Women 23-32: Do You Prefer Much Older Men or Men just a few years older? (friend, romantic)
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And unless the younger woman has serious daddy issues, she is not going to be attracted to a regular (non celeb, non powerful business tycoon) over 50 year old guy
There are plenty of girls who fall for older men. I see no reason to think this means they have "issues" of any kind - let alone specifically "Daddy issues". We are attracted to who we are attracted to - it is not a choice we get to make - and we can not automatically assume "issues" on every person who ends up attracted to something that does not fit some personal misconception of what the norm is.
There are plenty of girls who fall for older men. I see no reason to think this means they have "issues" of any kind - let alone specifically "Daddy issues". We are attracted to who we are attracted to - it is not a choice we get to make - and we can not automatically assume "issues" on every person who ends up attracted to something that does not fit some personal misconception of what the norm is.
Key word "OLDER" not old
Are you saying a 18 year old can genuinely find a 80 year old man to be physically attractive and emotionally stimulating.
People always say, "stop judging, we cannot help whom we are attracted to." seemingly noble excuse, however, The duck test is a humorous term for a form of inductive reasoning.
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.
If the 18 year old falls in "love" with a 81 year old, I think it is safe to assume she is either a gold digger or has grandpa or daddy issues.
It may be the key word for you - it certainly was not the key word in the point I am making. People fall for other people all the time and there are no limits on the age - race - creed - or other attributes to who - where - and how - it can happen. While clearly less common than finding someone of your own age - it is far from unheard of for people of wildly differing ages to find love with each other.
But alas we are from a judgemental species - one that is not happy to merely rejoice that two hearts have found the light of love in a dark work - but instead have to second guess and judge peoples choices of partner. Even going so far - as we have seen - to suggest that such people must have "issues" to have chosen the partner(s) they have.
The "thinking" - and I use that term in the loosest possible sense here because it is anything but - is basically "I certainly would not be attracted to such a person thefore if that person is there must be something _wrong_ with them.". The all too human mentality of "If I do not like it then no one should" that permeates thread after thread on forums such as these.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981
Are you saying a 18 year old can genuinely find a 80 year old man to be physically attractive and emotionally stimulating.
I am saying that there is no accounting for what any individual human heart will do - or where it will find love - and that someone finding love in a place that we may not in no way licenses one to declare they must have "issues".
It may be the key word for you - it certainly was not the key word in the point I am making. People fall for other people all the time and there are no limits on the age - race - creed - or other attributes to who - where - and how - it can happen. While clearly less common than finding someone of your own age - it is far from unheard of for people of wildly differing ages to find love with each other.
But alas we are from a judgemental species - one that is not happy to merely rejoice that two hearts have found the light of love in a dark work - but instead have to second guess and judge peoples choices of partner. Even going so far - as we have seen - to suggest that such people must have "issues" to have chosen the partner(s) they have.
The "thinking" - and I use that term in the loosest possible sense here because it is anything but - is basically "I certainly would not be attracted to such a person thefore if that person is there must be something _wrong_ with them.". The all too human mentality of "If I do not like it then no one should" that permeates thread after thread on forums such as these.
I am saying that there is no accounting for what any individual human heart will do - or where it will find love - and that someone finding love in a place that we may not in no way licenses one to declare they must have "issues".
Your reasoning, argument or whatever you like to call it is the prime example why do I and a lot of people I know believe political correctness has gone way way too far in modern society.
"People fall for other people all the time and there are no limits on the age - race - creed - or other attributes to who - where - and how - it can happen" What a seemingly noble statement! You thought you threw "RACE" in the argument, your statement just all of sudden seems so flawless. Let's not forget about the fact you call the last girl you've dated a "fat white girl". Judgmental much? I'll let you slide for that one because we've all said something not very "politically correct". Why bother correcting others?
What I really don't understand is why is it such a crime to tell somebody they have "issues"?! There is a fine line between being judgmental and being helpful and truthful.
I certainly had issue when I lost my late boyfriend to suicide. I was grieving and I need to work through my emotions FIRST before jumping in another relationship. If I use other men to get through the pain, I would be the one with "issues" That doesn't make me a bad person, that just make me a person, well, with "issues".
If you can HONESTLY tell yourself, a 18 year old young girl can genuinely fall in love with a 81 year old grandpa, then I guess you won the argument.
Asking a broken person to offer true love is asking too much from the person.
Yes, if a 18 year old girl falls in love with a 81 year old man, I'd say she has issues and she needs to address those issues. I sure am not going to apologize for what I've said.
yes, the wider the difference the more questionable the motives, but who cares as long as they consent?
