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My stance on this has changed over the years. I used to see nothing wrong with keeping in touch with ex-boyfriends. However, a male friend of mine set me straight. No matter how platonic the friendship may seem, men who have been naked with you tend to want to get you naked again. Whether they'll openly admit it or not, they're sort of hanging around, checking in from time to time, to see if you're up for that. And honestly, if your relationship is supposed to be first in your life (after your kids, of course), why would you want to keep in touch with exes?
Hooplaman isn't being controlling at all. He's just drawing a line in the sand and saying, "This is my boundary. If you don't respect it, I'm out of here." Anyone who gets involved with him, anyway, and still tries to keep the exes as well is the one who is being controlling.
My son has dated girls who had guy friends. He would tell them, "You know that guy wants to get in your pants, don't you?" They'd laugh it off, and insist the guys were just friends. Months later, the girl would be shocked that the guy had propositioned her. The truth is that a guy can't fool another guy.
After a couple of very tumultuous relationships, my son now has the attitude that if his girlfriend cheats, he's out of there. No negotiating, no bargaining, nothing. He'll just leave. He's not saying who his girlfriend can or can't be friends with, but he now has a zero tolerance policy in regards to any kind of cheating. I see nothing wrong with that; in fact, he's showing a lot of maturity and self-respect. I admire him a great deal, as I wasn't so mature at only 25 years old.
So how do you be friends with the opposite sex? I am married. I would not want a male friend propositioning me.
So how do you be friends with the opposite sex? I am married. I would not want a male friend propositioning me.
Most men wouldn't do that. Most observe appropriate boundaries. You can be friends with professional colleagues, if you work. Or with people you were friends with in your teens, if they're still around. If you had platonic friends back then. In situations like that, there generally aren't any sexual overtones.
Just because you say something doesn't make it true. If you actually read my posts you would know what specifically happened in my situation. Clearly you didn't!
Why the hell did you come here and ask for our opinions if you"re going to be a dick when you get them?
Maybe you only wanted the opinions that streamline with yours, in which case, why bother? It's not like you want to learn anything or see different viewpoints.
What is OP definition of "friends"? An ex they are cordial with (can speak when running into each other in public. Social Media "friends" but no true contact) or an ex they still talk to regularly/hang with/engage on social media with them.
I am a woman and I think its ok to be "cordial" with an ex because it shows you're over the relationship.
So, OP, would you be suspicious of Timberline's motives? Would you tell your gf he's just trying to get into her pants, if he were one of her exes? He makes sense, but he also seems a little clingy. What do you say to your gf hanging out with him, yay or nay?
I will already be out of that relationship or never in it to begin with...
Purely inappropriate in my book, people can call me whatever they want I draw my line in the sand on this one and that's that!
Quote:
Originally Posted by weltschmerz
Why the hell did you come here and ask for our opinions if you"re going to be a dick when you get them?
Maybe you only wanted the opinions that streamline with yours, in which case, why bother? It's not like you want to learn anything or see different viewpoints.
Funny how you aren't calling out the others who came in here posting nonsense buzzwords in here they use to try to discredit someone they don't agree with. Also if you look in the OP you still see I have strongly worded my opinion and asked for RATIONALIZATIONS for this behavior not a critique of my own position. So now you people don't want me to defend my position on this?
Yeah, sure let me bend over for you holier than thou folk.
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