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Sometimes driving your child to school is a lot more convenient for the parent than letting the child take the bus. For example, I have to leave for work around 8am. My DD has to be on the bus stop at 7:30 (bus comes around 7:40). Most days, she'll take the bus but, if I'm running a little late, I'll just drive her.... that extra 20 minutes at home (rather than going to the bus stop, waiting, etc) makes a world of difference.
There are days when it's hard enough to get them out of bed and get a decent breakfast in them. Mornings can be crazy.
For us the goal is pretty basic: getting to school on time, every day. The mode of transportation is secondary to the goal of timely arrival.
Last edited by springfieldva; 01-03-2010 at 08:45 AM..
Please get additional training and a good supervisor. Possibly even some therapy for yourself. As soon as someone called you out on the fact that you sound like you know NOTHING about children or parenting, you put out there your mental health degree as some way to legitimize your opinions. Almost every statement you have made on this thread is too vague to be useful, irrational or inconsistent … mostly, they are angry and bitter, which is what makes me think you are burned out from your work with parents and children. You are doing them a disservice to work with them when you hate them so much, and when your perception of "what's wrong with kids today" is so simplistic, it's stupid. And you are doing the world a huge disservice by assuming that your patients represent the average parent/child dyad. You should know better.
To make the statements you are making under the flag of “child mental health expert” is unprofessional and a cop-out in the absence of having anything truly useful and meaningful to say. Also, for a child therapist to suggest that “parental involvement” in a child’s homework is wrong or will harm the child is the most ridiculous statement I have read. Parental involvement is a KEY to academic success. Now if you had said “don’t do their homework for them; don’t hover when they don’t need help” that would’ve made sense (but it would’ve been out of the blue since no one was claiming to do that). Then your panties in a bunch about kids walking in -17 degress versus 20 degrees, parents not forcing their "spoiled" kids to be home alone cooking dinner while they work (huh? what age group are you talking about?), and other mundane ridiculous things that have nothing to do with whether a child is "spoiled" or being raised well. In fact, I would imagine that a parent that lets their child walk to school in -17 degree weather and leaves them home alone to make dinner would find themselves labeled neglectful and facing child protective services, depending on the age of the child (with probably only teenagers qualifying for this being okay). Your rage toward the parents you work with is overwhelming your ability to think and to communicate adequately.
With regards to your posts to Colddiamond102, your statements are unprofessional and border on unethical. Your pettiness over insignificant minutia is sad … seriously, a child pulling a sandwich apart to eat it will make them a rotten, spoiled person? This means they are mentally ill? A young woman being selective about what she eats, favoring healthy foods is something you find criticism with (and apparently is merits a diagnosis)? Have you seriously come to this thread (or any forum) to use your degree as a way to harm people? You are NOT qualified to delineate what this woman’s issues may or may not be, nor what their origin (if she has any) is. You are seriously bordering on breech of your profession’s ethical guidelines and I would apologize and drop it. Hopefully, you are reasonable enough to step back from YOUR issues to see that you have done wrong. Based on your posts, you are even wrong in what your assessment seems to be - seems like all your conclusions come down to "this person has a bad character due to a "spoiled childhood". Umm, when did you get your degree? 1950? And did you just not show up to your diagnostic assessment classes? Had you kept your “degree” quiet, then you would just be anybody else making stupid comments. But you HAD to use that little degree, in the absence of not having children nor good logic, as your “I’m an expert on this” narcissistic move … once that information comes out, you have a duty to NOT say stupid stuff – or at least friggin’ try.
Please find some professional help and supervision to deal with your issues before this anger and irrationality starts to affect your patients (if it hasn’t already).
And ... if you need to know what qualifies ME to say what I'm saying to you, then by all means send me a private message and I will inform you - rest assured that I'm highly qualified.
Fact is, most kids don't love to do homework. Most kids, if given the choice, would rather play on the playstation or hang out with their friends.
When I was growing up, a choice like that would not have been an option for me. I either did the homework and earned the grades or there would have been no time with friends, no t.v., no nothing. If I brought home a poor grade, I would have had to see a tutor on top of doing my homework - so I had incentive to try in school.
If you blew off the work in highschool and got a 1.5 GPA, it is pretty amazing that you were able to get a 3.7 GPA in college as most of the challenging courses in college require a fair amount of cumulative knowledge.
