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Old 07-05-2012, 12:16 PM
 
2,618 posts, read 5,924,399 times
Reputation: 2109

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I'm bored at work today, so I'm going to have some fun with the cliche things that half the women in the world put on their dating profile:

"What is your favorite food? Anything, I'll eat anything." (How about a bowl of cockroaches?)

"Favorite music: I listen to everything, seriously everything, I have a very ECLECTIC TASTE" (How about hardcore black death metal? Is that eclectic enough for you?)

"Favorite movies: I love movies, love them all" (you love ALL of them? really?)

"On a typical friday night what do you like to do? I like to hang out, go out, go to restaurants, fun places....I'm up for anything" (Up for anything huh, how about swimming in shark infested waters? I hear that's pretty fun this time of year, are you UP for that?)

"I'm looking for someone to explore the city with" (It's a big city, and if you've been all over the northside then you'd explored as much as you need to see, otherwise you may want to carry a firearm or at least a can of mace. Needless to say I'm not exploring streets, sidewalks, and concrete buildings with you, they have them in my neighborhood I can just look at those.)

"I love to laugh" (I hate laughing, I actually frown when I laugh)

"I live life to the fullest" (I actually only try to get half out of my life, you know leave some room when I die to say "aww man I never got to....")

"I'm looking for someone who is ____, _____, AND ATTRACTIVE" (oops, not me, I don't think I'm attractive, so I guess I don't fit her list of criteria. I'll just rule myself out....or I'll just send an email anyway because it costs me nothing).

"I'm kind of a quirky girl" (Why would someone ever admit that?)

"I'm TOTALLY into nerds, I really want to date a nerd" (No you don't, you're just saying that to sound different, but by even saying this which you think is different, you're actually being very non-different.)

"If you're a republican then we're not a good fit." (I'm not a republican, but this statement makes me think we're not a good fit anyway. I too look for ways to eliminate over half my dating pool with one stupid comment, but I have yet to find something more effective than this one.)

"I'd much rather go to a hole in the wall bar than a dance club" (You and everyone else. Which explains the insane amount of hole in the wall bars in the city and only a dozen dance clubs in this city).

"You should message me if: Umm, how about DON'T message me if..." (How about don't worry about it.)

"I spend a lot of time thinking about: The future, what I'm going to do next" (Who doesn't? I really hope you think about that once in a while, pretty sure no one can function without thinking at least 1 minute into the future.)

"I'm not looking to just hook up" (Something tells me you're sick of hooking up, which means you probably hooked up a lot recently.....skank.)

"On a typical friday night I am: Usually out with friends or relaxing on the couch" (I'm usually just sitting or standing....sometimes lying down.)

"I like to discuss deep subjects, even politics, I can handle myself in a good debate" (Until I bring up abortion, then you'll get emotionally invested in the conversation and if I don't agree with you you'll get angry with me and probably never go out with me again. I'll probably just avoid discussing anything deep with you on the first few dates.)

"Body Type: Curvy" (Out of shape and if not considered fat today, you will be in a couple years.)

"I hate this part about describing myself" (I have a hard time thinking of ways to lie too, I think it's something called a CONSCIENCE that gets in the way which makes it so difficult. That and if I go out with you a few times I'll probably figure out you lied.)
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Old 07-05-2012, 12:28 PM
 
Location: NY
9,131 posts, read 18,322,581 times
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Funny

The first few, with the ambiquous "I like everything" responses just tell me she doesn't know what she likes or wants... or she is hoping to hide it so as not to eliminate interest from guys.
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Old 07-05-2012, 12:36 PM
 
Location: Reno, NV
5,916 posts, read 9,846,002 times
Reputation: 10423
LOL Yes, I've read a lot of profiles with similar descriptions and phrasing. Mostly, I think they're used by people who have no clue what they want and have no idea what they have to offer - perhaps very little? - yet don't want to exclude anyone from their potential dating pool. How awful it would be to give a clear answer, yet thereby greatly limit the number of responses. *Gasp* they might not have a date this weekend if they did.

