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The young woman may have never associated with anyone before, except for those her own age. She doesn't know yet about the rules for adult behavior. Think about how difficult it may be for someone who hires her. Not only will she require job-training, but life-training, as well. That's why part-time jobs are so important for high-school students. I think it's an essential part of their upbringing.
The young woman may have never associated with anyone before, except for those her own age. .
Impossible.
Unless her parents never had friends over, she never interacted with teachers and counselors at school, she was never part of an athletic team, etc.
Treating adults with respect usually starts with the "Yes, sir, No, ma'am" of meeting your friends' parents. Even my 4 year old knows this.
First mistake…you spoke to the mother and set the appointment. You should have just let her give your number to the daughter.
Second mistake…you wasted your time and waited for her. I don't care who it was. If you were worried about your sister you could have e-mailed/texted her and told her how irresponsible and disrespectful this girl was and that you were leaving.
Hopefully you learn from this. Maybe you should show this thread to your sister and the mother.
The girl will have to learn about life on her own. By not saying anything about her behavior you are not doing her any favors.
First mistake…you spoke to the mother and set the appointment. You should have just let her give your number to the daughter.
Second mistake…you wasted your time and waited for her. I don't care who it was. If you were worried about your sister you could have e-mailed/texted her and told her how irresponsible and disrespectful this girl was and that you were leaving.
Hopefully you learn from this. Maybe you should show this thread to your sister and the mother.
The girl will have to learn about life on her own. By not saying anything about her behavior you are not doing her any favors.
Yes. This. I am sure the OP will give the daughter another chance.
It's like all those obnoxious parents who bring things to sell for their kids' school or scouts or activities to work.
I always 100% buy whatever a kid is selling but only if the kid approaches me himself or herself.
I do the same, and always compliment the kid for how well they did their pitch (even if they struggled through it) to give them some encouragement to keep going.
Yes. This. I am sure the OP will give the daughter another chance.
Nope. And, by the way, I'd like to point out why I remained at that coffee shop a full hour. It certainly wasn't to give the girl a second chance.
As I stated in my OP, I was in transit between two appointments in a different part of town from my office. Rather than return to my office, I was camping out there answering e-mails and making calls anyway. So I would have been at that location regardless of whether she showed up or not.
I think my mistake was calling to find out where she was. I only did that because I know the mother. Had that been a normal business situation, I would have simply said, "Sorry. You lost your window. Good luck in your search."
Nope. And, by the way, I'd like to point out why I remained at that coffee shop a full hour. It certainly wasn't to give the girl a second chance.
As I stated in my OP, I was in transit between two appointments in a different part of town from my office. Rather than return to my office, I was camping out there answering e-mails and making calls anyway. So I would have been at that location regardless of whether she showed up or not.
I think my mistake was calling to find out where she was. I only did that because I know the mother. Had that been a normal business situation, I would have simply said, "Sorry. You lost your window. Good luck in your search."
Considering your post history, I can see this. Thanks for sharing your experience. Sometimes, I am amazed at the lack of appreciation people have for their own connections.
The mother called me, an acquaintance of my sister. Her daughter had graduated in May and was having a hard time finding a job. So she asked me to talk to her, given how she majored in a related field. Mind you, I'm not hiring, but I might know someone who would be.
The mother calls me back, to set up the interview time and place. I knew I would be between meetings this morning, so I suggested a convenient coffee shop in transit.
The invitation hit my e-mail, duly put on my calendar.
I arrive five minutes early, order my coffee, and wait. And wait. And wait. Fifteen minutes after our appointed time, I call her. "Oh, I'm running behind. I'll be right there." And so I wait, and wait, and wait some more. Had this not been a daughter of my sister's friend, I would have packed up and left right then. Instead, I answered e-mails and made phone calls until she arrived.
She trickled in 45 minutes late in a huff. She forgot her resume. And when I pretty gently suggested that showing up 45 minutes late to a business appointment isn't how you get off on the right foot in life, she looked at me as if I has just said something disgusting to her.
"Well. Mom knew I was having breakfast with friends this morning." Said without any self-awareness whatsoever.
Because she was late and because I was going to another meeting, I had the fifteen minute chat, wished her good luck and left.
Five minutes later, I get a call from her mother, ticked off that I hadn't devoted much time to her daughter. I proceeded to tell her that not only was her daughter incredibly late, but wasn't prepared for the meeting. To that, she simply hung up. And I'll probably get read the riot act by my sister for not being 'helpful.'
Parents. If you are not teaching your children to be on time and be prepared, if you are doing things like working the phones to line up interviews for your children, then you are doing them a grave disservice in life. Also, if you never insist that your child have some kind of job in high school or college, then you are guaranteeing that they'll be missing some important experience when it comes time to enter the real world.
The girl's behavior leads me to wonder if she had any prior work experience in the real world. Seems she is lacking in basic life skills such being considerate, punctual and taking initiative for getting her own jobs. Mom's parenting doesn't help, I'm sure. Your leaving after waiting 5-10min. would have taught her such basic life lessons.
Reminds me of one such lesson I learned about punctuality and being responsible, while working a high school part-time job in a bakery when I was 16 yrs.
I had agreed to cover a co-workers shift on a day I normally had off. On the day in question, I decided to wash my uniform at the last minute ( not sure why?) and so was running late, while waiting for my uniform to dry in the dryer. Not thinking it would be such a big deal,(because, well, one can't show up for work with wet clothes, can one?) I sauntered in about 15 min. late and took my position at the counter. Prior to this, I was considered the best worker: conscientious, punctual, reliable, blah, blah, blah. Well, my supervisor called me aside and together we went to the break room, where she promptly formally wrote me up for being late and displaying unprofessional behavior by agreeing to take a co-worker's shift and then not arriving at said designated shift time, as well as leaving my co-worker all alone to cover for my missing self for that 15 min.
I was mortified and shocked! My immature, self-centered teenage self had not even considered the consequences of my behavior towards other people, especially in the formal work environment. Needless to say, it was the last time I was ever late for work, without good reason and giving prior notification.
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No one's life is easy....
