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There's a question for all the co-sleepers of the world--how has your older child adjusted to going to sleep on their own? I always breastfed my older son to sleep, which was a problem when we stopped. We walked with the sling and sang, often resorting to a drive in the car. Then we moved in town and we would walk in the stroller. Finally, around 2 yrs., he started falling asleep to stories. It's been three years, but I don't see the stories stopping anytime soon.
Well, I didn't co-sleep with my oldest, she was pretty good falling asleep on her own. When at 3 years old she started saying that she was afraid of the dark, we brainstormed, and put a string of Christmas lights in her room. (Brainstormed with her participation, that's the trick to solving problems I learned in the "How to talk so children will listen..." book). Later, and to this day, the Christmas lights were replaced with the cosmic fiber-optic lamp that turns around and changes colors.
I didn't intend to co-sleep with the youngest one, neither, and all was well until he was 16 months old, then he had a scare of a seizure one night, nobody knew when it started - to keep an eye on him, he started sleeping with me. Seeing that, my oldest often would not fall asleep in her own bed anymore - she'd fall asleep anywhere (in the living room mostly), and likes me carrying her back to her bed. Now as the school is looming I'm grooming her for a school routine - her ultimate desire is to climb a school bus - we started associating teeth brushing, alarm clock winding, and story time with going to school. It's becoming easier for her to fall asleep in her own bed, since she's so looking forward to school.
It is unhealthy for everyone all-around....what kind of marriage survives this behavior. I know a few people that do this and I want to strangle them lol! I have twins and couldn't imagine them sleeping with us in the same room, let alone same bed for the last 3 years!! NO WAY!!!!and others think it's OK!
Anyone else?
First of all, you are assuming that kids are cosleeping with parents not parent!
My husband works A LOT. We have two kids, 7 & 3. He used to tell my son he could sleep with mom when he wasn't coming home. I used to get so mad because we only had a full size bed and i wanted it all to myself and, well, i wanted my room to myself as we lived in a small apartment.
We have since moved, and my husband, till basically last week, was home about 1 night a week. After we moved, I found myself letting BOTH my kids sleep with me. (we did buy a bigger bed when we moved, upgraded to QUEEN) To be perfectly honest, I was so content having them both in my room. That is the word that best describes the feeling i felt when they were asleep and I joined them in my room. Like everything that was important to me in the whole wide world was in reach, and I could just reach out and touch them to make sure they were still there. Like nothing could happen if they were with me.
I usually let my son sleep in the bed, and brought up the crib mattress and put it on the floor next to the bed for my daughter because she is a very restless sleeper and moves a lot, usually to a parallel to the foot of the bed with her feet in my face and her head on my sons belly. So she slept on the mattress on my side of the bed. You could call this co sleeping i guess. I was very happy to have them, and they were happy to be there. I didn't have to worry that we were alone in the house, which felt very big after coming from an apartment. I also got to hang around with them when they were sleeping , when they look like angels and are so peaceful (I think everyone should spend a few minutes a day with your sleeping child, just to get a good look at them when they are not driving you nuts)
I have since gotten them back into their own rooms, but that was only because i was having a hard time getting them to sleep in the same room at the same time, and they wouldn't cooperate with a staggered bedtime, and therefore was extending bedtime too long. I couldn't let one stay in and put one out, so they both had to go. And I miss them! And I worry about them! What if there's a fire, a burglar, lightening strikes through the window, etc.... I much preferred it when they were with me.. Once in a while I'll still let one of them in (usually if the other one is already asleep and won't realize they are being left out).
What does it matter where kids sleep? As long as the parents don't care, it is really not a big deal as far as I am concerned. Like everyone else said, there is more than one place to enjoy marital relations. For me, I think I found having the kids with me so enjoyable because, since they were capable of sleeping in their own rooms, I never felt stuck with them (I do know some people who are "stuck" with their kids in their beds, against their wishes, they just cant get their kids out). I always knew it was my choice, and i chose to have them with me.
It also makes it easier to get everyone up in the morning!
It is unhealthy for everyone all-around....what kind of marriage survives this behavior. I know a few people that do this and I want to strangle them lol! I have twins and couldn't imagine them sleeping with us in the same room, let alone same bed for the last 3 years!! NO WAY!!!!and others think it's OK!
Anyone else?
I've heard some parents let their kids sleep in their rooms up until 4th grade.
