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I'm 30 years old and I don't know how to adult. I moved in with my parents in January for a year and they make me pay bills. I haven't saved a dime. (I know I suck as a person because of this. )
Some background info:
I make about $2300 a month. The problem is, I have about $26,000 of student loan debt.
Navient - $3,500 - 6.8%
Nelnet - $22,500 -6.8%
**Navient is in deferment until May and Nelnet is in forbearance until August.
I also have a car loan of about $21,000. My car was bought new. It is a 2015 Honda Civic. I have to drive a lot for work, so I needed something reliable.
Car Loan - $21,000 - 1.9%
I have really good credit: 740
That's all concerning my debt.
My monthly expenses starting in April will be:
$240.00 - Tithes
$400.00 - Car Note (It's actually $374, but I pay the extra $26 to make it an even $400.)
$400.00 - Rent for parents
$$115.00 - Car Insurance
$140.00 - Gas
$120.00 - Food
$135.00 - Cell phone
$25.00 - Life Insurance
$22.00 - Gym (My parents live in a pretty rough neighborhood, so walking around outside for exercise isn't an option.)
$10.00 - Job fee
$100.00 - Dry cleaners
$200.00 - Dental (Saving to have major dental work done)
$200.00 - Saving for moving out
$80.00 - Navient
$110 - Nelnet
This virtually leaves me no room for anything. I live paycheck to paycheck. I literally feel like I'm drowning and I've lost many nights of sleep over this.
Someone, please help me.
Try a part time job. It will keep you busy and give you extra cash. Try working on Ebay or something too.
What am I going to do?
I'm going to apply for new jobs. I do really like my job a lot, but I don't know if I love it. It's very comfortable. However, it doesn't leave room to pick up a second job though.
Dry cleaners: I've cut my bill in nearly a half since the original post. ($55 a month )This is going to probably be the hardest thing to completely stop. I really don't have time to iron myself.
Car Loan: I think I'm pretty stuck with this one. I'm upside down by nearly $8,000. I bought a used car before this one and it was a complete disaster. Faulty everything and it was less than a year old when I bought it. There were so many recalls that it started affecting my work time. I immediately made up my mind to never by used again and made a rash decision on selling my old car and purchasing my new one.
I know it's not fun job hunting, but once you find a higher paying job and you start to pay down things quickly, it will feel freeing. You're so young (at least to me), and you have so much good stuff ahead of you, but you have to go out and get it.
I'm with you on the car. Safety is something you can't put a price on. When I was a young woman, except for my first car, I always bought new but cheap. Keeping the cars for a long time kept it financially acceptable to me. My first car was used and I later discovered there was something dangerous in the steering. I was lucky to escape without harm and decided from then on that I wouldn't take on anyone else's problems. Now, if I had a good car mechanic in the family, I would have bought used.
As for the ironing, it's probably just something you don't want to do. It's not fun, but it doesn't take that much time to iron. Turn on a favorite TV show, fire up the iron, and just do it.
$374.00 - Car Note Not much we can do there
$400.00 - Rent for parents Can't change that
$$125.00 - Car Insurance You need full coverage which is higher, but shop around
$150.00 - Gas Use a reward card, many gas stations offer them. It doesn't save a ton but it's something.
$150.00 - Food Why is this back up so high? Pack you lunch, cook at home. No excuse, sorry
$44.00 - Cell phone
$125.00 - Life Insurance why did it go from $25 to $125? You're young
$11.00 - Gym (My parents live in a pretty rough neighborhood, so walking around outside for exercise isn't an option.) How often do you actually go? Working out can be done in home, requiring no equipment (maybe just a mat). Try Blogilates on YouTube.
$55.00 - Dry cleaners This needs to go to 0
$400.00 - Credit Card (Medical)
$200.00 - Emergency Fund ( I hope to save $1500.00 as quickly as possible. I actually did save it and was good for 5 months and then life happened.)
$50 - MISC
I don't buy that you don't have time to iron. I buy my clothes cheap, too and I do fine. Dry cleaners can be cut. Food for one person doesn't need to be so high for one month. You need to go back to the $60 you were at, pack a lunch for work. Eat out with friends once a month, otherwise don't. You can workout at home. Cut Life Insurance until you can actually afford it.
And unless you work 70 hours a week at your job, you need a second job. I'm in a similar situation and I have held a part-time job for a while now. It's not fun, but you need more income. Good luck
I know it's not fun job hunting, but once you find a higher paying job and you start to pay down things quickly, it will feel freeing. You're so young (at least to me), and you have so much good stuff ahead of you, but you have to go out and get it.
