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Well.. since I am married, and have been for 28 yrs, I sorta know a little about it
thanks for that information!
this truly makes no sense. Dads girlfriend doesn't need to worry about this child's private health history. This is being sneaky trying to use it as her excuse to become violent. There is no excuse. It's not something that should really be disclosed anyhow. She is 12 years old so privacy between father and daughter regarding her health, should be honored.
There gets to be a point when you are dating someone and it just "flows"... meaning you just start sorta becoming part of the family. Not in name yet but it's naturally heading that direction. Signs starts showing up. A group of people bond together as a family sort of would. Kids want Dads girlfriend around at times. Start asking for and about her. Friendships develop. That is a sign it could be time to start disclosing private health information but it will come up naturally, by the 12 yr old child. If not, that private info disclosed by Dad needs to be kept mum.
When you are darn sure it appears to be working out for the betterment of the entire family
Stop demeaning her with that title. SHE IS HIS FIANCEE!!!! A WHOLE DIFFERENT TITLE AND LEVEL OF RESPECT. Since you want to take it there.
If the child is around OP's children yeah she should know what issues she has because they ARE GETTING MARRIED. WTF!!!!
OP, don't listen to people won't want to make you feel like you did something wrong. When I WAS DATING a guy for 6 months he told his daughter to listen to me when she was pouting and being a brat.
You are marrying this man, will be living with him and when this child is in your home she will be in YOUR care so she you need to learn how to listen to you. You are the adult.
And I hate to tell you this, but I've taken my son's phone and hidden it for an ENTIRE WEEK before.
And yes, I forcibly pried it out of his sweaty little hand.
Whether it is in her name doesn't matter.
They cannot refuse to come out when an adult, one not in authority over a child, orders her to stop texting, gets physical stealing it from her persons, then keeps it for an hour. A 911 call to get the phone back would mean an officer comes out to ensure the child wasn't hurt and can contact CPS to investigate further.
911 calls are always followed up on by an Officer per protocol
The father feels his daugher "has not much behavior issues" so probably didn't press it further. It's too bad the girlfriend decided to jump in to over-ride her father ordering something she shouldn't of a child, then getting physically violent with her. Stealing from her and hiding it.
This is no April Fools Joke. These things can have serious re-procussions. The Father needs to be more selective in picking people to bring around his children.
Last edited by ItIsWritten.; 04-02-2018 at 02:25 PM..
Stop demeaning her with that title. SHE IS HIS FIANCEE!!!! A WHOLE DIFFERENT TITLE AND LEVEL OF RESPECT. Since you want to take it there.
If the child is around OP's children yeah she should know what issues she has because they ARE GETTING MARRIED. WTF!!!!
OP, don't listen to people won't want to make you feel like you did something wrong. When I WAS DATING a guy for 6 months he told his daughter to listen to me when she was pouting and being a brat.
You are marrying this man, will be living with him and when this child is in your home she will be in YOUR care so she you need to learn how to listen to you. You are the adult.
please calm down. And stop with the abbreviated vulgar references.
We do not get physical with children over-riding their parents, period.
We do not order other peoples children around
We appreciate being on a trip with the father and the grandfather and act accordingly
We do not start a thread blaming the child later, disclosing medical diagnosis.
Then tell us about their own child being the same
Sorry but you don't know any better? no remorse?
assume history will repeat itself
OP, I've been reading the thread, but saw no reason to add my comments(yes, run) up until now. I have my doubts that Dad finally laid down the law. I suspect some bribery may have been in play this past weekend. I would definitely hold out any further commitment until counseling was agreed to.
IF this child (who, in your example, sounded remarkably composed) had called 9-1-1, when your fantasy dispatcher asked if her parent was there and she replied in the affirmative, it's just as likely that the dispatcher would ask to speak to the parent.
Should an officer be sent out to "learn the truth," unless there were urgent vacancies to be filled at the jail that night, based on the ACTUAL things that the OP has said to us in her four limited posts, I think it likely he or she would have told them to shape up.
You have taken this scenario to a whole other level.
Um...yeah. Please just take a breath if you would. In and out. No swat team involved here.
Quote:
IF this child (who, in your example, sounded remarkably composed) had called 9-1-1, when your fantasy dispatcher asked if her parent was there and she replied in the affirmative, it's just as likely that the dispatcher would ask to speak to the parent.
