Women 23-32: Do You Prefer Much Older Men or Men just a few years older? (boyfriends, cheating)
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I do not think throwing out empty terms like "political correctness" helps a thing. What I am saying is no such thing. I simply see no reason to think that someone who finds love in a person of a significantly different age has "issues". And so far the only reasoning I am seeing to support such a contention is essentially "They have issues because I say they have issues".
Which is less than convincing to say the least.
Er what? When in my life did I ever say any such thing? Are you now whole sale making things up out of nowhere because your argument is so weak? I have never in my life said anything of the sort about a single person ever. Do you outright lie about people who disagree with you all the time or am I just getting special treatment???
I have no recollection of suggesting it was a crime. I simply suggested it was baseless and wrong. This series of made up words you are inserting in my mouth is getting weird.
How is claiming someone said things they never said "well said" exactly? This is not "stating facts". It is in fact the _exact_ opposite of it. It is outright lying.
I have mistaken you for someone else. Please accept my sincere apology.
However, remove the part I said, "... fat white girl" Other points I was trying to make are still valid.
I do not think throwing out empty terms like "political correctness" helps a thing. What I am saying is no such thing. I simply see no reason to think that someone who finds love in a person of a significantly different age has "issues". And so far the only reasoning I am seeing to support such a contention is essentially "They have issues because I say they have issues".
Which is less than convincing to say the least.
I said, "If you can honestly say a 18 year old young girl can FALL IN LOVE with a 81 year old man, then you have won the argument."
However, remove the part I said, "... fat white girl" Other points I was trying to make are still valid.
As are my rebuttals which decimated them. However the line you want to remove is not the only thing you inserted into my mouth. I also never said it was a "crime". I simply said that the position you are expressing is invalid, basless and likely wrong.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981
I said, "If you can honestly say a 18 year old young girl can FALL IN LOVE with a 81 year old man, then you have won the argument."
I see nothing to preclude any such thing occuring, no. Certainly not by people simply declaring out of nowhere that such people have "issues". It is - at best - uncommon - but far from unheard of.
I am struggling with this.. It's not illegal, not immoral, and I've yet to see anyone cite a bible passage condemning relationships between younger and older.
My grandmother married my grandfather when she was 15 and he was 35. They had two kids and remained married for 50 years ( when he passed). I've read a lot of posts on this subject and aside from what I would describe as people's own personal prejudice and a few horror stories ( which you'll find in any relationships) and a ton of " what if's".i haven't seen any definitive answers. What if you marry him and have kids and he gets sick or dies. Young people get sick and die too. What's the difference? If you married to a young person and they got sick would you not take care of them or find it a burden on your social life?
Are we supposed to be sheep and adhere to outdated social constructs, because " society" deems it inappropriate? ( and I still don't know why).
Maturity.... This one really gets me.
I am dating a much much older man. A man who was married to the same woman for 25 years until she passed. He started and ran his own law firm, provided a good life for himself and his family and helped to raise two responsible children. So now he's immature because he's dating someone much younger? And if you tell me that just because someone is successful it doesn't automatically make them mature I am going to ask you what maturity is considering all he's done to this point? How much more mature should he be? How do you measure it other than to look at his past history? Seems to me that he's at a point in his life where he should be able to act a little immature if he so desires. He's already proven himself.
And before you start accusing me of being a gold digger... He doesn't buy me expensive gifts, keep me, or give me any money. I have a good job, my own home, and my own money. What he does give me is companionship, excitement, advice, security ( I feel safe with him) and some pretty good sex.
Neither he or I are under the illusion that we will walk into the sunset and live happily ever after and have agreed to continue until such time that we not continue. Oh.. I am 25 and he's mid 50's.
What else ya got?
I am struggling with this.. It's not illegal, not immoral, and I've yet to see anyone cite a bible passage condemning relationships between younger and older.
My grandmother married my grandfather when she was 15 and he was 35. They had two kids and remained married for 50 years ( when he passed). I've read a lot of posts on this subject and aside from what I would describe as people's own personal prejudice and a few horror stories ( which you'll find in any relationships) and a ton of " what if's".i haven't seen any definitive answers. What if you marry him and have kids and he gets sick or dies. Young people get sick and die too. What's the difference? If you married to a young person and they got sick would you not take care of them or find it a burden on your social life?
Are we supposed to be sheep and adhere to outdated social constructs, because " society" deems it inappropriate? ( and I still don't know why).
Maturity.... This one really gets me.
I am dating a much much older man. A man who was married to the same woman for 25 years until she passed. He started and ran his own law firm, provided a good life for himself and his family and helped to raise two responsible children. So now he's immature because he's dating someone much younger? And if you tell me that just because someone is successful it doesn't automatically make them mature I am going to ask you what maturity is considering all he's done to this point? How much more mature should he be? How do you measure it other than to look at his past history? Seems to me that he's at a point in his life where he should be able to act a little immature if he so desires. He's already proven himself.
And before you start accusing me of being a gold digger... He doesn't buy me expensive gifts, keep me, or give me any money. I have a good job, my own home, and my own money. What he does give me is companionship, excitement, advice, security ( I feel safe with him) and some pretty good sex.
Neither he or I are under the illusion that we will walk into the sunset and live happily ever after and have agreed to continue until such time that we not continue. Oh.. I am 25 and he's mid 50's.
What else ya got?
If you are happy with it and he is happy with it, have fun. Doesn't make anyone immature or a gold digger. I think the main reasons people might think that is that there are some men and women are like that and it's the stereotype, but of course, not all men and women are like that. Sometimes you just fall for someone you don't expect to. Enjoy it, but be aware that that judgement is something you are going to face now and then--some people can't mind their own business. And now and then (at least on this forum) people are asked their opinions and share them. But those are usually gross generalizations. Don't let the judgement or generalization of others bring you down. It's your life, live it the way you want. I wish you the best
I don't find it repulsive if someone else is doing it, I just find older men (much older) who serially date much younger women to have equally as many issues as the women themselves.
Now, if an older man routinely dates women his own age and somehow a much younger women falls into his lap-have at it!
The men who seek younger women out though are always a bit disturbing in person. Trust me I've been propositioned/badgered/followed around/harassed enough to know.
The ones who fetishize really young women are the creepy ones. I remember those guy vividly from my teens and early twenties. They were probably creepers when they were young too.
I know men who have dated younger women, just because they met and had a connection. Those guys are different.
At that age, OP, I wanted men my age. Not older, not younger. Right around my age. But it always depends on the guy. If they're mature at a younger age, it can work out. Back then, I didn't run into any of those. The younger ones weren't mature. No older guys were interested.
When I was younger (19-24) and just liked to have fun I always dated guys much older. Like 20+ years older although I knew it wasn't for the long term. I liked the sophistication. A nice change from the college frat-boy type. Then when I wanted to get married and have kids and all I married someone the same age as me. For long-term it made more sense because we had more in common and similar life experiences.
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