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People who are happy and committed in their relationships that put themselves into situations where a spark can ignite do find themselves compromising their relationships. Not all the time, but when interacting with opposite sex platonic friends, it is generally a good idea not to put yourself into situations where an impropriety could occur. Or where the situation could cause your SO to suspect an impropriety could or did occur.
In that respect, I vote that the GF is not being respectful to her relationship... and that is not related to how the bf feels, or his level of trust.
She has decided to be alone at a guy's house, a guy known as being flirty and hitting on women, when in a committed relationship. Even with the best intentions, if this guy starts to try to push buttons, pressuring, or whatever, something could happen. That is what the OP is seeing.
The OP should have 100% confidence in her that she is faithful... but even people who are fully faithful compromise themselves when they put themselves into dangerous situations sometimes.
She should meet him alone to interact as a platonic friend, and see the pictures, but someone not as private as a private residence. OR... she could introduce her BF to this friend, and they could view the pics together.
I met this guy twice early in the relationship with the now exGF. Literally, the only thing he ever said to me was this exactly: "good luck buddy", with a pa on the shoulder. kinda weird. the weird thing is, everytime I met her friends, no one EVER spoke to me. Except, one of the married guys in her socail group. But that might be a whole other issue. But needless to say, it was very weird and awekward.
I went to college, I've been to tons of parties and tons of bars. At times in my life, I have had 20-30 friends of whiich I could call up and hang out with. I don't consider myself socially inverted. But the social situations that panned out with this exGF were the weirdest socail situations I've EVER experienced. Barely no one ever talked to me, then the GF would walk away, and "go to the batchroom". She would come back 30 minutes later and say sorry, got caught talking to so and so. But she would NEVER engage her friends in conversation in my presense. EVER.
Oh, so she knew this guy for a while, then?
About the awkwardness: My gut says she either bad-mouthed you to them, dated or slept with a bunch of the men in that circle before she met you, or cheated on you and they all knew about it.
About the awkwardness: My gut says she either bad-mouthed you to them, dated or slept with a bunch of the men in that circle before she met you, or cheated on you and they all knew about it.
She met this guy cause this guy slept with her sister a couple times. (Her and her sis are roomates)
I guess it has been a couple years my exgf has known this guy. He is kinda a part of her social circle, but not there partying/meeting up every weekend like some of the group
She should meet him alone to interact as a platonic friend, and see the pictures, but someone not as private as a private residence. OR... she could introduce her BF to this friend, and they could view the pics together.
And not for nothing, but if I had 1,800 photos of a "grand tour," I sure as heck wouldn't want to sit through showing people more than once. I'd just post the best ones to my FB or a photosharing site and point people to them.
How many of you find absolutely nothing wrong with hanging out with opposite sex friends in one on one situations while in an exclusive relationship?
And, how many of you are ok or not ok with that friendship behavior from your significant other?
So basically, in a situatuation such as this:
My girlfriend at the time wanted to hang out, one on one, with a friend to see some photos he took while on vacation in Europe. This hang out was to occur at the guys house (he supposedly lives with his mom still....) This guy is someone I dont know at all, but she had mentioned he was quite the "ladies man"...
Is this normal? Was the ex girlfriend pushing acceptable relationship boundries?
Ladies, what if the role was reversed? How would you feel if your BF went over to another womans place "to look at photos"?
There was never any intention of inviting me along. My exGF thought there was nothing wrong with what she wanted to do. "you should trust me more" she said.
Oh, and this "picture date" was set up through facebook chatting, which ended up with my exGF at the time giving this "friend" her phone number. ExGf told the guy, "text/call me".
Is this whole scenerio something I should be concerned about, or do I just need to trust that this "picture date" wouldn't have turned into something more between these two?
If youve purposely committed to a one on one Dating relationship with someone , then you both do everything possible to protect, nurture, and make it special. If youre going to spend alot of time with the opposite sex on a casual basis...chances are eventually your Dating Relationship is going to get threatened , you will find yourself being drawn to another woman youve chosen to hang with too much , and you will cause feelings of insecurity and jealousy to develop in your Dating Partner. All of this is disengenuous. That said, there is nothing wrong with maintaining the friends you have before you entered into a Dating Relationship on a somewhat limited basis AND to make sure your Dating Partner is fully aware and is permissive with you doing that --- if your Dating Partner is not, then you need to reconcile that issue with your Dating Partner or return your Dating Partner back to a non commital friendship out of respect. Another option might be to introduce your Dating Partner to all the friends you have so your Dating Partner doesnt feel left out and so she knows whos who in your life .
When we are in a committed Dating Relationship with someone, we must absolutely strive for complete honesty, openness , integrity, fairness , and considering anothers feelings . If we are not willing to do this to the uttermost, then we should refrain from exclusive Dating until we are.
She met this guy cause this guy slept with her sister a couple times. (Her and her sis are roomates)
I guess it has been a couple years my exgf has known this guy. He is kinda a part of her social circle, but not there partying/meeting up every weekend like some of the group
So again, she knew him for a couple of years and this was going to be a one time hang out for a specific purpose - I just don't get the paranoia
I had two good friends when I was younger that were male. Mostly we didn't hang around alone..more in larger groups. I wouldn't have wanted anyone to tell me I couldn't hang out with them.
well you already dump her anyway or is it the other way around? and if she did and she is now with the dude in your scenario then isn't it safe to say you already know the answer to your own question based on experience?
what's the point of this if you are not with the girl anymore anyway?
The point is this: I am challenging myself. Am I wrong here to be jealous? Is this part of the reason I am 34 and single? I try to grow as a person. I liked this woman, loved even. we had troubles though. Am I too untrusting? Was this worth being extremely upset about? I am trying to learn from this experience. Maybe I should not be in such a hurry to assume the worst, but jeez this situation just didnt sound good to me originally.
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