Because Im stubborn, not stupid. I just didnt give a damn about proving anything to a teacher or anyone else. I could read Gone with the Wind in 3 days and understand it perfectly..and this was in middle school. By 8th grade I'd read War and Peace as well as devoured a good chunk of the higher reading books in almost all subjects in the school library. Id go to the public library, check out 22 books on various topics (Greek architecture was a kick of mine around 9th grade) and be done reading them by the end of the week.
High school I took an interest in philosophy, entomology, geology...all of which I could look up the answers to any questions myself.I could learn on a whim what *I* wanted to know.Because of my onw studies I am able to read/speak a bit in French and German, and have retained that ability after my classmates have lost it. They learned it because the class made them, then they forgot. I learned it because I loved it and wanted to.Grades dont indicate a thing about what someone knows/doesnt, especially if that child quite simply refuses to try or bother answering test questions/homework assignments.
Parents can cajole, threaten and consequence all they want, but ultimately it is up to the student. Parents cant go in there and do it for them. Grades dont mean jack-diddly as to what someone really knows and doesnt. I knew that I knew it, and saw no reason to "prove" it to anyone. My S/O actually was exactly the same way. Drove his mother insane, because she's a teacher.At one point all he had left in his room was a dresser, bed, and desk for over a year..and he STILL wouldnt do anything school-wise. Now he works on nuclear reactors and will make about 6 figures when he leave the Navy. So much for grades, huh?
Only later did I decide to use what Id learned because it benefited me immediately. I didnt socialize with friends often outside of the neighborhood or at school, would rather read a book than watch TV, and there's only so long you can keep a very active, mischievious, prankster-prone, creative child in a small house.
Mom is a saint for the trouble that was caused, and my hats off to the rest of you parents like her who do what you can for your kids, be it take them to school or anything else. I dont deal well with children myself, but thought to speak up for those children who happened to be smart and extremely stubborn, that would balk at "making dinner before the parents got home" .
Minier:
*Bows*
My thanks.
There is more than one definition of "Quack"...and the one Im referring to isnt associated with a duck.
Last edited by Colddiamond102; 01-03-2010 at 01:03 PM..
Our school buses - and city buses for that matter - don't have seat belts, either. I always thought this was odd. Why are they exempt from the seat belt law?
I thought it had to do with people being able to get out if there was an accident.
Just to put a few more thoughts I have into this. School bus drivers are not paid very well and the only qualification they need to have is passing a background (not including a drug test) and possessing a CDL license. If they don't have that license then the district will pay for the class to make it happen.
The bus drivers are not paid well at all. It is one of the lowest paying jobs in the school system. So with that said who do you think is getting hired for these positions. Our district has good and bad bus drivers.
As far as the seat belt issue. The district can spend the money to get them but the kids will not wear them. You can train you child all you want but that peer pressure of being the only one to buckle up will end up winning over you telling and training them to do it when they get in an automobile.
I also wonder if the bus got into and accident or in a situation how long would it take to get the kids off the bus?
They are not paid well at all when compared to the cost of living in many areas. A lot depends on whether the system hires the drivers or contracts the service out. District hired drivers possibly/probably get paid more and possibly/probably have better benefits. The employment rate at any given time impacts the quality of drivers. The pool is probably quite better now than 3 years ago. Driving with benefits might look pretty good to some. Can be real popular with the supposed retired folks. I say supposed because if you are working you aren't retired even if you claim you are.
I had an old post about this but I can't seem to find it and I am still puzzeld by this. Why do so many parents in Wake County Drive their children to and from school every day? I passed by Wakefield middle school a few weeks ago in the morning and their was this HUGE line of cars twisting out into the main road with parents dropping their children off. I understand their are special programs that require kids to come early and stay late and some kids have special needs and can't ride the bus, but it seems to me there are a whole bunch of other people driving their kids to school on a daily basis instead of having them take the bus.
I read a lot of letters to the editor in the N&O from parents complaining about school policy issues affecting school schedules and how it is a burden to them because they drive their children to school this affects their routines, but I am always left wondering why the parents are driving their kids to school in the first place (the above reasons aside).
Don't most kids take a bus anymore? Why not? What's going on here? Is it a generational thing? Are parents just way more protective than they were 20-30 years ago and worried about their kids waiting at a bus stop?
