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I'm not married, but i was reading an article about this topic, about married men who don't get enough sex from their wives. This is making me very reluctant to ever get married.
Does this happen for biology reasons? Do men always want sex more than women?
Or does this happen because the man doesn't do a good enough job making the woman feel special? Do married men just get lazy and stop doing the romantic things they did to win over the woman in the first place?
I'm a woman and can only speak for myself. My sex drive is high high high. But if a man is not "present" or gets too comfortable..my desire for him starts to wane. The gift of marriage should be comfort, true..but one should not get so comfortable that either is being take for granted.
It happens for some of the reasons you mention, and many more. If a woman is on the pill or antidepressants, it can affect her libido. If there are kids, they get in the way, obviously. Men don't always want more sex than women, there are women who have huge sex drives (we had a thread on whether men or women had stronger drives, maybe you could find it...) Some women who come from a really conservative or religious background might have a rebellious phase, but underneath, they're still brainwashed by their upbringing. So a guy who meets one during her "rumspringa" phase and thinks she's really hot will be disappointed when after marriage, she settles down and morphs back into her mom and dad's good girl, or the sedate society matron.
Both halves of the couple need to make a little effort to maintain the heat in a relationship. By letting the other know they care, by planning little surprises, like flowers, a love note hidden in a suit jacket, or cooking a the other's favorite meal, and by maintaining good communication, and not allowing stress to come between them. By planning alone time with each other regularly, and date time. By not taking each other for granted.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 09-08-2012 at 10:20 PM..
complacency seems to be the main reason for this, in all aspects.
personally i dont have the issue after 10 years but i know a lot of married couples who dont even seem to care anymore (if they ever did past the first 2 years of bliss)
I know of 3 cases where the men complained they were not getting enough. The following are my thoughts on this, but I am not a female, so don't know. Women please comment on these...
1. The guys "tool" when "extended" was the size of your little finger. And the guy's wife did not want to have anything to do with him, but frequently cheated on him with other men. So she wanted sex, but perhaps was not satisfied with him due to his small size? I don't know?
2. This guy was typical size, but he got off *very* quickly. Like in 15 or 30 seconds. His wife frequently was not interested. And women I have known seem to prefer 15 to 30 minutes as opposed to seconds. They would get ticked at something like that. (There is "male desensitizing cream" you can get at a drugstore.) So is short duration a reason to say no?
3. Then the 3rd guy, normal size, but he wanted it many times each night. The problem with the wife was, she was not "lubricating", so sex hurt her. She said no frequently. The solution to that problem was to get plenty of that lubricant at the drug store or an adult store, but neither of them thought of that!
1) I would never marry someone with a "little finger"
2) I would never marry someone who it takes 30 seconds to finish
3) I don't have that problem
The bottom line here is that if you don't rock my world in the bedroom, why would I even bother to marry you?? I'd just end up unhappy and leave you anyways to find something better..
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