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The reason I pointed out that everyone has a prenup has been amplified by the posts here. It is obvious that not only does everyone have a prenup but almost no one knows what it says. And, here in Ohio, the code and case annotations interpreting the code are hundreds of pages of often conflicting rules. Given this, don't we all see that having a written prenup that the parties understand and agree to is a good idea?
I'm OK if the "bride to be" wants the prenup to say "if we get divorced I get every last dime you have and the horse you rode in on." If the lucky fellow wants to agree with that its his business, but doesn't it make sense to know what the consequence of divorce or death will be given that half of all marriages end in divorce and the rest end in death?
It's the same in the US. Many men view splitting the asets accumulated during the marriage as "taking them to the cleaners".
WRONG and WRONG! I have no problem splitting what we earned together, nor do many men. It is a truth that some men do, just as some women think that divorce is a good means of enriching their lives as much as possible.
The laws are set up in many states so that your spouse can go after just about anything and often get it. Mine did and did including assests I brought into the marriage which state law says are seperate property and not part of the divisible marital assets EXCEPT..... and thats where you die, the except part. Want to go to court and argue over it? No problem. Just pull out the pen write the check and bingo, there you are in court, making an arguement. Thing is that two days of court will cost you somewhat over 5k BEFORE you get the similar bill from your soon to be ex wifes attorney who of course you are paying for. This means that she need only threaten to force a court date on anything less than 20k in value and you are better off giving it up because you cannot come out ahead. And yes that is the actual number where my attorney advised me to let it go because even a victory would be more expensive than simply walking away from the issue. This of course is based on your assets since the more expensive the thing the more expensive the fight becomes and your minimum value floor to see a possible gain in a fight goes up with the costs of the fight.
I could go on and on but one last thought I have is the owed thing. Some women have this whole well I stayed there and cooked and cleaned and put up with you so you owe me. News flash, many men have just as much time in as their spouses do, actual hours of work in and out of the home, sometimes more. If we owe you then you also owe us. Or neither owes the other anything. You dont get to have it both ways, either something is owed or it is not. If something is owed both parties owe.
We are not going to agree here and I will give you the last word as to that. To the thread there is not a chance I would marry without a pre nup knowing what I know now even if I were young and starting out. You have no idea what is going to be up on the table till you get there, learn after the fact and you will be very, very sorry and at the mercy of someone who may or may not choose to nail you to a cross. Unless of course you're a woman who is taking advantage of the system set in place by Divorce Inc. Then by all means, please make use of a system set up more to enrich lawyers than to protect two parties in the dissolution of marriage.
You are supposed to have an undying trust, for better or worse. Going into a marriage with a prenuptial agreement is really saying "I dont buy into the for better or worse till death do us part". People say "Well you just protect yourself with a prenup".. You shouldnt be marrying that person in the first place then!
Got nothing to do with lack of trust, it's got to do with asset protection for those with a considerable amount of assets.
Paul McCartney didn't believe in a pre-nup. Four years after he married Heather Mills, she took him to the cleaners to the tune of 40 million bucks. Total stupidity on his part, but he said that pre-nups were "not romantic."
That was her fee for sleeping with a hideous jabroni no woman probably wants to sleep with, if not for the money. Poor Heather, well earned at least
If you are both young and have nothing, there's nothing to pre-nup.
If you are older and have assets going into a marriage, it just makes sense. Neither your SO, nor his/her heirs should have any claim on what you had BEFORE you were married. A pre-nup just keeps things straight, honest, and out in the open.
You are supposed to have an undying trust, for better or worse. Going into a marriage with a prenuptial agreement is really saying "I dont buy into the for better or worse till death do us part". People say "Well you just protect yourself with a prenup".. You shouldnt be marrying that person in the first place then!
IMHO, Even back in biblical times, marriage wasn't 100% about love. There were some business considerations thrown in, too. (The dowry offered by the groom to the bride's father comes to mind, along with arranged marriages for the children of two powerful families)
Today, there are so many couples entering into second marriages with children from the prior marriage, having a prenup to protect their rights is considered a financially responsible thing to do.
If the occasion arose and it was necessary, I would sign a fairly written prenup. I don't expect to "get a slice of a pie I didn't bake" unless those were my intended husband's wishes. Whatever assets I bring into a second marriage, I want to make sure my children are provided for, and I would expect it to be the same if hubby has children from a prior marriage.
No one says anything about husbands and wives having life insurance policies on each other. It's kind of the same thing, to me. Neither spouse sputters indignantly, "What? you don't trust me to provide for myself should your passing precede mine?"
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