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I don't think I could be friends with and ex, like BFFs but I am friendly with some of my ex's. I will have a conv. with them if I see them out and about.
For all intents and purposes, it shouldn't be a problem. And I do agree that, among other things, much of it has a lot to do with maturity level. If there are no residual feelings or alternative motives, why is this even a problem?
Personally, speaking, I do not speak to my most recent exboyfriend. For both of us, there are still some residual feelings that can never and will never result in a nonromantic, simply platonic relationship. We are both mature enough to accept that.
How does this have anything to do with maturity? Am I asking any SO to stop being friends with someone or am I just leaving the relationship outright because I see a red flag.
What is the point of continuing to talk to ex's?
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Originally Posted by 2mares
I don't think I could be friends with and ex, like BFFs but I am friendly with some of my ex's. I will have a conv. with them if I see them out and about.
This is fine with me, obviously there's no need to be rude to our ex's just because it didn't work out.
If there is a reason to talk to an ex, like a kid or critter that is fine. However, I see no need to chat up or be friends with an ex. If I do encounter an ex I would be civil and polite. Not going to carry on a conversation or want to catch up on old times.
Being able to stay friends with exes is actually a good sign.
It means that whatever caused your break up, at least you didn't do something so horrible that your ex hates you now. If I met a woman who hated all her exes and wasn't still friends with any of them, I'd have to wonder what her problem was.
Honestly, OP, you just sound very insecure, jealous and controlling.
Last edited by RogersParkGuy; 03-04-2014 at 09:43 AM..
How does this have anything to do with maturity? Am I asking any SO to stop being friends with someone or am I just leaving the relationship outright because I see a red flag.
What is the point of continuing to talk to ex's?
This is fine with me, obviously there's no need to be rude to our ex's just because it didn't work out.
I see the OP's point. It seems that being friends with an ex is a failure to move forward or still in the past. Now, there is no need to talk about an ex with vitriol or hate.
Being able to stay friends with exes is actually a good sign.
It means that whatever caused your break up, at least you didn't do something so horrible that your ex hates you now. If I met a woman who hated all her exes and wasn't still friends with any of them, I'd have to wonder what her problem was.
Honestly, OP, you just sounds very insecure, jealous and controlling.
Honestly, I think you haven't read all the replies in the thread for an important clarification I have made twice in the thread.
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It's not about caring if a girl cheats on you, my philosophy is give the girl all the rope she needs to hang herself. That's not my concern, I just don't want to put myself in such a stupid situation that is just bound to be screwed. Why should I invest when the risk is unacceptable?
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Originally Posted by Raena77
You can leave from the beginning if you see a redflag. Anyone would do this if it doesn't match what they prefer.
You are right and that is exactly what I did when I realized what I had gotten myself into.
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Originally Posted by Liberty2011
So a red flag is talking to someone?
Someone? Really you are going to water it down to that level?
How does this have anything to do with maturity? Am I asking any SO to stop being friends with someone or am I just leaving the relationship outright because I see a red flag.
What is the point of continuing to talk to ex's?
Seriously? Reread your original post.
You come off as completely controlling and immature. If you are secure in your relationship, then you have no need to harbor on or try to control your SO by dictating who she can/can't see/talk to/spend time with. A sign of maturity is that you allow your girlfriend to make her own personal decisions about with whom she communicates. A sign of maturity is that you don't try to dictate her decisions, irrespective of how you feel.
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