At the vet hospital where I worked I saw trauma cases with broken bones and exposed organs. They were far more disgusting a sight than hair growing where hair naturally grows.
I agree with most of what you have written. I don't think there is any reason that a girl should be TOLD she has to shave hair that occurs naturally on her body no matter where it grows. It's not "disgusting". It's not dirty. It's just hair.
However, there is a flip side to that. Some girls (probably most girls) eventually decide that they want to remove some of their body hair. For some girls it may be driven by the beauty industry. But I can honestly say that for me, it was just an issue of not thinking body hair was feminine. It had NOTHING to do with sex or the beauty industry. I am 46.
Of course waxing is not the only way to remove hair (I have NEVER waxed). But I often hear mothers of girls say that they don't want their little girls to grow up to fast. I can respect that by there is nothing a parent can do to prevent a girl from PHYSICALLY growing up. If she is growing hair in places she does not want to grow hair then she is not TRYING to grow up, she IS growing up.
I think that mothers do need to deal with the beauty industry and help their girls understand the motives of those who would like to make money off of women's insecurities. But I also think that we can make to much of a simple thing like not wanting to be hairy just because a girl does not like that look.
I just went back to re-watch the video. It was clear that it is just marketing to create an larger client base. Girls will want to do what they are exposed to, what their mother's do, and what their friends do. It does seem that these things are being started at earlier and earlier ages. It is not for me to judge what another family decides is right for their child. I would not spend my money on it, and like others have said when your child can afford to pay it is her choice to be waxed.
And second of all the same people who say no to that would probably be opposed to an 11 year old shaving that area too.
Many of the people opposed to waxing, like me, have said that it's the expense, invasiveness, and "message" (e.g., "At 11 this is something that is normal and expected of you") that are inappropriate. Most of us seem to have no problem with adolescent girls shaving. I would probably object to my daughter using depilatory in the bikini area until I felt comfortable that she could use it without hurting herself. It's easy enough to burn the skin with it, and the genital area is not the kind of place you want to have that pain.
But anyway, I am fine with shaving. Not with waxing.
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