Should I move to find love? (dates, how to, girls, engagement)
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I do look young for my age, and I wonder if that's part of the problem? men only wany 20 year olds? I'm open to dating younbger or older. I get passed by for reasons I wish I knew.
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Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Do you by any chance look young for your age? We've had members here who looked extremely young for their age, so guys their age passed them by, thinking they were high school students. I've also read about women who make an effort to be attractive, only to discover later on that the guys she was interested in felt she was "out of their league". Sometimes there's no accounting for these things.
Now there's a thought: what if you had a friend observe you on a date? Kind of like a hidden camera/eavesdrop sort of thing? Or what about a setup with a FOAF so that you can have a brutally honest post-mortem afterwards? You may be doing something that is getting received differently from you you're sending out, and you wouldn't know because the guys aren't giving you any feedback.
Not really, but perhaps she needs to tweak her standards accordingly. If you look like something that fell out of yodas pocket, chances are prince charming aint coming any time soon.
BTW...ive cancelled a blind date before, because a chick I was being set up with, told me through a mutual friend that she was serious about it. Not all men want only sex, but wanting to be serious with a guy before you even meet him, is a definite red flag. Why not just keep thing light and casual until you can tell if you two are even compatible? Its not like you have to jump into dudes bed on your first date.
well now according to these men, they don't like the supermodel types and they don't like the 'ugly' types. so who knows anymore.
I assume OP wasn't talking about walking up to a man and asking him to propose to her. I assume obviously she would go into the situation hoping for some kind of connection, but acting like you're not looking for a serious relationship when you are, is pointless to me. All it does, IMO, is make the guy think you're interested then in other kinds of relationships when you're not....and I don't understand you cancelling a date because the girl was 'serious' about the date. But like I said, most of them aren't interested in anything serious anyways.
I do keep things light and casual, and that's not good enough. If I like the guy, sometimes I feel flirty or touchy, and that's not good enough. So see, no matter what "message" I send out-nothing seems to be good enough or it's too much, or not enough, etc etc etc!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012
Not really, but perhaps she needs to tweak her standards accordingly. If you look like something that fell out of yodas pocket, chances are prince charming aint coming any time soon.
BTW...ive cancelled a blind date before, because a chick I was being set up with, told me through a mutual friend that she was serious about it. Not all men want only sex, but wanting to be serious with a guy before you even meet him, is a definite red flag. Why not just keep things light and casual until you can tell if the two of you are even compatible? Its not like you have to jump into dudes bed on your first date.
Well, I think I'm ok to look at. I have a picture on here. I've gotten asked out before so I must not be a total ogre!
I wonder if a guy friend would be totally objective? they would already know my personality and since there's no relationship interest in my guy friend, would he necessarily pick up on anything?
Well, youre definitely attractive, so it has to be something else - which is rather odd, since looks mean a ton for a woman. It could be something that youre projecting during your initial meeting or conversation, that tells guys not to persue things any further. Bringing up any serious topics like marriage, kids, serious relationships, talking about exes etc etc, is always a no-no but i have a feeling you are fully aware of that. Body language is a biggie, and guys often pick up on it consciously or otherwise. Or perhaps, you just need to continue trying and the right guy will come along on your next date. I know it can be frustrating, but giving up is never an option.
great points! my problem is just finding an initial connection. I feel I don't even know what to do. I can't be myself, I can't pretend to be someone else, jeez! what to do??
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Originally Posted by Doll Eyes
well now according to these men, they don't like the supermodel types and they don't like the 'ugly' types. so who knows anymore.
I assume OP wasn't talking about walking up to a man and asking him to propose to her. I assume obviously she would go into the situation hoping for some kind of connection, but acting like you're not looking for a serious relationship when you are, is pointless to me. All it does, IMO, is make the guy think you're interested then in other kinds of relationships when you're not....and I don't understand you cancelling a date because the girl was 'serious' about the date. But like I said, most of them aren't interested in anything serious anyways.
great points! my problem is just finding an initial connection. I feel I don't even know what to do. I can't be myself, I can't pretend to be someone else, jeez! what to do??
has this been a problem all your life? I don't know how old you are. Have you lived in Denver all your life?
thanks. I try to convey the body language appropriate for the situation. I think guys like it when you touch them, so if I like the guy and conversation, etc, I may tough his arm, just a show of interest. It doesn't mean I'm jumping in the sack with you, it just means, "hey, that was a funny thing you said", or "I agree" or something. I lean in, I listen to what they're saying, etc. I don't think I'm doing anything desparate or "let's get married now" or anything like that. I don't talk exes, sex, kids, or other "no no's" on a date!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012
Well, youre definitely attractive, so it has to be something else - which is rather odd, since looks mean a ton for a woman. It could be something that youre projecting during your initial meeting or conversation, that tells guys not to persue things any further. Bringing up any serious topics like marriage, kids, serious relationships, talking about exes etc etc, is always a no-no but i have a feeling you are fully aware of that. Body language is a biggie, and guys often pick up on it consciously or otherwise. Or perhaps, you just need to continue trying and the right guy will come along on your next date. I know it can be frustrating, but giving up is never an option.
Yes, I've tried asking friends if they know someone, but they don't come up with anything. I don't even really have a close network of friends here, mostly work acquaintences. So maybe they don't know me well enough I guess.
Bolded emphasis is mine. This is a bit of a red flag to me. How long have you been there? Why don't you have close friends? Do you perhaps give of a vibe of being too independent? IME, that's a bit of a turnoff for lots of guys.
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