I'm with you on the car. Safety is something you can't put a price on. When I was a young woman, except for my first car, I always bought new but cheap. Keeping the cars for a long time kept it financially acceptable to me. My first car was used and I later discovered there was something dangerous in the steering. I was lucky to escape without harm and decided from then on that I wouldn't take on anyone else's problems. Now, if I had a good car mechanic in the family, I would have bought used.
As for the ironing, it's probably just something you don't want to do. It's not fun, but it doesn't take that much time to iron. Turn on a favorite TV show, fire up the iron, and just do it.
Good luck and let us know how you are doing.
You could be right about the ironing thing. I'll 100% cut out the dry cleaners.
Job hunting is the worst! However, I have a small vacation later this month which will give me time to fully look for other jobs.
Thanks for the advice. I can't wait to let you guys know all of the positive news about my finances in the future, God willing.
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I don't buy that you don't have time to iron. I buy my clothes cheap, too and I do fine. Dry cleaners can be cut. Food for one person doesn't need to be so high for one month. You need to go back to the $60 you were at, pack a lunch for work. Eat out with friends once a month, otherwise don't. You can workout at home. Cut Life Insurance until you can actually afford it.
And unless you work 70 hours a week at your job, you need a second job. I'm in a similar situation and I have held a part-time job for a while now. It's not fun, but you need more income. Good luck
I'm 100000000% positive that my buying cheap and your buying cheap are totally different. That said, I'm going to completely cut it. I'll start small and try it out for a month to see if it's something I can handle.
I can also cut the food cost. I'll probably cut it $80 a month though. Peanut butter and banana sandwhiches.
Life Insurance is in the process of being lowered as I type.
I use the gym for the treadmill, so cutting it is a negative.
No time to iron? You're in terrible financial shape, and you are throwing money at a dry cleaner because you're lazy. Got it. I make 3 times what you do, and I don't use a dry cleaner on a regular basis (just the few items that are specifically dry clean only).
The real problem here is that you don't seem to grasp how bad your situation is. On your salary and with that debt load, you cannot afford anything other than basic subsistence living -- food, rent, cheap transportation. No dry cleaner, insurance, gym, fancy phone & plan. You got here by making bad decisions and living above your means. Until you figure out what went wrong and WHY you made those decisions, you're going to keep repeating them. Just curious, did you attend a for-profit school?
Stop whining about trying to be an adult and BE AN ADULT. Make the necessary, difficult choices.
Last edited by skaternum; 12-08-2017 at 07:51 AM..
Seriously though, have you ever though about joining the military? It would eliminate housing, food, medical, life insurance, and other expenses, allows free college so you can get into a position, job experience, and it pays FAR better than some people have realized. It has to be better than 31 and living with parents?
I'm 100000000% positive that my buying cheap and your buying cheap are totally different. .
I buy most clothes secondhand at places like Goodwill. What's your "buying cheap" that's so different from mine? I also used to buy cheap quality clothes from cheap stores like Rue21 that fall apart after a few washes. I realized I was getting better quality at thrift stores, its pre-worn but it's not trash. I also learned to sew to fix any easy loose seams. I don't wash my dress pants after each wear, no need to.. I take them off as soon as I get home and hang them up. I also use the gentle cycle and hang dry as much as I can (saves on my utilities). As I said, my financial situation is not great, even worse than yours. My advice was coming from a place of being there myself and knowing every cent counts and sacrifices have to be made. I got myself into it, so I have to bust my butt to get myself out.
Also, I am not trying to sound harsh, just pointing out reasonable changes you can make. I am far from perfect, I slip up from time to time, and maybe there's more I could do but can't see for myself.
Thanks for all of the previous the great advice! I'm back with a little update. Some things have changed (I paid off my NAVIENT student), some have stayed the same and some have gotten worse.
I'm 31 years old and I still don't know how to adult. I moved in with my parents indefinitely and they make me pay rent. I still haven't saved a dime. (I know I still suck as a person because of this. )
Some UPDATED background info:
I make $2085.00 a month and I have close to $50,000 of total debt.
Nelnet - $23,000 - 6.8%
Credit Card(Medical) - $6,000 -0% for 24 months starting in January
**Nelnet is in forbearance until September of 2018.
I also have a car loan of about $21,000. My car was bought new. It is a 2015 Honda Civic. I have to drive a lot for work, so I needed something reliable.
Car Loan - $18,000 - 1.9%
I have still have pretty good credit: 725
That's all concerning my debt.
My monthly expenses starting in January will be:
$374.00 - Car Note
$400.00 - Rent for parents
$$125.00 - Car Insurance
$150.00 - Gas
$150.00 - Food
$44.00 - Cell phone
$125.00 - Life Insurance
$11.00 - Gym (My parents live in a pretty rough neighborhood, so walking around outside for exercise isn't an option.)
