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Oh wow, thanks. And thanks for the compliments as well.
My son is home sick today...so no updates.
My son thinks (and I agree) that if he hears or sees anything else, that will be the time to approach somebody. Until then we are just holding steady here.
I agree, I've read the feedback you've gotten here, and think there is a lot of good solid advice here....
It could go either way, lets hope the girl is just being melodramatic....I hear my son say all the time, how young girls and women are so much more emotional than boys and men....so...that might just be the case here, and in a few days she's off to dating someone else.
Rejection is hard for some to swallow....and perhaps this is the case with this gal.
I was a bullied teenager. I would have wanted an adult to address this. Leaving your son to handle this with no backup could cause things to escalate. Maybe he gets ragged by his peers, but he has some clear ammo against this chick if anyone gives him crap. He could launch a scorched earth campaign against her just fighting fair, not by getting his friends to gang up or sending hostile and profane texts. She's acting like a nut job, not one of the cool kids. Does she really want your son showing those texts to his friends and laughing about it? Or creating memes about crazy ex-girlfriends? Probably not. She's a perfect example of why people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
Document everything. Have your son keep a log if he wants to pursue this.
This wouldn't be a problem if these kids didn't have these phones with access to social media. Bullying and such is much harder to do face to face.
Bullying takes a different form now, that's true. But if you think it was not still very prevalent before smartphones, you are very misinformed. I'm in my mid 50s and I was bullied 40+ years ago by kids driving by my house and screaming out hateful things about me. Now they'd just post those things on social media, but they still found a way to do it without social media.
Ah them crazy high school teenage relationships. Thankfully the girls back when I attended had more common sense. I'd contact the administration and make the. Aware of the situation. Hopefully a talk from them and she'll calm down. Your next course of action if that doesn't work is to contact your local authorities. Too many nut jobs out there these days to take a chance and God forbid anything destructive or hurtful happening. Good luck
Her "friends" start bombarding my son with text messages, full of curse words and name calling.....,how could you break up with her?
The girl then starts sending him these awful videos about "you ruined my life/I hate you/" full of curse words and f bombs, etc.
Today she texts him, "what is your address?" (He didn't give it out).
This all feels a bit weird to me and I'm not sure if I should alert anyone at the school...?
Or maybe this is how things are nowadays and I'm overreacting?
If it were a guy doing this, someone would have called the police by now.
This is harassment. You should save all the messages, keep records and copies, and go to the police with this. Tell the girl and her parents to stop harassing your son and that you will take legal action if she continues.
This wouldn't be a problem if these kids didn't have these phones with access to social media. Bullying and such is much harder to do face to face.
This is totally false. Bullying has been around since beginning of time. It just takes on a different form with social media. But there are many ways to bully or harass someone. No cell phone or internet connection is required. Can't believe people don't see that.
Some might consider me to be overly strict because I have never let my kids go to a friend’s house, or to a movie, the mall, etc. unless I met the parents first. This has always been the case whether they were 4 years old or 14.
yes, I had young friends who did the same, your wise, not overly strict, it's a crazy world out there today, you never know.
I believe at this point in time, it might be time to sit down and have a talk with him about dating
Warn him about girls out there looking to be taken care of and all the wrong reasons to latch onto a man and force him to marry him. There are young girls out there who have no goals, except that. Hence this past girlfriend....
there are important things to look for in a lifetime mate...
You might want to caution him about observing ladies when he is dating them, how they relate to their family, and how they relate to their friends...if they talk about them a lot, and there is a lot of drama...then run like anything. Beauty is only skin deep....
If the girl grew up in a very bad household, he might want to pull back...b/c there will be baggage and could be lots of it and cause problems later in life.
The woman he chooses will be the mother of his children...
Never judge a book by it's cover, some very pretty girls not all, but some have more problems trusting people, b/c of people lying to them to get close to them.
The girl he wants to marry has goals, is not possessive, trustworthy, someone who looks like she is going to college, has a career in mind, savings, worked when she was younger and is good to her parents, helps with chores around the house.
I have a very pretty cousin, with who I had to break ties with her...she has an addiction to buying things and was always asking me to loan her large sums of money....
If the girl is constantly buying new clothes, that's an alarm....and I mean if it's an obsession....another alarm is someone who takes 3 hours to get ready to go somewhere...and thinks nothing of making others wait...
Always check to make certain she is independent, that she doesn't need to be a couple to feel successful...
Confidence is not being narcissistic...she is comfortable with her own company and doesn't need someone to go with her everywhere she goes.
Wrong reasons to get married.
To get away from parents
to be taken care of...
so she doesn't have to do things alone.
last but not least and most important, make certain the girl is compatible, in every way, especially in the way she thinks and feels about issues....it's real easy for a girl to fool a guy and pretend she is something she is not...so engage her into conversations about issues.
Is she morally respectful of people, protective and caring...does she open the door for others or let it swing in their faces....does she offer once in a while to do special things and take him special places to make him happy...and is she good to go with her friends for a weekend getaway, as well as allowing him to...you don't want to be joined at the hip.
It helps if you both feel the same way about morals, meaning, love doesn't cheat on one another, and have the attitude, well, if it doesn't work out we'll get a divorce.
Teach him to be independent, encourage him to travel and go to college...teach him to do his own laundry, take the trash out, cook, clean, and shop. So that he isn't in the market for someone to take care of him.
Marriage is a heart investment, and effects every single person in both families....it's also a financial investment, you build together...and there is no one job around the house that is hers or his, you both pitch in and respect one another and help one another...especially if both are working 40 hours a week and never ever live above your means.
good Luck
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