There's a question for all the co-sleepers of the world--how has your older child adjusted to going to sleep on their own? I always breastfed my older son to sleep, which was a problem when we stopped. We walked with the sling and sang, often resorting to a drive in the car. Then we moved in town and we would walk in the stroller. Finally, around 2 yrs., he started falling asleep to stories. It's been three years, but I don't see the stories stopping anytime soon.
I nursed my dd to sleep until it didn't work anymore. She was 11 months old and would still be awake after nursing at night. So I had to try something else. We went to patting her back, then singing, then just sitting in the room while she fell asleep. Now that she's in a twin, I sit next to her in the bed while she goes to sleep, or sometimes she tells me to sit on the floor because she wants more space! Ha! Occasionally she asks me to scratch her back while she falls asleep.
She's 27 months now, but she has been starting the night in her own room since 6 months and then she would come into bed with me later in the night. Now, she is actually staying in her own room all night!
When I have an infant, they will most definately co-sleeping with me at least until a year.
My nephew died of SIDS and it scares me to death the thought of seeing another dead child. It's not what I want, to wake up and not see my baby in a crib sleeping.
And for older children, some have night terrors or other things that keep them up unless they have a sense of security. That's what it is.
There's a question for all the co-sleepers of the world--how has your older child adjusted to going to sleep on their own? I always breastfed my older son to sleep, which was a problem when we stopped. We walked with the sling and sang, often resorting to a drive in the car. Then we moved in town and we would walk in the stroller. Finally, around 2 yrs., he started falling asleep to stories. It's been three years, but I don't see the stories stopping anytime soon.
I did all of the above, and with my kids, after they learned to read, I continued the stories as long as they asked. I think they started falling asleep without rocking or whatever by 2ish. I don't have a problem with it (the stories), as long as it's not a LONG story. When they're little I'll do 2 short ones and as they're older it's down to one.
I remember being really sad when my mom stopped reading me bedtime stories because I learned to read early (right before age 4)! I would still occasionally read stories to my youngest as part of a bedtime routine up until he was about 8 or 9. Now he's happy with a hug and kiss but rarely he'll ask to be read to, and sometimes we do a chapter book where I read a chapter a night. It's nice, and IMO much less trouble than the driving/walking/rocking that took forever with them both. Nursing them to sleep was the easiest of all the "tricks" for sure!
It is unhealthy for everyone all-around....what kind of marriage survives this behavior. I know a few people that do this and I want to strangle them lol! I have twins and couldn't imagine them sleeping with us in the same room, let alone same bed for the last 3 years!! NO WAY!!!!and others think it's OK!
Anyone else?
I'm with you... The time that my husband and I get togethor in bed is part of out alone time with eachother. It's good to snuggle up next to him and only him.
I have a friend who has 4 kids and they all co sleep. Their oldest is almost 6. they reciently upgraded to two queen sized beds just so they would all fit.
I know that people love it and like to be close to their children, but dont you think that in a way this is bad for the kids too? How are they suppose to be able to function in society if they sleep with mommy and daddy their whole life.
They don't sleep with mommy and daddy forever. Many kids move out on their own--some at 5, some at 8. I'm flumoxed why people think this is bad for the kids. Kids sleeping separately--especially in their own room--is new within the last hundred years or so. It still isn't common in much of the world. Obviously, plenty of "co-sleepers" have turned out fine--great even--over the milleniums of human life.
Again, if you don't want to co-sleep, that is fine too.
When I worked in the ER at several hospitals in Cincinnati and in New Jersey,,,I would say 4 out of 6 babies we 'coded' were co-sleepers that died of suffication... Seeing that was enough for us to decide against it... They are just as close in a co-sleeper right next to the bed. I would rather wake up and nurse then have it be convienent and nurse in bed...no way. Not worth it.
eta..4 out of 6 is a generalization... I could not tell you how many we actually coded but I would say 80% of them were co-sleepers that sufficated from mom or dad...
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I would still occasionally read stories to my youngest as part of a bedtime routine up until he was about 8 or 9. Now he's happy with a hug and kiss but rarely he'll ask to be read to, and sometimes we do a chapter book where I read a chapter a night. It's nice, and IMO much less trouble than the driving/walking/rocking that took forever with them both. 
Nursing them to sleep was the easiest of all the "tricks" for sure! 
