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I dunno....if I felt the need to do that I'd hope I"d have the sense to stay single instead--until I found someone I trusted or someone to whom I wouldn't mind leaving part of my estate. I just don't see the point in marrying someone you don't trust.
The mistake you're making is assuming a pre nup has something to do with trust or signifies a lack of faith. Like it or not when you enter into the commitment of marriage you have entered into a business venture as well as an emotional journey with someone you presumeably love.
Consider any business venture. There is paperwork describing what the business is, how the business will be divided up amongst its owners if one should wish to leave the business, what will happen if one fails to meet their obligations in the business, and so on. It would be foolhardy not to have such paperwork. Would you not think it even more so if you knew going in that there was greater than a 50% chance the business will fail and you will be relying on that paperwork to see a fair and reasonable division of such assets as the business had?
The nature of marriage is that you will accumulate various real properties and other assets in your partnership. Some of these will have sentimental value, others not. In most states both partners have little protection as to how these assets are divided in the event the venture fails. Nearly everything can be on the table should the other partner choose to make it a fight. The costs of adjudicating these matters can be extremely high. You are facing daunting odds as to whether your marriage will make it. Depending on where you get divorced it could be the only laws in place that will determine how the marital assets will be divided were designed to make lawyers rich and protect housewives in 1952 and even then judges often have broad leeway in interperation of those laws. Which means depending on whether Judge Shmuckatelly got lucky last night your motion may fail or not.
Ms bunny is correct. There are some men who view giving the ex anthing as being ripped off. The opposite is also true, there are women who will take advantage of their position to take as much as possible. I would imagine most divorces fall somewhere in between and this is what I have seen in my own small piece of the world.
Me personally I have no problems with an honest 50/50 split of the marital assets. I do not see a pre nup as a means of disenfranchising a partner in the event that things go bad and I do not believe they should be used in that fashion. I see it as a way of protecting both parties and if it should come to it, a document that will greatly ease a troubled time. Much like a will I see it as a document that no one really wants but everyone should have.
The mistake you're making is assuming a pre nup has something to do with trust or signifies a lack of faith. Like it or not when you enter into the commitment of marriage you have entered into a business venture as well as an emotional journey with someone you presumeably love.
Consider any business venture. There is paperwork describing what the business is, how the business will be divided up amongst its owners if one should wish to leave....
Aye, there's the rub. I think I am beginning to understand what you are all talking about. It's kinda like pre-planning your funeral because death is inevitable? Except . . . oh. Divorce isn't inevitable, only anticipated, and therefore the pre-nup! Got it.
What is the purpose of an agreement that can be unilaterally changed at anytime? It might as well not exist. How can you claim a will solves the issues a prenup does?
I think a better question is: What is the purpose of getting married to someone from whom you feel you may need protection in the future!?
I think a better question is: What is the purpose of getting married to someone from whom you feel you may need protection in the future!?
Hmmm. Let's see. We use protection for sex. We buy life insurance, car insurance, home insurance, health insurance, disability insurance, ...
Maybe it's because life is unpredictable, and while you hope and work for the best outcomes, you protect against the worst, because to do otherwise is simply too costly - and even irresponsible - if they happen.
Aye, there's the rub. I think I am beginning to understand what you are all talking about. It's kinda like pre-planning your funeral because death is inevitable? Except . . . oh. Divorce isn't inevitable, only anticipated, and therefore the pre-nup! Got it.
I would not say anticipated as I have never known anyone to enter into marraige thinking it was going to end in divorce and yet more than half of all do. A fact which all the talk in the world cannot get around.
I have had my say and have little to add to it other than I do understand your viewpoint because I once shared it.
Much like a will I see it as a document that no one really wants but everyone should have.
I don't agree about everyone, because if a couple starts from scratch there's nothing to bicker over, but this is an interesting way to look at it. If I had gotten married later in life I may have considered it.
Aye, there's the rub. I think I am beginning to understand what you are all talking about. It's kinda like pre-planning your funeral because death is inevitable? Except . . . oh. Divorce isn't inevitable, only anticipated, and therefore the pre-nup! Got it.
I don't really understand the hostility here (and sarcasm?), but just to say, I look at this completely differently.
If I were to marry again, especially if I married someone whose assets, etc. were much more than mine, I would insist on a prenup. It is not an "in case of". It is a frank declaration that you are not marrying this person because of his or her stuff. That you don't care about their money or whatever they have. That you are marrying this person only because you truly love them and you are not 'feathering your nest.'
I think that more people who were burned by a first marriage and divorce would be willing to risk their hearts again if they know that the person they want to be with wants to be with THEM and not with their bank account.
I don't think it's weird to put it in writing. Maybe the marriage vows should say "....for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or the law do us part, and if we part, let us do so with consideration and kindness for each other."
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