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Yes, absolutely. The only men I have known in that situation (no physical contact with the opposite or same sex) by their mid-20s or later have autism, cognitive impairment or some kind of life-crippling mental illness.
I think that's a very sheltered view point.
I'm 31 years old. Whilst I've kissed/made out with quite a few woman, been on a few dates which have never gone further than the first one, I've never had sex or been in a relationship.
Why?
I was bullied badly through School by girls, focused mainly on my studies at University and suffered a bereavement which put me in a bad place for a few years. Admittedly the last 3 years I don't have any real excuse. For me the bullying affected me - being constantly told your ugly and undesirable isn't the best of things, it made me nervous toward & feeling unworthy of women. Made me feel no one would ever like me & I wasn't good enough for anyone. So really I suffer(ed) from a lack of self confidence & self esteem.
This year, most notably the last 3 months I've become aware of the fact that all my problems are in my head, its not my looks that are the problem - its my perception of myself and how I think others perceive me.
My confidence has slowly grown and my self esteem is a lot better, & I've started having some really good & fun interactions with women. For the first time in my life I now believe I can get a girlfriend & that there's no reason I couldn't have one. I also believe that to say women wouldn't be attracted to me is false.
I understand women would be put off by lack of experience in terms of sex or being in a relationship, fair enough. But to say anyone older than mid twenties who doesn't have these things must have a disability or mental dis-order is baloney. I'm not mentally or physically disabled, just lacking in confidence & esteem which everyone can suffer from.
If it is a steadfast rule that men over 25 with no experience of the above have no chance then I'm doomed. And I don't believe that I am.
I understand women would be put off by lack of experience in terms of sex or being in a relationship, fair enough. But to say anyone older than mid twenties who doesn't have these things must have a disability or mental dis-order is baloney. I'm not mentally or physically disabled, just lacking in confidence & esteem which everyone can suffer from.
If it is a steadfast rule that men over 25 with no experience of the above have no chance then I'm doomed. And I don't believe that I am.
I do think that there are a lot of inexperienced people out there who aren't bad people, but at the same time, many people don't want to date a fixer upper. Awkwardness is understandable in youth and not every guy has to be a smooth operator, but by the time you hit a certain stage in life you don't want to deal with a romantic partner who's not comfortable with himself, who's not confident in his interactions, and who's not sure what he wants and who doesn't know how to speak up for himself.
Because his response might be outside of some norm or he came to some conclusion that others don't find satisfactory there is no reason to try to help or "fix" when that person doesn't want it.
You don't have to agree with it but unless someone states openly like the OP there is no reason to become so intrusive. He seems aware of his situation and found his own way to function.
In my opinion i don't cosign completely with what he said but he handled it his own, can function in society despite issues on the intimate relationship aspect. Its not the rosey triumphant view people prefer but sometimes how a persons adapts and lets leave out extremes is neither "right" or "wrong" it just works.
So i had to learn the hard way that some people aren't aware that something's wrong with them so I had to learn avoid them for my own protection and safety.
If you're a guy with no prior relationship experience and you have a hard time talking to people even though you want to and getting dates even though you really want one and you're in your late 20s/early 30s and posting online about it? I'm uncomfortable with that because it tells me there's something there that you aren't really seeing and you aren't quite aware of that I might not want in my life. I don't want to be your test trial. And for good reason. You might not have had time to realize what's wrong with you. And I don't want to be the one you find that out through or from.
Now if you form good heathy relationships with people, you do things with your life, and you never had any relationship or sexual experience because you were busy pursuing your career or something of that nature. That's different. It says to me you have something going on in your life and you might've gotten caught up in it because you're passionate about it, etc. Maybe you tried to have a relationship with someone at some point and you realized that you cared about your career more...it's very different from someone who made relationships the central theme in their life and yet they still couldn't form a relationship.
I do think that there are a lot of inexperienced people out there who aren't bad people, but at the same time, many people don't want to date a fixer upper. Awkwardness is understandable in youth and not every guy has to be a smooth operator, but by the time you hit a certain stage in life you don't want to deal with a romantic partner who's not comfortable with himself, who's not confident in his interactions, and who's not sure what he wants and who doesn't know how to speak up for himself.
Yeah I agree. Lately I'm a lot more happier with who I am and accept myself for who I am. I'm definitely more confident in my interactions, I've never ever had trouble speaking up & I definitely know what I want. Just the relationship/sexual experience is lacking.
Because his response might be outside of some norm or he came to some conclusion that others don't find satisfactory there is no reason to try to help or "fix" when that person doesn't want it.
I can't speak for others, but since you specifically quoted my post I can assure you that I have no desire to do that.
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