That is possible too. They would've at least asked about him I didn't do it perfectly. Much depends upon how much time they have also. My sister is a Sheriffs Dispatcher.
Quote:
Should an officer be sent out to "learn the truth," unless there were urgent vacancies to be filled at the jail that night, based on the ACTUAL things that the OP has said to us in her four limited posts, I think it likely he or she would have told them to shape up.
You have taken this scenario to a whole other level.
We were foster parents for many years. These incidences are often further investigated.
Children can be taken away. Don't risk it. In our new area, I wouldn't guess the child would be removed. In our former uppidy town, that is a VERY REAL possibility.
Moral of the story? Butt out. Don't get physical with a child you are not placed in authority over.
Be appreciative you were invited on this trip. Be appreciative the child forgave you and be kind in turn.
Don't make snide remarks. Don't start threads on message boards blaming your victim.
History will repeat itself as long as remorse is lacking. and we hope, when this child does actually do something wrong, this person doesn't feel the need to suddenly "spank her" smack her or worse. This is not good when something so trivial that doesn't even involve her sets the OP off. She calls the child texting "atrocious behavior" the title of the thread. Just wait.
Last edited by ItIsWritten.; 04-02-2018 at 02:40 PM..
Moral of the story? Butt out. Don't get physical with a child you are not placed in authority over.
Be appreciative you were invited on this trip. Be appreciative the child forgave you and be kind in turn.
Don't make snide remarks. Don't start threads on message boards blaming your victim.
History will repeat itself as long as remorse is lacking. and we hope, when this child does actually do something wrong, this person doesn't feel the need to suddenly "spank her" smack her or worse. This is not good when something so trivial that doesn't even involve her sets the OP off. She calls the child texting "atrocious behavior" the title of the thread. Just wait.
Moral of the story - run like hell from this spineless, milquetoast of a father and his spoiled brat child and find someone who can teach his children respectful behavior. OP has nothing to be remorseful for except maybe exposing her own children to this situation.
OP, I've been reading the thread, but saw no reason to add my comments(yes, run) up until now. I have my doubts that Dad finally laid down the law. I suspect some bribery may have been in play this past weekend. I would definitely hold out any further commitment until counseling was agreed to.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ItIsWritten.
please calm down. And stop with the abbreviated vulgar references.
We do not get physical with children over-riding their parents, period.
We do not order other peoples children around
We appreciate being on a trip with the father and the grandfather and act accordingly
We do not start a thread blaming the child later, disclosing medical diagnosis.
Then tell us about their own child being the same
Sorry but you don't know any better? no remorse?
assume history will repeat itself
If you want a child that doesn't grow up to be an entitled brat you take a stand. I agree with Mattie, Dad pulled his daughter aside and had a talk. Kids that have weekend parents act out all the time. They push the limits.
If Dad is constantly working and he has spent 2 1/2 years seeing, chatting, Skyping with OP does it not stand to reason that any time OP is around the 12 year might feel resentment.
You called her his girlfriend. She isn't and I think if she was just his girlfriend she wouldn't be on a message board talking about this. OP knows that the situation has to be brought under control and not just for on weekend. Because there will be another outing, the daughter will have an attitude again, and Dad will not always be around. If she isn't allowed to discipline her she needs to know this before she signs a marriage license.
If you want a child that doesn't grow up to be an entitled brat you take a stand. I agree with Mattie, Dad pulled his daughter aside and had a talk. Kids that have weekend parents act out all the time. They push the limits.
If Dad is constantly working and he has spent 2 1/2 years seeing, chatting, Skyping with OP does it not stand to reason that any time OP is around the 12 year might feel resentment.
You called her his girlfriend. She isn't and I think if she was just his girlfriend she wouldn't be on a message board talking about this. OP knows that the situation has to be brought under control and not just for on weekend. Because there will be another outing, the daughter will have an attitude again, and Dad will not always be around. If she isn't allowed to discipline her she needs to know this before she signs a marriage license.
The truth is, she doesn't even sound like his girlfriend. They do not sound connected at all. They don't sound as if they even spend much time together except on some weekends. She doesn't sound as if she knows the child she offended repeatedly, well at all. I guess she only visits every other weekend.
This rushing into marriage is a bad idea. There is a natural flow that you wait to occur to ensure success. Positive signs will be present within both parties showing the relationships are progressing, naturally, into being a family, Then you can decide to advance beyond the label of Dads' girlfriend to his Fiancee. Which again, changes nothing in relation to the kids.
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