On the other hand, answers that limit your dating pool means that it's more likely that you'll get far fewer responses, but more of them may be from people with whom you share real interests and values!
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Old 07-05-2012, 12:38 PM
 
1,754 posts, read 2,348,343 times
Reputation: 3664
Dude is an out of control, loose cannon. Yikes to any poor women he runs across.
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Old 07-05-2012, 12:53 PM
 
2,618 posts, read 5,924,399 times
Reputation: 2109
Quote:
Originally Posted by cwamjn View Post
Dude is an out of control, loose cannon. Yikes to any poor women he runs across.
Yeah, women hate guys with a sarcastic sense of humor....
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Old 07-05-2012, 01:00 PM
 
Location: Canada
11,201 posts, read 10,766,922 times
Reputation: 27547
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
LOL Yes, I've read a lot of profiles with similar descriptions and phrasing. Mostly, I think they're used by people who have no clue what they want and have no idea what they have to offer - perhaps very little? - yet don't want to exclude anyone from their potential dating pool. How awful it would be to give a clear answer, yet thereby greatly limit the number of responses. *Gasp* they might not have a date this weekend if they did.

On the other hand, answers that limit your dating pool means that it's more likely that you'll get far fewer responses, but more of them may be from people with whom you share real interests and values!
^^^Bingo!

I'd be hesitant to list superficial things like favourite movies and musical preferences for fear of eliminating quality people over something that doesn't need to be shared common ground between us. I imagine my SO and I would have missed out on each other if we were online dating and had our musical preferences listed.
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Old 07-05-2012, 01:03 PM
 
14,378 posts, read 16,999,027 times
Reputation: 43001
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdubs3201 View Post
Yeah, women hate guys with a sarcastic sense of humor....
Actually, it kind of comes off as kind of cruel. People are doing the best they can on these things, and you seem pretty willing to eviscerate them for it. I don't think my answers resemble the ones you parody for the most part, but your approximation mainly seems to skewer people who are trying very hard to put their best foot forward. Those folks do get some credit for even putting themselves out there. The answers you mock are by no means even close to some of the offensive things I've seen on OKC.

I could show you 20 profiles by men that would put a first-time online dater off the entire gender.
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Old 07-05-2012, 01:27 PM
 
Location: 'Murica
1,302 posts, read 2,748,548 times
Reputation: 828
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
Actually, it kind of comes off as kind of cruel. People are doing the best they can on these things, and you seem pretty willing to eviscerate them for it. I don't think my answers resemble the ones you parody for the most part, but your approximation mainly seems to skewer people who are trying very hard to put their best foot forward. Those folks do get some credit for even putting themselves out there. The answers you mock are by no means even close to some of the offensive things I've seen on OKC.

I could show you 20 profiles by men that would put a first-time online dater off the entire gender.
Definitely. A profile that aims to appeal to a wide variety of people is much better to read than a negative and demanding one.

The ones that I'm tired of seeing are the over-used quotes and sayings like "Live Love Laugh", as if that's supposed to give an impression that you lead a fulfilling and interesting life. But the very worst one is when women use the quote attributed to Marilyn Monroe "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best". To me, that reeks of an excuse to act like a spoiled and stuck up brat, and that guys are supposed to feel privileged that you're gracing them with your obnixious presence.
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Old 07-05-2012, 01:48 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 32,729,111 times
Reputation: 19775
Well, I AM quirky and happy to admit it. Nerds? Love em!
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Old 07-05-2012, 01:51 PM
 
14,378 posts, read 16,999,027 times
Reputation: 43001
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vinsanity View Post
Definitely. A profile that aims to appeal to a wide variety of people is much better to read than a negative and demanding one.

The ones that I'm tired of seeing are the over-used quotes and sayings like "Live Love Laugh", as if that's supposed to give an impression that you lead a fulfilling and interesting life. But the very worst one is when women use the quote attributed to Marilyn Monroe "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best". To me, that reeks of an excuse to act like a spoiled and stuck up brat, and that guys are supposed to feel privileged that you're gracing them with your obnixious presence.
Oh god, no, no, no. Please no. Please tell me you haven't seen that more than one profile. Please?
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