U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-05-2012, 09:12 AM
 
14,253 posts, read 15,332,749 times
Reputation: 13682

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by WesternPilgrim View Post
Day 1-2: This should be dad's job. Put the child in her bed, and have dad pull up a chair by the bed. The girl will cry, but dad can gently place his hand on her from his chair and tell her to lay down. He can keep talking to her while she lays there, saying anything at all, or even singing. If she gets up, he immediately puts her back down. If she gets up again, she gets spanked (not in anger, and just enough to sting a little) and put down again. Repeat as needed until she goes to sleep.
Hitting a toddler to get them to go to sleep

What are you? Some kind of neanderthal?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-05-2012, 09:16 AM
 
35,108 posts, read 40,230,180 times
Reputation: 62050
My, my , my, things have drastically changed since I was a child and since my children were that age. My Mother put us to bed and we stayed there and went to sleep and that was the end of that. I did the same things with my children and none of them are neurotic or have sleep issues and they do the same thing with their children.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-05-2012, 09:18 AM
 
12,156 posts, read 9,881,349 times
Reputation: 15809
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaggy001 View Post
Hitting a toddler to get them to go to sleep

What are you? Some kind of neanderthal?
Can you imagine going from sleeping with Mom and Dad to one day go to bed <whack>?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-05-2012, 09:24 AM
 
32,532 posts, read 30,656,328 times
Reputation: 32347
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaggy001 View Post
Hitting a toddler to get them to go to sleep
And multiple times. Until it works. And it has to sting.

I feel very, very sorry for the children this "technique" is used on. (Though the fact that the father is the one who is supposed to be doing this it's obvious it's also about Dad teaching the kid "you will obey me!" Major power trip on Dad's part, IMHO.) Personally, I think there's better ways to teach obedience than a stinging whack on the butt when a stressed, tired child is trying to sleep. The child doesn't learn how to go to sleep by himself. What he learns is to have fear that Dad is going to hit him if he doesn't obey. Dad stays in the room ready to spank him if he gets out of bed? Yech. Poor kid is probably clutching his pillow hoping Dad just leaves him alone.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-05-2012, 09:29 AM
 
4,267 posts, read 5,310,464 times
Reputation: 3579
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
And multiple times. Until it works. And it has to sting.

I feel very, very sorry for the children this "technique" is used on. (Though the fact that the father is the one who is supposed to be doing this it's obvious it's also about Dad teaching the kid "you will obey me!" Major power trip on Dad's part, IMHO.) Personally, I think there's better ways to teach obedience than a stinging whack on the butt when a stressed, tired child is trying to sleep. The child doesn't learn how to go to sleep by himself. What he learns is to have fear that Dad is going to hit him if he doesn't obey. Dad stays in the room ready to spank him if he gets out of bed? Yech. Poor kid is probably clutching his pillow hoping Dad just leaves him alone.
Yep. Totally agree. Hitting a tired child who is having a hard time going to sleep seems cruel.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-05-2012, 09:57 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,253 posts, read 41,828,694 times
Reputation: 83080
Quote:
Originally Posted by Missingatlanta View Post
Yeah co-sleeping is a no go for us. She is a very wild sleeper. When she does sleep with us, she usually ends up with her head at the end of the bed and in some crazy position. I believe she has very active dreams because she moves a lot while she is sleeping.

Thanks for the all the input. I'm going to research the Ferber method more.
Also, I would advise having her get a lot of physical activity in the later afternoon, right after dinner if possible. I have multiples, and there came a time when they were this age and up to ages 3 and 4 that we would just take them in the backyard and say, "Ok, now run to the fence as fast as you can! Now run back to me!" over and over as long as they wanted to. Little kids have a LOT of energy, and burning some of that off before bed really helps.

Maybe just play a really active game of hide and seek inside or if you wrestle a little bit with them and get them to spend a bit of that energy before the bath/book/bedtime routine begins. The goal is to keep from using YOU as a pacifier.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-05-2012, 10:06 AM
 
12,156 posts, read 9,881,349 times
Reputation: 15809
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorthy View Post
Yep. Totally agree. Hitting a tired child who is having a hard time going to sleep seems cruel.
And utterly needless and ineffective.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-05-2012, 10:08 AM
 
14,253 posts, read 15,332,749 times
Reputation: 13682
I always find that routine is very important. If bed time is at 7pm or at 8pm then that is when they go. A story is also a good routine. Once a young child gets into the routine then there is rarely any problem getting them to go. Now, if they are not ready to sleep then that is okay. With our three year old grandson we simply say that he can read his books or play in bed but there is no getting up. The routine has to be adhered to. Sometimes he will play longer than other times, sometimes he will ask to go to the bathroom or for a drink of water to try to extend his time. But he is still in bed. Generally, he will be asleep within half and hour. We don't stress about it and we don't stress the child either.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-05-2012, 10:28 AM
 
3,517 posts, read 5,668,736 times
Reputation: 5581
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorthy View Post
Yep. Totally agree. Hitting a tired child who is having a hard time going to sleep seems cruel.
Hmm, I'm pro-spanking but this seems like the totally wrong time to use it. I think a light spank is great for an older child who is putting themselves in danger by willfully defying you, like a 4 year old who thinks it's hilarious to run into the street when you turn your back. But a toddler learning how to feel safe and content enough to sleep alone? No, not the time at all.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-05-2012, 10:34 AM
 
4,267 posts, read 5,310,464 times
Reputation: 3579
I remember reading somewhere that getting outside early in the morning and soaking up that early morning sunlight for 20 minutes or so helps set the body's sleep clock and natural sleep wake cycle. Keeping the lights low and electronics off in the evening can also help.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top