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Wait a minute, that makes no sense. You are about 40 now? So you have been supporting your "elderly, retired dependent" parent and your deadbeat unemployed sibling for 25 years? I doubt you can blame 25 years of abject destitution on the dot com or housing bubbles. Ever get the feeling you are being used?
I am older than 31 and younger than 35 (I'm not going to give an exact age, due to Internet privacy reasons).
I don't feel that I am being used. My family was relatively poor financially while I was growing up, and so I had to "pull myself up by the bootstraps", so to speak -- work hard, get good grades, work very hard for years to advance my professional career, etc., to the point where I am now very blessed to be successfully working in an upper-middle-class profession and career. My dependent parent went above and beyond as a parent (a long story that I will not get into here), to raise my sibling and I while we were growing up, and made many sacrifices, so I just see my role in helping them as repaying the favor. As to my sibling's case, they are and were not deadbeat; they just had many years of required extended advanced schooling, due to their chosen career and profession, and now that they have successfully completed their education requirements and are working, they are no longer dependent. Lastly, the dot-com and housing bubbles wiped out several hundreds of thousands of dollars in my family's financial assets and savings, so the amount of financial resources that was lost was not insignificant by any means.
Absolutely true. These weren't issues for previous generations. Times have changed vastly, the cost of living is ridiculous.
It really is and I know so many people who moved back home to save money. I even know people who are professionals with good jobs who will live at home until they marry. I can think of quite a few of these examples, people making fantastic money who see no purpose in moving out. While those are extreme we do live in unsteady times where people lose houses left and right.
Sadly, I don't think many get the problem. In my field it is increasingly becoming freelance or going overseas (or done by visaed workers)and this is the case in many jobs. It is expected that many more fields will go overseas with technology such as video improving. In fact I know lawyers and accountants who lost their jobs to overseas workers. I think it is going to become a situation where everyone lives at home until marriage then the spouse moves in, like they do in third world countries (and where the USA is headed).
It really is and I know so many people who moved back home to save money. I even know people who are professionals with good jobs who will live at home until they marry. I can think of quite a few of these examples, people making fantastic money who see no purpose in moving out. While those are extreme we do live in unsteady times where people lose houses left and right.
Sadly, I don't think many get the problem. In my field it is increasingly becoming freelance or going overseas (or done by visaed workers)and this is the case in many jobs. It is expected that many more fields will go overseas with technology such as video improving. In fact I know lawyers and accountants who lost their jobs to overseas workers. I think it is going to become a situation where everyone lives at home until marriage then the spouse moves in, like they do in third world countries (and where the USA is headed).
I think there are also some cultural factors at play here as well. If you have a background that is strong Italian or virtually anything east of Italy, it is actually very normal for adult children to live near or with their parents until they marry. If they never marry, they stay there. There is one Italian family and a Jewish family in my neighborhood that has the same setup. This is also normal with some farm families in America and Americans with family businesses especially car dealerships.
In cultures outside of America, it generally isn't "18 and out" ... generally you're their kid for your entire life.
Furthermore, as I explained on another thread, this is how ethnic people get ahead. They pool resources. The American myth of pulling yourself up by the bootstraps has some merit, but for most people you never rise above being a wage slave.
Last edited by EnzyteBob; 01-26-2013 at 02:06 PM..
I think there are also some cultural factors at play here as well. If you have a background that is strong Italian or virtually anything east of Italy, it is actually very normal for adult children to live near or with their parents until they marry. If they never marry, they stay there. There is one Italian family and a Jewish family that has the same setup. This is also normal with some farm families in America and Americans with family businesses especially car dealerships.
In cultures outside of America, it generally isn't "18 and out" ... generally you're their kid for your entire life.
Furthermore, as I explained on another thread, this is how ethnic people get ahead. They pool resources. The American myth of pulling yourself up by the bootstraps has some merit, but for most people you never rise above being a wage slave.
Very true. Every single Italian man I have known (whether dated or not)still lived with his mother if he wasn't married. I have gotten a lot of flack because I am interested in a 50 year old guy who lived with his mom but I think part of it is because of the ethnicity (he is Italian and Mexican). Another part is because they run a business together, she is elderly and he sees no reason to move out.
Very true. Every single Italian man I have known (whether dated or not)still lived with his mother if he wasn't married. I have gotten a lot of flack because I am interested in a 50 year old guy who lived with his mom but I think part of it is because of the ethnicity (he is Italian and Mexican). Another part is because they run a business together, she is elderly and he sees no reason to move out.
If you work in a family business, it also limits your dating opportunities both because of the hours you work and your limited interaction with dateable prospects. Also, there is something to be said about how compatible someone who is his own boss is with someone who works in a cubicle.
Haha, those are exactly the same kind of houses the noveaux rich Chinese in Malaysia are building. Zero taste. These businessmen also like to go out to nightclubs and have red wine....with coke.
Yeah, the ones in Vancouver are tacky. They might have a lot of brick, bay windows, and all the bells and whistles, but for some reason, they reek of tackiness and bad taste. Worse yet, the neighbors who had probably been there a long time didn't like that these extended families didn't speak English and did not integrate themselves into the neighborhood by keeping to themselves.
Hilarious. For my unmarried cousins in Italy, those who got good jobs or had to relocate within Italy for work, they live on their own. For my unmarried cousins in Italy who did not, they live at home.
This is evident more recently in Vancouver BC. When Chinese money started arriving in Van, the long-time inhabitants on streets with modest 1-story homes were in an uproar that extended Chinese families in Vancouver would buy a small home, tear it down, and put up a "yin and yang" symmetrical 2-story blob of a McMansion with the necessary pair of "good luck" lions at the entry walk or porch.
I guess my search engine was too PC for "Chinese house Vancouver." This is the best I could do, but imagine a very ornate version of the one on the right, with brick or stone, and the lion statues:
In the Balkans what they often do is build upward, adding floors as their offspring get married. In America, some children do move out if they get good jobs, others stay at home and bank all their money. It's hard for an ethnic guy to meet someone compatible in America in my experience because people just don't understand these little quirks.
But like I said, even American families that have a family business tend to stick close together just because of the dynamics of working together. That doesn't necessarily mean that they live in the same house, but they do tend to live near each other and interact more.
Haha, those are exactly the same kind of houses the noveaux rich Chinese in Malaysia are building. Zero taste. These businessmen also like to go out to nightclubs and have red wine....with coke.
Are you kidding with this... I couldn't imagine something more nasty....
Back to topic.
Barring any kind of cultural differences, in America, it is customary for adults to be out on their own at some point, again, also barring parental care taking duties, etc etc....
How does one describe that occupation? "Lion house statue sales rep?" I don't see the demand for these in Van abating. Probably pretty recession proof work.
Yes, but that culture would be hard to marry out of, and hard to marry into.
There's a black guy in my subdivision who has one of those on his front porch. I'm not joking.
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