$55.00 - Dry cleaners
$400.00 - Credit Card (Medical)
$200.00 - Emergency Fund ( I hope to save $1500.00 as quickly as possible. I actually did save it and was good for 5 months and then life happened.)
$50 - MISC
I don't plan on paying on Nelnet until September when my forbearance is over.
This virtually leaves me no room for anything.
Please help...again.
Car was a mistake, but you are stuck. I took a quick look and it appears it is worth about $7000 so you cannot sell it and get out of that loan. Drop the life insurance. There is no reason for you to have it at this age. Sign up to donate you body to science if you die so there is no burial expenses. Depending on where you live. you may find cheaper rent by moving out and getting a roommate or renting a room. Do you need the cell phone for work? If so, ask your employer to pay for it, it not ditch it. Dump the gym. Yes it is cheap, but every little bit counts. Find a park or a safe neighborhood where you can drive your expensive car and go for a run or whatever you like to do. Check with your local community, most cities have some sort of exercise facility. See if you can cut back on dry cleaning costs. wear things several times before cleaning them. When you get off work, run right home and hang them up. I do not know the numbers but it appears you might qualify for food stamps and other aid. Cut back on your savings by $50 and pay $50 toward one of the credit cards.
Talk with your minister/priest about reducing tithing for a time until you get things under control. If you are getting your act together, talk to you parents about your debt. They could pay it off with a second ont heir house if they trust you and the interest is deductible (maybe not anymore), and a lower rate. With a 30 year loans will be lower payments and you can increase the payments over time as you get back on your feet.
My daughter is in a simlar situation. IN addition to a 40 - 50 hour a week job, she works at a petsmart on weekends and a few week nights when she is not required to work weekends or extended hours by her employer. It is not pleasant. She rarely gets a break, but it is manageable. Typically she has one or two days off a month. She also joined a gym. She found she does not exercise unless she specifically goes there for that purpose, so you may find it necessary. She goes to the library or comes home for internet use.
She still makes a lot of mistakes. Impulse buying, smashing her phone in a fit of rage, etc. Those setbacks are a problem she has to deal with.
Buying clothes - goodwill is overpriced. Salvation army has better prices especially if you watch for the colored tag sales. Find two or three salvation army stores near you and make a regular circuit when you can. Ask for necessities for birthdays or Christmas. My daughter asked us to pool our gift money and get her a pair of steel toed shoes for her birthday (required for work). Many discount stores like Target have big sales when they change out their seasonal clothing. We have a store in our are called Meijers. They sell leftover seasonal clothes for as much as 75% off. The quality is not bad, In fact, few people know this, but many of the fancy brands and cheap Target brands are actually the same, just different pockets and labels. We are well off but have five kids. We live in a wealthy community. Our kids always wore Meijers, Target or salvation army clothing or whatever someone gave them for Christmas. They have never had any piece of clothing come apart and fall off them while wearing it. They were never ridiculed for what they wore.
For food: Pasta is really cheap Mac & Cheese, Spaghetti, rice. Brand name cereal is crazy expensive. Watch for sales on bread etc. Mooch off your parents. Don't they have leftovers? Good for lunch.
Since you spent that money on a newish car, maybe you could drive for Uber or lyft?
When you buy your next car let this one be a learning experience for you. You bought a new car in 2015 because you wanted something reliable. It is now pushing three years old. Is it still reliable? You could have bought a three year old car for one third the price, and you would have it paid off by now.
Don't fret past decisions, just live with them and learn from them. I have made some terrible decisions over the years, one of which cost me over $1 million over 10 years. However I do not regret it. there is a lot more to living life than money.
Last edited by Coldjensens; 12-08-2017 at 07:50 AM..
Reduce this. (Ideally, eliminate it altogether, although I know you probably don't want to do that.). Get the student loans paid off before yo do any major charitable giving. Right now, you simply can't afford it. Donate your time instead.
!
Tithing is strictly about money and can’t be replaced with time.
Thanks! I really do need a side job but my job keeps me busy to the point that I'm super tired when I do have time off.
How will my family afford to bury me?
I am in great shape and exercise daily. However, honestly, I am not attractive and will probably not attract a man who makes a decent living.
If you have a job that keeps you so busy that you're super tired when you get off and doesn't leave you time for a second job, but you're only making $27,000/year, I think you need a new job. What area is your degree in? In most places being a teacher would pay almost double what you're making now.
Don't worry about how your family will bury you. Everybody seems to figure that out when it's time. And it probably won't be time for you for many, many years.
I doubt if you're so unattractive that you'll never fine a man who makes a decent living. There's a lid for every pot. You can't count on that as way to get yourself out of debt, but certainly don't give up hope for finding a partner, either.
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why did it go from $25 to $125? You're young
