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I'm not trying to deliberately freak you out, but as the mom of a 13 year old boy, I hear stories about things that make me worry for him. He's a young 13 and I think several years away from dating but weird stuff happens these days and this girl sounds unstable. Maybe it's the usual amount of unstable for a 15 year old girl, maybe it's more, it's hard to tell.
I have a 15 year old daughter and I have to say that she (or most of her friends) would never do that. It sounds like someone that has some issues and I think that the best course of action is talking with her parents. If only to let them know about the texts and video and that you would like it to stop. Our school is about the same size as yours and we have a student directory.....does yours? If not, it shouldn't be too hard to track down this girl's address.
I would not involve the school at this point unless there is something that occurs while they are actually there or she breaks some actual school rules. This is really part of his personal life and if a school had to deal with every break up that went wrong they wouldn't be able to do anything else.
I would say that she was probably surprised that he said no to waiting for her and her self esteem took a hit. In response, she gathered her friends and they are waging an all out assault to try and bring her back up. Some girls are just mean and some just can't handle rejection.
I wouldn't worry too much about her finding out where you live. I would doubt that she would be interested in actually doing something and frankly, if she tries then it is time to get the police involved. Most of all, make sure your son stays out of it and doesn't respond to her. It will just fuel the fire.
Hope things get better and I am sorry that you have to deal with this. Bigger kids, bigger problems, right?
Man...I don't know. Kids at this age...ESPECIALLY girls, can be very very dramatic. And mean. I personally think it would be better to be anonymous. Because if OP goes marching down to school demanding to talk to the principal...it's going to get around school and THEN the kids will harass the son about how his mommy has to fight his battles for him, and he's such a *****, and blah blah blah.
I agree with this 100%. My son is now 23, and I remember his high school days. There were times when I wanted to fight his battles for him when girls would act crazy, but he had to learn on his own. Kids are cruel, and if they ever caught wind that I was at the school trying to defend him, it would be curtains for my son.
The only time I'd get involved if there was an obvious, immediate threat. Otherwise, I'd instruct my son to stay FAR away from the crazy girls.
The harassment will eventually stop if it's ignored. Just monitor the situation.
I would not involve the school nor would I contact her parents unless you think she is a danger to your son ( or herself). If she's just an teenager overcome with emotion it will pass. The one thing you have to be careful of is to make sure there is no way for anyone to say your son was threatening her. It might make sense to change his phone number. I am certain these kids can find his new number but if he changes his number and then gets new calls/texts nobody can say he was the aggressor.
Then I would find out their names and contact them. Tell them what has been happening, tell them you want it to stop, and tell them that you are concerned enough about it to go to the police but you want to give them the chance to stop it.
It's harassment. It's not how things are done these days, but pissant little teens don't know that.
No way would I stand for this.
I also agree to contact her parents! I'm assuming your son knows where she lives. If not, try googling their name. You can probably find their address. If not, contact the school! ASAP! You don't know what type of crap this girl might make up about your son!
Well nothing happened today at school, so that's good.
I think at this point, I'm being vigilant but leaving well enough alone unless she contacts him again, or if there's more of the same ugliness. Then I'll try to call a counselor at school.
This really was shocking to me because she seemed so sweet and no way in a million years would I have acted like that, especially at 14.
Thank you everyone for your supportive and encouraging words.
It seems as if the girl was setting up a test for your son with the "will you wait until I'm 16 bit". She wanted him to say yes I'll wait for you, climb the highest mountain, etc. She was angry & disappointed that he refused. It'll blow over.
Involving the girl's parents or the school will make it worse for your son.
My "mom intuition" is on alert but logically I think I'm over reacting, so wanted to put it on here for other input.
My son (15) has had a girlfriend at school this year (She is almost 15). They never actually dated because her parents said no dating until she was 16. They've been "boyfriend/girlfriend" since November. She actually seemed to pursue him more (she asked him to be her boyfriend). There were lots of phone calls and texts over the months. I met her a few times. My son got her some sweet little gifts for Christmas, Valentines Day, etc. AFAIK physically it was restricted to hugs and kisses.
Last week the girl texted him that they needed to "take a break" because really she needs to wait until she is 16, and can he wait for her for over a year until she is 16. My son said no, he doesn't want to be in the friend zone, so he was done.
Here's where it gets weird.
Her "friends" start bombarding my son with text messages, full of curse words and name calling.....,how could you break up with her?
The girl then starts sending him these awful videos about "you ruined my life/I hate you/" full of curse words and f bombs, etc.
Today she texts him, "what is your address?" (He didn't give it out).
This all feels a bit weird to me and I'm not sure if I should alert anyone at the school...?
Or maybe this is how things are nowadays and I'm overreacting?
This isn't normal behavior....in this day and age these are the warning signs they tell parents to watch for. I'd take your son's phone to the local police station.....They will contact the girl's parents and show them this stuff....They should deal with her.
Your son's reaction was normal...Be proud of him for being so level headed. Good job Mom! Now go protect him by doing what I've suggested.
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