I never took the bus and we lived far, however mom did not take us either. We walked! When my daughter was in 1st grade she would take the bus. One day she came home in tears screaming at the top of her lungs. The bus driver, upset with the noise pulled over and told the kids he was not taking them home until they got quiet. It may have been just two or three seconds that he sat on the side of the road but my daughter thought it was hours! What fear in a child, hence my reason for taking her to work as long as I possibly could. With crime and crazy people I would probably have started taking her anyway, you can not be too safe with your little ones, even in middle school.
*Shrug*
Ive always been that way about food...any food really. I was just an odd kid. Used to take lettuce for a snack to school, while all the other kids had crackers, etc, because I didnt like those things. Every kid is different. There's no method that works on each and every one.Im speaking for the odd, stubborn ones like myself, who have the personality type that they have to WANT to learn something on their own. The more someone pushes, the more the heels get dug in.
Ever hear the adage "You can lead a horse to water but cant make him drink"?. It holds truth.You can try your damndest, but in the end its up to the horse/kid whether or not he drinks. Everyone has their own eating habits, and Ive always thought that some of those habits are ingrained in us...they come naturally. Four years old and wouldnt (still wont) eat a sandwhich intact..Ill still eat it, but take it apart and eat it bit by bit. Same age, had first piece of fried chicken, I tore off the skin and threw it away. Didnt want it touching the part I was about to eat. My mother never did this for me...I automatically did it myself.
And honestly, you're coming across as if
1. You actually think you know me. I was FAR from spoiled, especially as I got older.
2. Judgemental.
3. You're trying to prescribe your own "fix it" method with whats wrong with these young whippersnappers today.
I can hear it now "Back in MY day, nobody was allowed to eat their own food their own way. We didnt spoil 'em by letting 'em choose whether or not to eat the bun on their sandwhich.. We made 'em eat crackers instead of the healthier things they liked anyway, and when they got home those kids knew to get in the kitchen and fix me a sammich"
I did/still do things every single day I dont want to. I dont want to, but I have to, and my life CAN make me....
But it wont make me cook for you, my parents, or anyone else. I can fix your windows, make a new flowerbed, mow grass, re-do your hardwood floors by hand, cut your grocery bill by 50% or more, and a myriad of other things many people my age cant. I was nowhere near as spoiled as you've assumed simply because I dont/wont cook, and I doubt alot of the other kids in this discussion are either simply because their parents drive them to school..or dont make them fix them dinner.
Come off your high horse for a bit sweetcheeks. It must be lonely up there.
Are you my child? I bet you are my child! My child could have written this. That is so funny, she is exactly even the lettuce part like you have written here! When she was 6 years old we were not teaching her a craft project fast enough. She took the picture, went to her grandmothers room, took the items needed and a couple of hours later came out with the perfect project. She did not take the instructions as she could not read them. I will never forget how perfect everything was.
Not spoiled just super! I love her so much and she is not your normal child! Kudos for a wonderful reply.
I remember when I was in middle school I played trumpet and took it home every day to practice.
I would ride the bus in the morning because it wasn't crowded, but in the afternoon no one would let me sit with them because I had my instrument with me and it took up too much space. After a couple of days of mean looks and kids throwing their bookbags in the way when I tried to sit down, with the bus driver yelling at me all the time to sit down so we could get going, I couldn't take it. I told my mother and after that she picked me up from school every day.
I'm sure she felt it was well worth it considering how much I ended up getting out of being in the band for the next 10 years (all through college, and even met my husband there).
My goal is to get my kids to school safely. These days, I wouldn't do it any other way except to drive them. Gone are the days of letting our kids walk to school unsupervised without adult supervision. The perverts are in wait. If you don't think it could happen to you or in your town; think again. I make special arrangements with my job and other parents to secure the kids are supervised with adults to and from school. We live within 2 miles of the school so there is no bus available to them. I know of 2 cases personally, where a child under the age of 8 was abducted from a school bus stop, molested and murdered; both kids were male. I never saw one thing on the news about either case. This only tells me that it happens alot more then people are aware. One, out of the many social responsibilites that we as parents have, is to insure the safety of our next generation.
Last edited by tyvin; 01-04-2010 at 12:32 AM..
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