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However, I wouldn't judge anyone who felt differently and I'm a big believer in thoughts are just thoughts
Came from a traditional 2 parent family. 4 siblings. All married with kids of their own now all grown.
I was the only one who thought marriage and family were not going to happen for me. I worked all the time; still do; back in the old days, I had to support my parents.
Well, within a 2 year period, I was laid off from a job that was supposed to be a guaranteed promotion, started a business (from experience on job #2), reconnected with a guy I knew a couple of years before, got engaged, married, had baby 9 months later almost to the day...I look back - none of this was planned and went so fast.
I look back and think - really, those were some of the best days of my life!
I loved having my children. There would have been one in the middle (miscarried at 5 months).
I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Two best things I ever did. Daughter and son.
I've learned more things from them than I did from life itself.
But, I'm also a believer in the fact that each person can make their own decision.
Things would be very different if my husband and I didn't have our daughter. Mostly financial, since kids cost a lot of money. Not to mention that we stayed in a high COL so our daughter could grow up near extended family. Our career paths would have had more options as well.
The teenage years were very rough with our kids, especially for one of them. Yet with a lot of hard work on all out parts, this kid managed to make it through to young adulthood pretty much healthy and sane. So did his sibling. Yes, we would have had a lot more money and a financially easier life without kids, but we would have had it for what purpose?
To me, nothing compares with the plain amazement of watching squirming helpless babies ultimately turn into interesting people with their own thoughts, ambitions, desires, and behaviors. That they do, is to my way of thinking, one of the miracles of the world that only parents can fully appreciate.
I wouldn't trade the whole experience for anything.
My parents were both very disappointed with me at an early age, and in the case of my father this was made eminently and explicitly clear when I was in the sixth grade. My mother's increasing dissatisfaction showed only a year or two later, and became waves of ever-increasing strength for the next forty years. (A sister pre-deceased me as a 14 month old infant.)
This answer may seem somewhat off point, but I have to ask what is the difference between regretting because you could not be an Antarctic explorer as you chose parenthood, and regretting parenthood because you did not like the merchandise you received.
I chose not to be a mother/parent, no regrets at all.
Just talked to a guy doing work in our home and his daughter had a drug problem and he spent every dime they had putting her thru rehab a couple times so he'll never get to retire even though his work is very physical and he has trouble doing it (but very good at it). She's clean now but this area has lots of ways to fall back into drugs. He was not gung-ho on being a parent.
Regrets being a parent? No.
My life would not be complete without having such pleasure to love and parent every single day..
That said, I have not always felt that way. In Middle School, my son gave me so much grief, I thought I was going to lose it. Now I love and adore him, he is matures more and more every day.
Some children are easier to parent that others. Some are an absolute nightmare to parent. Trust me, I know A LOT of kids, I work in a school.
Most of them are a pleasure to teach, speak to, and generally just be around them is a delight. Others, I wouldn't want to be their parent if I got offered a million dollars. Some are fresh, some are violent, some are manipulative and vindictive, mean, you name it. Basically, all the bad traits you see in adults you can see when they are in preschool. I am not kidding. A toned down version, but the bad traits are already there, ready to grow into something worse every day. The luckier ones, get classified and hopefully they can be taught the right skills but I hear there are others, the more severe cases, that never get better.
I chose not to be a mother/parent, no regrets at all.
Just talked to a guy doing work in our home and his daughter had a drug problem and he spent every dime they had putting her thru rehab a couple times so he'll never get to retire even though his work is very physical and he has trouble doing it (but very good at it). She's clean now but this area has lots of ways to fall back into drugs. He was not gung-ho on being a parent.
A child with a drug problem is an absolute nightmare. You can't describe what their life is like. It's not a life,basically. You worry for their life every single day.
That said, most parents live proud of their children.
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Agree with this....
