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Old 11-27-2007, 03:56 PM
 
1,413 posts, read 3,046,564 times
Reputation: 1367

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I'm sure my post will offend some, but it's just my honest perspective.

I've seen the same trend as the OP, though I don't think it's some sort of mania. Specifically I'm referring to white women who "seek" black men. I think it could be a generational thing that some of you aren't "getting". Or maybe it's just the neighborhood I grew up in, I don't know.

But coming up, I would here quite often from the most pale skinned white women, and I quote: "I ONLY date black men". Now here is where I generalize, cause that's what I do sometimes, and again it's just my observations. Some of these women were raised with racist fathers and were acting out, some of them genuinely hated their own race and had low self esteem, some of them were very ignorant about black people and their man was basicly a "trophy"

It used to bother me, being white and a girl I liked would say she only dated black men. I learned to not take it personally and now I just think it's really dumb. It's hard enough to find a good partner, why narrow your options by excluding most of the population?

As I've gotten older, I've met fewer women who have this attitude, I think it's an immature attitude that young women grow out of. I believe only a small percentage of inter-racial couples are of this type

 
Old 11-28-2007, 11:54 AM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
51 posts, read 237,516 times
Reputation: 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by 18Montclair View Post
oh,
another thing I noticed is that black men(in my personal experience) often times, will want a woman who is thick(dunno how to translate that, but a larger @ss and small waist is usually what it refers to) and white men(in my personal experience) prefer women who are either beanpoles with two mosquito bites for t*ts, or buxom blondes and that's unrealistic.

Since many women nowadays are more voluptious, to put it mildly, they have a huge segment of the population that finds that hot, and that segment is black men.

Please dont take offense anyone, this is just my observation.
That, I think, is probably a HUGE part of why there are sooo many white girls w/ black guys. Honestly, I've only dated one black guy and (see previous post) it was because I was attracted to him, not ALL black men. I was pleasantly surprised when he treated me like a queen and wanted me to be just the was I was when I met him. A few of the white guys I've dated have made comments like, "well, you could always just lose weight," or, "it's okay if you're big now. I like your personality and we can work out together!" How disgusting is that?

Anyway, I agree 100% with 18Montclair that this could be a large part of the reason for this interracial dating scenario. (I was already pretty confident in me, but after dating said black man my self-image went up like 90 points. ;o>)
 
Old 11-29-2007, 10:05 PM
 
1 posts, read 19,636 times
Reputation: 22
As a white woman, it's honestly a mystery to me. I'm in my forties and have matured over the years, but there is still a twinge of racism that rears it's ugly head when I see such relationships. I know I'm not alone in feeling this, but I know few will be candid about it. In my experience, black men more often than not are less tactful in their flirtation than the white men I encounter. More often than not, their advances are either comical or just repulsive. There are certainly great guys and jerks of all colors, but this is just my experience.

For me, as with most people, there are many factors that attract me to one person vs another. Height, health, dress, hygiene, facial features, etc ... I've just not found black men to be all that attractive for a number of reasons, and perhaps that little racist thorn I carry may play a part. But when I consider the things that do attract me, overall black men usually come up short.

I do think that it's a good thing that society is losing it's hang-up about such relationships so that people can feel more free to pursue the kind of relationship that works best for them. Being with a black man is one that just won't work for me.
 
Old 11-30-2007, 07:03 AM
 
Location: I'm not lost, I'm exploring!
3,401 posts, read 13,368,636 times
Reputation: 5774
Autumn Moon, for that being your very first post on CD Land, let me congradulate you. You have your opinions and views, like everyone else on here, and although they will differ from others here and there, let me say you have a true knack for words, and expressing them in a non-intimidating or non-threatening manner. Thankyou And welcome to the boards! Hope to see you around more.

It's so refreshing to see honest opinions, even in opposition, that are polite.
 
Old 11-30-2007, 07:40 AM
 
6,565 posts, read 14,290,938 times
Reputation: 3229
Quote:
Originally Posted by Autumn Moon View Post
As a white woman, it's honestly a mystery to me. I'm in my forties and have matured over the years, but there is still a twinge of racism that rears it's ugly head when I see such relationships. I know I'm not alone in feeling this, but I know few will be candid about it. In my experience, black men more often than not are less tactful in their flirtation than the white men I encounter. More often than not, their advances are either comical or just repulsive. There are certainly great guys and jerks of all colors, but this is just my experience.

For me, as with most people, there are many factors that attract me to one person vs another. Height, health, dress, hygiene, facial features, etc ... I've just not found black men to be all that attractive for a number of reasons, and perhaps that little racist thorn I carry may play a part. But when I consider the things that do attract me, overall black men usually come up short.

I do think that it's a good thing that society is losing it's hang-up about such relationships so that people can feel more free to pursue the kind of relationship that works best for them. Being with a black man is one that just won't work for me.
Ditto what fiddle-dee-dee said about your candidness...... I'd tend to agree while cautioning you not to confuse "racial preference" with "racism"...

Your personal feelings toward yourself not being attracted to black men sounds like what I'd consider a perfectly normal racial preference.

However, your feelings toward witnessing other mixed couples may be just what you said, "a little twinge of racism".... Sounds like you're well-grounded for the most part, so I'd say try not to worry so much about the choices others make in their relationships and you'll be good to go....
 
Old 11-30-2007, 02:00 PM
 
13,648 posts, read 20,767,629 times
Reputation: 7650
Who the hell cares? Date who you want. This is an issue? Please...
 
Old 11-30-2007, 04:54 PM
 
Location: TX
5,412 posts, read 15,917,912 times
Reputation: 1726
While I don't know how accurate those stats are, from personal observation, it does appear that most black/white couples are black man w/ a white woman. Maybe white women fall for that phrase "Once you go black, you don't go back".
 
Old 11-30-2007, 04:57 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, TN
8,002 posts, read 18,601,320 times
Reputation: 12357
Quote:
Originally Posted by beowulf7 View Post
While I don't know how accurate those stats are, from personal observation, it does appear that most black/white couples are black man w/ a white woman. Maybe white women fall for that phrase "Once you go black, you don't go back".
Maybe, but maybe all the black men fall for the phrase "once you go white, you know what's right"

LOL, Just a joke ~ don't everyone go getting their panties or briefs in a bunch now!!
 
Old 11-30-2007, 05:44 PM
 
6,764 posts, read 22,065,882 times
Reputation: 4773
Maybe some white men can't stand the idea the white woman THEY like prefers a black man? I don't know.

As far as preference, we all have some 'image' that we are drawn to and we find sexy or handsome or beautiful. Some people do not like their own 'ethnic' groups or people who are dark haired or 'certain nationalities.' They don't find them attractive. Others do.

Who knows about the laws of attraction?
 
Old 12-01-2007, 05:10 AM
 
Location: the best coast
718 posts, read 2,687,669 times
Reputation: 225
this thread is so stupid. i dont see why so many old farts get so hung up on the race thing. what do i know im a california boy.
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