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What seems lost here is that it's not just the number of guys...it's that she let herself be passed around like a used-up sex doll by a bunch of frat boy D-bags. To me, that would be vastly different than if she had the same # of partners but more in the context of relationships.
EXACTLY!! great post
Most normal, mature guys don't care about how many relationships a girl has been in. 1 , 10 ,20 who cares! It's life..and its HEALTHY. But NO GUY wants to hear what this OP heard...geez. Damn. I honestly feel for the OP. Sorry, we can all say just ignore it..but the bottom line is knowing (well after the fact because of the lying) the person you are intimate with acted in this way would bother many guys. The women who lambast him have no connection to the mental images that are going through his head because they CANNOT relate to it. Its deeper than the physical act..its knowing she was used and abused by a bunch of dirtbags for 4 years.
Only way to avoid letting this bother you is to NOT ASK. I recommend this to the OP in the future. Once this cat is out of the bag, its never going back in.
It seems that more than the number itself is the deception behind it. I agree the past is the past BUT WHEN ASKED you shouldn't lie to your future spouse no matter how bad it is. The lie is, in some respects, worse than what she was lying about.
And this I agree with. The red flag for her should have been when he asked her how many partners she's had b/c if he asks, it matters. Better to tell the truth or just move on b/c what's done is done and she can't change it now.
BTW, did anyone get that all the other girls in the sorority were doing the same thing? Not that it's any excuse and wouldn't fly with me as a parent but she's not exactly a freak either.
It's kind of amazing to me that there are still so many people out there who are of the opinion that "my sexual past is none of a present partner's business."
Sexually transmitted disease either must mean nothing to people, or people are very, very naive about what they may or may not be exposed to.
And this I agree with. The red flag for her should have been when he asked her how many partners she's had b/c if he asks, it matters. Better to tell the truth or just move on b/c what's done is done and she can't change it now.
BTW, did anyone get that all the other girls in the sorority were doing the same thing? Not that it's any excuse and wouldn't fly with me as a parent but she's not exactly a freak either.
It's kind of amazing to me that there are still so many people out there who are of the opinion that "my sexual past is none of a present partner's business."
Sexually transmitted disease either must mean nothing to people, or people are very, very naive about what they may or may not be exposed to.
Yeah it kind of shocks me as well. Maybe they are the women that are in their late 30s and up with regards to age? They didnt have to deal with the amount of STDs and the higher percent and number of people having them when they started having having sex in their teens through their 20s.
I am in my late 20s and every relationship I have been in we have discussed sexual histories, same goes with the friends that I have talked to about this since I have read some of the comments in this thread.
Maybe its a reason why STDs are so rampant in todays society? Because people dont discuss their sexual histories with their partners?
Yeah it kind of shocks me as well. Maybe they are the women that are in their late 30s and up with regards to age? They didnt have to deal with the amount of STDs and the higher percent and number of people having them when they started having having sex in their teens through their 20s.
I am in my late 20s and every relationship I have been in we have discussed sexual histories, same goes with the friends that I have talked to about this since I have read some of the comments in this thread.
Maybe its a reason why STDs are so rampant in todays society? Because people dont discuss their sexual histories with their partners?
I'd say wrong. I am older than the op' and his ex gf. I grew up knowing about HIV, and the latter's. Of course at that time HIV was a death sentence. So, I don't agree with anything you just said. Aids/ HIV has been around a long time now. In fact the thought of it was much worse in the eighties and early nineties. It was considered a death sentence back then. Today, people live much longer on it with medicine. I'm glad you're smart enough however to talk about these things with your partner. If we all took this approach, maybe the world would be much safer. As far as std's are concerned. Of course many partners lie, so getting tested should be the main goal/ focus.
I think the consensus is that because medicine is helping people live much longer, people have fallen back into the idea that sex is safe again. Actually reported cases of Hiv/ Aids is up in the last few years because people have a false sense of security. I saw this on a "reputable" show about a few weeks ago. It's even more prevelant among homosexuals.
Last edited by supermanpansy; 03-31-2013 at 09:38 AM..
I'd say wrong. I am older than the op' and his ex gf. I grew up knowing about HIV, and the latter's. Of course at that time HIV was a death sentence. So, I don't agree with anything you just said. Aids/ HIV has been around a long time now. In fact the thought of it was worse in the eighties and early nineties. It was considered a death sentence. Today, people live much longer on it with medicine. I'm glad you're smart enouhg to talk about these things with your partner. If we all took this approach, the world would be much safer. As far as std's are concerned. Of course many partners lie, so getting tested should be the main goal/ focus.
I think the consensus is that because medicine is helping people live longer, people have fallen back into the idea that sex is safe again. Actually reported cases of Hiv/ Aids is up in the last few years because people have a false sense of community. I saw this on a "reputable" show about a few weeks ago. It's even more prevelent among homosexuals.
Its much more than just HIV/AIDS. Also it doesnt matter if HIV/AIDS isnt a death sentance anymore it is still something that people should be worried about. Saying that HIV/AIDS isnt a death sentance, that you will live longer on it in todays society almost sounds like you are downplaying it.
Also its not just HIV/AIDS, there is chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis, genital warts, and herpes. You might have had all of these STDs back then but did you have them at the rates we have them at today? Did you have the amount of infected that we have today?
All it would of taken was one of those frat guys to have herpes and then she could of spread herpes to 30+ people. It is how the OPs ex and her sorority sistsers and the fraternity guys acted during her college years that we have the STD problems that we have today.
Its much more than just HIV/AIDS. Also it doesnt matter if HIV/AIDS isnt a death sentance anymore it is still something that people should be worried about. Saying that HIV/AIDS isnt a death sentance, that you will live longer on it in todays society almost sounds like you are downplaying it.
Also its not just HIV/AIDS, there is chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis, genital warts, and herpes. You might have had all of these STDs back then but did you have them at the rates we have them at today? Did you have the amount of infected that we have today?
All it would of taken was one of those frat guys to have herpes and then she could of spread herpes to 30+ people. It is how the OPs ex and her sorority sistsers and the fraternity guys acted during her college years that we have the STD problems that we have today.
I never said that there weren't more std's than just HIV. I just used them as good examples. I also never said that people shouldn't be worried about it. Did you even read my post?? In fact the not worrying about it, is precisely why the rates have gone up in the last few years. Because people are getting a false sense of security, since many people are living longer with it.
Last edited by supermanpansy; 03-31-2013 at 09:42 AM..
"ur seriously retarded and its pretty clear youre a **** yourself lol"
You're only proving my point. I take it you're aiming to get banned?
Report that **** and we can all look forward to having one less congenital cretin here at CD
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