So what if Anna Nicole Smith was digging for gold when she married the 89you tycoon. He definitely knew what he was getting into, despite the "issues" they had. And my guess is that there are many single successful "old geezers" out there that would like to spend their last remaining days in the company of someone young and beautiful that brings happiness to them, even if it's just a smile and heartwarming feelings.
Why does it bug ppl so much if couples decide to be together for financial security or any other "non-love" reason? we certainly don't judge women for expecting financial security from a man, why cant a man desire youth and beauty in their selection fo partner? it's a big double standard. just like wealth, youth and beauty are commodities, and women know it, all you have to do is look at all the women's magazines covers.
and by the way, i do think love can happen between an 18yo and an 81yo. may not be the romantic, marital, or "forever" love we normally expect from an LTR, but it doesn't minimize the meaningfulness of their relationship and commitment to one another, even if it's just mutual support.
and by the way, i do think love can happen between an 18yo and an 81yo. may not be the romantic, marital, or "forever" love we normally expect from an LTR, but it doesn't minimize the meaningfulness of their relationship and commitment to one another, even if it's just mutual support.
spiritual love connection / soul mate connection / LOL NO KIDDING!!
spiritual love connection / soul mate connection / LOL NO KIDDING!!
no really, why can't it be just friendship love and care?
why do we have to use a barometer to value the legitimacy of a couple when there is care, compassion, and concern for the well-being of other?
i've heard of dudes hiring escorts just to hold hands and be in their company --no kisssing or anyting sexual. kind of sad to hear there are guys out their who can't get this deep seated need met elsewhere, but it just goes to show the evolutionary need for human companionship. even among new borns, failure to thrive can result from the lack of human touch. like i've said, let ppl love like they want to love. everyone should respect other's path to finding happiness. life is too short and meaningful to end up being alone.
no really, why can't it be just friendship love and care?
why do we have to use a barometer to value the legitimacy of a couple when there is care, compassion, and concern for the well-being of other?
i've heard of dudes hiring escorts just to hold hands and be in their company --no kisssing or anyting sexual. kind of sad to hear there are guys out their who can't get this deep seated need met elsewhere, but it just goes to show the evolutionary need for human companionship. even among new borns, failure to thrive can result from the lack of human touch. like i've said, let ppl love like they want to love. everyone should respect other's path to finding happiness. life is too short and meaningful to be alone.
Because we were talking about love here. At least I was.
I said "I don't believe a 18 year old young girl can GENUINELY fall in LOVE with a 81 year old grandpa"
They can love whoever they want to love. However, if my 18 year old friend wants to fall in love with a 81 year old, I'd say, "Please reconsider, I think you got issues." She can say, "F off, you are the one who is judgmental."
no really, why can't it be just friendship love and care?
why do we have to use a barometer to value the legitimacy of a couple when there is care, compassion, and concern for the well-being of other?
i've heard of dudes hiring escorts just to hold hands and be in their company --no kisssing or anyting sexual. kind of sad to hear there are guys out their who can't get this deep seated need met elsewhere, but it just goes to show the evolutionary need for human companionship. even among new borns, failure to thrive can result from the lack of human touch. like i've said, let ppl love like they want to love. everyone should respect other's path to finding happiness. life is too short and meaningful to be alone.
But now you are delving into a totally different topic. Do these young women PREFER much older men or do they PREFER money?
Because we were talking about love here. At least I was.
I said "I don't believe a 18 year old young girl can GENUINELY fall in LOVE with a 81 year old grandpa"
They can love whoever they want to love. However, if my 18 year old friend wants to fall in love with a 81 year old, I'd say, "Please reconsider, I think you got issues." She can say, "F off, you are the one who is judgmental."
got it, sounds reasonable to me.
but i still think that's a path to judging the legitimacy of relationships between "true love" and non-true love (secondary motive besides marriage and kids... true love i guess in the opinions of some).
and this thing about someone having "issues", it is still essentially calling into question some vague character flaw of someone based on their preferences. but then again, i know of lots of ppl who have "issues", both married/dating and single, and, of course, here on CDR. but even these adults with "issues" can competently consent to their preferred partner of choice.
really, i think that was one of the issues in this gay marriage versus marital union debate. the labels suggested one was legitimate love while the other was not, or more aptly still stigmatized. and de-stigmatizing won the day, and the future of martial relationships.
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There is a fine line between being judgmental and being helpful and truthful. 
