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I've noticed that as well. If she's pretty, it's not a problem. I would have thought the frumpy unattached single woman would be the easier sell, but IRL that isn't what I see happening.
Yep, and when complaining about 'single moms' they're definitely not complaining about the ones that still look good in yoga pants.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaye Star
If that's the only reason those men are dating women, that's called superficiality.
Well of course...but looks are extremely important to many men and they will overlook a woman having a child or two if she's pretty enough.
Oddly the dads I dated and the ones who contacted me on sites were all average to below average look wise. I often wonder how I would feel if they were handsome. Then again all of the dads I knew were broke so even if they were handsome it wouldn't matter.
I don't think kids is the reason of the deal breaker, It is the drama and potential problems associate with the kids' live. e.g. baby mama drama
If a parent knows how to balance his or her kids and the new spouse, things will and can work out beautifully, but if the single parent has this astonishing sense of entitlement, expect the new spouse to be a doormat, well good luck. you gonna need a man or a woman with zero self esteem. Reality is reality. Nobody are willing to take the back seat for the rest of their lives.
I personally have dated one single father, things did not work out for different reasons, but I absolutely felt blessed by this relationship because I've learned a lot. My sister is another case. The single father has this "the world owes me and my kids" mentality and attitude comes from nowhere. He is demanding and obnoxious, his kid is a potential bully and masss shooter in the making (abuse little animals at very early age, showed absolutely no emotions when relating other people, etc)
No, the kids are the deal-breaker. All the accompanying drama can be easily eliminated by not getting involved with breeders, regardless of gender.
No kids, no drama. At least not of the nature you describe. Head the whole shootin' match off at the pass.
Ya know, it's funny when I hear people say that single parents should date each other...because I know a few single Moms and it's NEVER been an issue for them to date childless men. I mean, one had 2 boyfriends while she was pregnant, and now is in a long term relationship with another guy. Of course, these women are really really attractive and it's amazing how many men will 'overlook' the child thing if the woman in question is pretty enough.
That's only because most men do far too much thinking with the little head. If they had anything in the big head but frozen vacuum, the little head might not think so much but since most men have all the brains of a chameleon (I'm a man with no more brains than that but I STILL won't ever be involved with a breeder), they go after pretty much anything with a hole that doesn't look like Roseanne Barr or Rosie O'Donnell.
That's only because most men do far too much thinking with the little head. If they had anything in the big head but frozen vacuum, the little head might not think so much but since most men have all the brains of a chameleon (I'm a man with no more brains than that but I STILL won't ever be involved with a breeder), they go after pretty much anything with a hole that doesn't look like Roseanne Barr or Rosie O'Donnell.
Some men are even into those types of women too (I call them desperate men). Anyway, some women are so desperate to have a man they take a single dad and often complain he doesn't have enough time or money for them but want someone so bad so they won't be alone. Personally I'd rather be alone than date a dad. This whole "you can't help who you fall in love with is often told by people desperate who want others to be mad like they are". You can help who you fall in love with.
Kids are "the" deal breaker for people who just don't like kids or if the kids themselves are brats. For people that otherwise like kids or don't have a problem with them, drama becomes the deal breaker. It's possible for people to like another person's kids, but dislike the jealousy or hostility of an ex who thinks you're trying to "replace/compete with" them, and acts accordingly.
As an aside, it's fine to admit if we don't like kids or the drama involved, but just because we're childless doesn't mean we don't have skeletons in the closet or an elephant in the room... .
Kids are "the" deal breaker for people who just don't like kids or if the kids themselves are brats. For people that otherwise like kids or don't have a problem with them, drama becomes the deal breaker. It's possible for people to like another person's kids, but dislike the jealousy or hostility of an ex who thinks you're trying to "replace/compete with" them, and acts accordingly.
As an aside, it's fine to admit if we don't like kids or the drama involved, but just because we're childless doesn't mean we don't have skeletons in the closet or an elephant in the room... .
The drama and financial aspects are why I never date men with kids but way too often people accuse me of hating kids which upsets me. They often don't realize that the ex can cause trouble and often does, especially if they didn't want the breakup.
The drama and financial aspects are why I never date men with kids but way too often people accuse me of hating kids which upsets me. They often don't realize that the ex can cause trouble and often does, especially if they didn't want the breakup.
My comment was just a general one. As someone who knows several single parents, it's really a case by case basis: Not everyone's situation is the same. Certainly I've seen catty exes, and step-kid step-parent issues, but I've also seen exes who are otherwise civil to each other, and a fair amount of childless people who married single and divorced parents who treat the children just fine or even just as if they were their own.
My comment was just a general one. As someone who knows several single parents, it's really a case by case basis: Not everyone's situation is the same. Certainly I've seen catty exes, and step-kid step-parent issues, but I've also seen exes who are otherwise civil to each other, and a fair amount of childless people who married single and divorced parents who treat the children just fine or even just as if they were their own.
I took it as a general one but sadly the drama I have seen far outweighs the civil ones. I know a couple of people who get along with their exes and so do their new spouses but generally these are situations where the divorce was pretty amicable and the kids were grown. I had a few extreme situations I encountered and from talking to people I know who married parents all had the same problems.
I don't think it's at all fair for me to have to raise some other lazy a$$holes kids. I'm 30 years old and I have been VERY careful not to get any woman pregnant. I don't want kids. Not now, not ever. Every single time I bring this up I get told what an a$$hole I am for not wanting to date single mothers. Yup that's me. I'm just a big jerk.
I'm through saying sorry for this. On the other side however, my position has really cut my dating options down because in 2014 I rarely meet a girl who doesn't have kids.
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Why kids area deal breaker for me.
