Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
And not for nothing, but if I had 1,800 photos of a "grand tour," I sure as heck wouldn't want to sit through showing people more than once. I'd just post the best ones to my FB or a photosharing site and point people to them.
While I don't disagree, I do know folks who are really into photography that enjoy showcasing their work for their friends.
In other words, they want to be there when people are looking at them to point out interesting features or back stories about the photos.
Its about what is going to work for you and your personal values.
I would not date someone like that or do that to someone I was dating.
At most I would invite the person I was dating along.
Solo hang-outs...no go
There are million threads in here of why its a bad idea. There are people out there that have more conservative values and don't think mixing genders on that level of closeness is a good idea.
Find one of those chicks and hope she doesn't cheat on you. At least you won't be constantly questioning it and compromising your values 24/7.
People will sling mud and call you insecure and all that other trash. Ignore it and be true to yourself and your values.
So again, she knew him for a couple of years and this was going to be a one time hang out for a specific purpose - I just don't get the paranoia
I fear this is one of those rare times when you and I see it differently, chica.
It sounds to me like both the guy and the exGF are a bit smarmy. Put it to you this way: I have sisters, and if one of them slept with a guy a couple of times, I couldn't imagine anything more awkward than being invited alone to his place, myself--except for maybe actually going.
The point is this: I am challenging myself. Am I wrong here to be jealous? Is this part of the reason I am 34 and single? I try to grow as a person. I liked this woman, loved even. we had troubles though. Am I too untrusting? Was this worth being extremely upset about? I am trying to learn from this experience. Maybe I should not be in such a hurry to assume the worst, but jeez this situation just didnt sound good to me originally.
First of all, jealousy is just a feeling - like many other feelings. And feelings are never wrong or right, they just are
What you DO with the feelings is what can be wrong or right okay?
Anytime you let your feelings rule you, you are off balance.
And balance is the key to all good things
At your age and stage of development you should be working toward controlling your feelings so that they don't control you.
I am impressed that you are trying to challenge yourself and learn something from your past experience.
Learning the lessons in any difficult situation allows us to have better experiences in future relationships.
No offense, but I would have said you were 19 or 20 from your attitude.
How old are you? Are you single, married, divorced? (I assume you are a woman)
And by reading some of the other comments on this thread, I would have to disagree with your opinion of me a little bit. You are obviously on the extreme other end of the spectrum on comfort level with this thread write up compared to me. i am not attacking you, maybe it is time for me to change some, but I think answering the above questions would help me get a handle more of where you are coming from.
How old are you? Are you single, married, divorced? (I assume you are a woman)
And by reading some of the other comments on this thread, I would have to disagree with your opinion of me a little bit. You are obviously on the extreme other end of the spectrum on comfort level with this thread write up compared to me. i am not attacking you, maybe it is time for me to change some, but I think answering the above questions would help me get a handle more of where you are coming from.
Over 40, woman, happily married.
Wasn't trying to upset you, just always call 'em like I see'em - you sounded much younger than 34 to me in your first few posts.
How many of you find absolutely nothing wrong with hanging out with opposite sex friends in one on one situations while in an exclusive relationship?
Quote:
Originally Posted by AverageGuy2006
And, how many of you are ok or not ok with that friendship behavior from your significant other? So basically, in a situatuation such as this: My girlfriend at the time wanted to hang out, one on one, with a friend to see some photos he took while on vacation in Europe. This hang out was to occur at the guys house (he supposedly lives with his mom still....) This guy is someone I dont know at all, but she had mentioned he was quite the "ladies man"... Is this normal? Was the ex girlfriend pushing acceptable relationship boundries? Ladies, what if the role was reversed? How would you feel if your BF went over to another womans place "to look at photos"? There was never any intention of inviting me along. My exGF thought there was nothing wrong with what she wanted to do. "you should trust me more" she said. Oh, and this "picture date" was set up through facebook chatting, which ended up with my exGF at the time giving this "friend" her phone number. ExGf told the guy, "text/call me". Is this whole scenerio something I should be concerned about, or do I just need to trust that this "picture date" wouldn't have turned into something more between these two?
She needs to tell the guy to come on over to your house and you'll all enjoy the photos together. That's the proper thing to do. She should have thought of that right away.
There's no need for her to go to his place and be alone with him.
My wife has male friends and I have female friends. It's never come up about being apart with opposite sex friends - we just both have mutual brains and respect for each other to know that that is wrong!
This guy, the one with the pictures, should have thought of this without hesitation if he had no other motive.
Me? I'd tell the guy that he's welcome to drop by sometime and we'll see his photos....and if he finds anything wrong with that then he can shove it where the sun don't shine.
Wasn't trying to upset you, just always call 'em like I see'em - you sounded much younger than 34 to me in your first few posts.
I appreciate the honesty. I rather be wrong and know it, and become better for it, as opposed to being wrong and having the people around me not tell me because they think I can't handle it or whatever. I doesn't make sense to me to be "right", but alone, compared to "wrong", and learn, grow, and give myself a better opportunity to be with someone and have a happier life.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
